such a struggle to get DD to sleep

[chocjunkie]

DD1 (3, with s&l delay; we also suspect asd) always struggled to go to sleep at night (we don't even try to get her to nap during the day). we have quite a set routine (putting pyjama on, having a major battle to get her teeth brushed, brushing teeth, going to bed, reading a book, light out)... but DD1 just can't wind down. she lies in her bed, keeps talking (well, mainly jargon & echolalia). she won't let me leave the room either. if I do she goes absolutely ballistic so I (or DP) have to stay with her until she finally dozes off. the whole procedure usually takes between 1.5 and 2 hours. she usually is asleep by 9 or 10 at night and will be wide awake again between 6 and 7 in the morning (plus waking up at night once or twice).

I really don't get it. I am tired, DP is tired. DD1 is not...

I gave recently birth to DD2, so I am up at night anyways to BF (luckily she is a very easy baby and sleeps very well apart from the night feeds). but on the whole, I don't get a lot of sleep anymore these days and I am constantly exhausted.

I really feel that DD1 also needs more sleep than she actually gets (about 9-10 hours at most).

any tips on how to improve DD1's sleep, especially the going to sleep issue? I don't mind the waking up at night too much as she settles back to sleep quite quickly but I want my evenings back!

You have my sympathy. DD1 was like this until she was 6 and DD2 was 6 months old. Luckily my DD2 was like your DD2 although she isn't any more.

You could try the gradual withdrawal technique where you sit a little further away each week, until she gets used to you not being so close and in the end you are outside the door and she is coping.

Giving her a top you've been wearing might help too. It helps my DD2 who has HFASD.

We use an iPod with audiobooks on to help DD2 go off as it means she can't hear the noises in her head which plague her at bedtime. It seems to be an ASD thing and is an echo of the loud or upsetting noises she's heard during the day. bOth my girls get this. I wonder if your DD is experiencing it too.

Have you thought about going down the Melatonin route?

thanks alison. have been thinking about the withdrawel technique. maybe should give it a go... no idea though is she is experiencing any echo of noises (DD's speech is too delayed to explain :( )

@marioandluigi - haven't seen the paed yet. first appointment is coming up but the sleep issue is on our long list of things to discuss. saw also your thread about the blinds. maybe this is something we should try as well. getting her to sleep has become more of a pain since the days have become longer. it was easier when it got dark very early...

I know it's not really the done thing but, ds3 has a tv/dvd on the wall in his bedroom which he watches and does and up going to sleep. We have positioned it so it is level with his pillow meaning he sees it the best while lying down. Worth a try! ds now chooses which dvd he wants to watch each night. Before this he would take up to 3 hours to go to sleep, I wasn't too keen on the idea but needs must as I was exhausted, now I wouldn't be without it.

DS was doing a similar thing - taking him about 2 hours some nights to wind down and finally go to sleep after being put in his cot (often with big tantrums in the meantime). I asked for a Groclock as his christmas present from a friend, not really thinking it would work but thought it might be worth a go... It has a sun on and when it is time to sleep you press the button and the sun goes to sleep and a blue sleepy star comes on, then it is a bit of a nightlight as well until the sun comes up again in the morning (when you set it to!). Anyway it seems to have worked amazingly for DS - we explain it is time to say night night to mr sun etc and turn the star on, and he smiles and most of the time lies himself straight down and goes to sleep - even when he doesn't go straight away it takes him no more than half an hour which is a huge improvement. When he is really exhausted he will actually point to the clock himself to say he wants to go to bed. Portage says it is a visual prompt. Anyway I'm sure it doesn't work for every child (SN or not) - I never thought DS would get it at all, but as it has been such an unexpected success here I thought it might be worth suggesting!

I wish that worked for us keeping. If we put DD2 in front of a tv it's like giving her a caffeine boost and you can guarantee she'll be going til 1am. Shame because I'm so over worrying about tv if only they would go to sleep.

I've given up with DD1 now. Aged 13 she just watches iPlayer in her room til 1 am every night and I go to bed and leave her to it.

I don't know where you live chocjunkie (BTW that so shoudl be my name!) but we borrow audiobooks on cd from our local libraries fro £1 a time so it may be worth giving that a go if you're thinking of trying them rather than paying fortunes for new ones.

sounds silly but the sleep fairy used to visit our house but would only visit if i was out of dd room by the time the timer went off...the sleep fairy left a note and small gift for dd and sometimes sleep fairy left 2 notes one was for me to bake or play something special with dd. our bedtime routine was bath pjs some panpipe music and a lavender oil shoulder massage to relax dd then i would leave her listening to the music

I have to admit to using a tv and dvd player in my ds's room (he's nearly 4). His sleep patterns are erratic to say the least and seem to change regularly.
He is on the melatonin which worked for a while getting him off to sleep but then he would be up for 2-3 hours during the night.
To be honest I am just at the stage of getting used to it being how he is, we have tried loads of different things.

The tv is a godsend when he wakes in the night, kicking hell out of his door and shouting, wanting to go downstairs, a disney movies keeps him occupied for about 1.5 hours so I can go back to sleep, hoping he will too!!
We also would never get him asleep if it wasn't for the stable door on his room (thanks to OT) as he would forever be out of his room and up to god knows what!! :)

Hi my dd is 20 months and was a hideous sleeper until we saw an OT. She gave us some ankle and wrist weights like the kind you use for running o put on dd. She didn't like them on her arms and legs though so we placed them on her body along with a weighted belt and it worked like magic. Dd has alway loved deep pressure and she falls asleep I I lean on her! Could you try a weighted blanket? Just be sure to get the right weight for her, or buy some ankle wrist weights to see if it works firt

thanks for all the tips. I will give a couple of things a go though not the TV (we haven't even got one :o )