My kid was called a "retard" today

[whatever17]

DS2 is going to an independent specialist school (dyslexia based) (LEA court case) in September. He is really excited to be taught with other dys/dys kids and only 6 in a class - I have told him it is a massive deal that we/he won this case against the LEA and to look forward to it.

A kid in his Year 6 mainstream class called him a retard today about going to his new secondary school, therefore my kid bopped him on the nose and said "don't call me a retard or I will hit you again".

He got called into Headteacher's office HT said - "why did you hit him", DS said "cos he called me a retard".

HT said "OK".

I have only heard about this through DS. Frankly, I think "fair enough". I have said, don't hit first, but hit back.

What do you think?

I think you should not encourage him to hit (even though the child deserved it) as it may cause problems in the future (with him thinking it may be ok to hit if someone is being nasty), best to teach him to walk away, i always tell dd1 to walk away if someone is being nasty.

I hate the word 'retard' but sadly kids (older kids) tend to use it alot as a way to bully another child .

I think Marne is right - you may open yourself up to "Well Mum told me to hit back"

And sadly yes the R word does seem to be a common insult - a bit like "gay" was a while back

The R word may be common but that's not a reason to just accept its use. I hope the HT will do something about the bullying but at least you know your DS will be out of that environment soon.

Well done on winning the case - I know it's very hard to get a statement for dyslexia at all, let alone an independent specialist placement. My DS also moved to a specialist placement (for AS) at secondary transition after failing at a mainstream primary. We had to go to tribunal but it was worth it, it's made a huge difference for him.

I'm not sure of the right answer to this. I'm very anti-violence, but sometimes it's quite understandable that a child responds to bullying by using it. Especially if a school's response is 'ok' rather than dealing with the bullying incident properly. Confessions here - my son (rugby prop, built like a brick outhouse, stronger than a team of buffalo) was called some very interesting things by one lad a few years back. He picked him up, carried him over his shoulder to the nearest large waste paper recycling bin, and dropped him in it. No harm done except to pride. The lad didn't bother trying again. I didn't approve, but I still have a sneaking admiration for it as a solution. Shame on me.

I am against children hitting and fighting generally....but yay well done DS2! .

Think HT also had sneaking admiration! Very non PC!

Probably not wise to do the same again, so a little carefully talking etc is called for, I think.