i'm at the end of my teather

[mummysgoingmad]

my ds (2.5) is doing my head in!! the moaning is getting too much, he cant talk point or wave so i have no form of communication with him, i can feel myself losing control and could run away. dp's family took him for a couple of days to give me some respite, but the minute i got him back i could of cried, i'm not coping, i have no family of my own close by and dp works untill 8pm everyday so i have ds all the time on my own. as i write this i am in floods of tears as i feel i am failing my son. I really do try to keep him amused but i cant cope with the moaning 12 hours a day anymore

we are being seen by a specialist health visitor and specialist nursery nurse, we are waiting on a SALT and his autism assessment. The specialist health visitor and nursery nurse keep saying give it time, right now i cant see how things will ever change.

Have a look at the second half of this thread, mummysgoingmad, here there are some great ideas for reducing frustration in non verbal DC. HTH

X posted with justa. Makaton is a great idea, unfortunately my DS with ASD didn't take to it, it was too abstract for him. He preferred the pictures, more concrete. But both worth a try.

What does he like doing? Is there anything that will keep him occupied?

When My DS was the same age he was non-verbal and so he spent alot of time crying and moaning too. We spent hours each day reading the same book and blowing bubbles. It was the only thing that would keep him happy for even 20 minutes.

We use Makaton too and we spent alot of time watching Mr Tumble. DS didnt take to signing straight away but Mr Tumble really took his mind off it for a while. I used to be really strict about TV, but DS watches it most of the time and I try not to care as much as I used to.

It is hard and I do feel for you, but it will get easier.

we tried makaton form around 18months until 2.1 years but it didnt work and sometimes would make the moaning worse, we are now using pecs with help from the specialist nursery nurse but she said under no circumstance must i do it by myself as it may confuse him as you need a communicator and someone to guide his hand, so until he gets the gist of it while he is attending the child development centre it is pretty much useless in the home. i think your right justabout the moaning may be stimulating for him which is why he does it. Sometimes it gets so bad it can bring on a migraine. Its as if his development has just stopped since he started walking. i try my best to bring him on but i feel as though i'm out of my depth.

Get them moving quickly with the PECs, MGMad. Once I started using choice boards at home things got sooo much better. I know it's supposed to be done 'properly' but you need to get trained up, too, in that case, as reinforcing it at home will be helpful!

ask about you doing some pecs training, a friend of mine got sent on a pyramid course to help her start pecs with her child with ASD.

What does he like doing OP? Is there anything that keeps him quiet for even a little bit?

I've found that my DS progressed in leaps as well. No progress for ages, plateaued for months, then a big leap as he finally cottoned on. This happened lots of times between 12 months and 6 years. I remember he always seemed to make a jump in the summer holidays when he had to learn nothing new and had time to absorb what he had learnt. This happened with his speech age 4.

I really know what you mean about no development after walking. DS was just like that. I couldn't see any progress from 12 mths until he got the hang of PECS when he was 3. Hang on in there.

he likes it when i blow bubbles, and he likes the mr men (the old version) but i'm not keen on sticking him in front of a tv for long periods of time. he likes animals birds in particular and he likes cause and effect toys i.e. his vtech phonics desk. he is really repetitive in his play for example he has to touch the windowsil then run to the wardrobe in my room, touch that then run back to the windowsil. he will do this 20 times or more before he stops.

Exactly what I was going to say justabout.

If its going to keep him quiet for half an hour while you have a cuppa and a sit down its going to be worth it. He will benefit better from a Mum who has been able to recharge her batteries a bit.

Dont be so hard on yourself. We all want to be perfect parents but the truth is that it isnt possible. You need a break for yourself too.

Can you take him to Pets at Home or somewhere and sit him in front of the aviary?

If TV is what keeps you sane, then it needs to be done. Keep in mind it will get better, because as he gets older he will develop ways to communicate. He's only had 2.5 years practice so far.

As a precursor to PECS, maybe try Objects of Reference. So, offer him a cup to represent drink, a fork/spoon to represent dinner, a toy to represent play time etc. Start with one and put it close enough so he can touch the one he wants

HTH

Can you get Portage or Homestart in your area to give you a break?
Or ask social services for a disabled child assessment AND a carers assessment for you and say you need some help - if you get direct payments you can buy in some help.
DS was exactly the same at 2.5. I often used to just put him in the pushchair and go out, I was still tired as I had to walk but mentally it was a break.
Swimming and trampolines also worked - he still stimmed but was generally very content at both
If you have a long wait for SALT apply to Cerebra for SALT vouchers
Is there any way your DH could work shorter hours even just one night a week so you could get a break. I used to go to a yoga class one night a week and that was bliss even though I did used to almost fall asleep at the beginning of the class!
He loved a ball popper toy - like a helter skelter - I think Argos have it
teachmetotalk.com has some ideas for toys