Help! DS keeps hitting me and I don't know how to handle him.

[mouseface]

Hello

DS is 2yrs next month. He doesn't talk at all and has GDD, along with other Complex Needs. He has a cleft palate and is under two seperate SALT teams.

Thing is, up until a few days ago, he'd just go and get what he wanted or bring anything he wanted me to do to me IYSWIM.

It's almost as if his head is racing infront of his mouth, he gets so very cross with me when I don't know what he wants.

It's starting to really upset me, I keep bursting into tears because I don't know what to do.

It's only been a couple of days but I need help. He hit DH this morning too. For the first time.

I'm going to call his SALT first thing on Monday but I wondered if there is anything I can do until she can come and see him.

I know this should maybe be in Children's Health and Behaviour but I'd like your help please.

this is fairly classic behaviour of non-sn children of the same age so I wouldn't get too upset yet. It's not called 'The Terrible Twos' for nothing!

If you can just be firm and consistent, saying 'no' clearly and following it up with signing, this will probably help more than reacting emotionally.

It wouldn't hurt to get further advice, bearing in mind his special needs and the importance of nipping it in the bud. It would probably be a really good idea to post in Children's Behaviour as it is such a 'normal' stage.

Thank you

sorry, this is my Easter name

I agree with BakeliteBelle. I can remember getting really upset when ds2 hit me at about the same age - I took it very personally.

Dd (2 yrs 2 months) has tried it a couple of times with me recently, but learned pretty quickly not to. I just said a firm no with a really cross face, then got up and walked away from her for a couple of minutes each time. It works best if they are after your attention at the time, as removing your attention is actually the oppostite effect from the one they want, so works really well as a negative consequence. I love it when dog training and parenting techniques are the same - I can cope with that.

She still beats hell out of her poor brothers though. They are just too soft to be firm with her.

I just sneaked a peek at your profile pictures, your dcs are both beautiful. Is that a malamute pup? He/she's gorgeous too.

(slight name change tweak)

Yes, the Malamute is now HUGE at 4 months old, called Seth and as daft as a brush.

DS doesn't do it for attention, he does it because I don't understand what he wants and he doesn't know how to tell me. He makes noises, 'eh' and the like but no words, not even Mama or Dada.

I'm sure it a 'normal' ohase but just at the moment, I feel a bit useless. I am firm with him, use the Makaton sign for no when he does it and I move away.

Just a bit fragile I guess.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me, it really helps!

I've wanted a Malamute, for the past 16 years, ever since there were some 8 week old pups at my dog training club and I got to cuddle them (well actually they all got to squash me ).

I think all two year olds do it out of frustration at not being understood as well, but I can see how it must be worse for your ds. Its perfectly understandable for you to be feeling fragile about it.

I'm sure someone else will be along to offer better advice soon.

Thanks moose, it's almost compounded by the fact that he can't speak a single word, you know?

And, btw, Seth has the paws of a bear but the temperemant of a goldfish. He's just so gentle. Ideal as a pet if you have a big garden and lots of time on your hands to play with them.

Do you have any makaton symbol[sp] cards. We have just started using them at work with a little chap who is finding it hard to learn the signs, he has taken really well to the symbols.

Just a thought.

That's a really good idea, Ineedalife. My DS was very frustrated and non verbal up until 3.5 or so. He found PECs symbols very helpful. You could just use photos of things he could choose from, like games he likes playing, food or drinks he likes, DVDs he likes. Giving him a choice with pictures may give him a small amount of control over his own life and reduce his frustration. If photos work you may be able to move on to more symbolic cartoon like pictures. (Have the written word with the picture, may help reading skills later.)

You get support from SALT, do you get portage as well? They should both have access to lots of symbols from Widget etc to supply you. My DS went straight to symbols but he was 3. Photos, just printed off on paper, maybe laminate if poss to make them sturdy, may be better for a 2 yo?

A firm 'No' will sink in. Also, move out of the way as soon as you see a smack coming. Don't give the opportunity to hit (as far as possible). Sometimes it becomes a sensory thing and they like the way it feels, so better not start to go down that path.

Dd was very frustrated at that point as she couldn't communicate to tell us what she wanted. So makaton cards or picture cards or signing - something needs to be in place asap to give him a way to communicate. It's all little things isn't it? Juice, fruit, biscuits, toys, bed - easy enough with cards.

And please don't cry - it's 'I really really want a bisuit donchaknow', NOT 'I hate my mummy'.

He doesn't eat or drink, he has sensory feeding disorder, he's tube fed and will sometimes bring me his pump when he's hungry so that side of things isn't such an issue, but all the other suggestions are brilliant, thank you.

We're on a HUGE waiting list for Portage. Yes re the laminated photos for him, he's nearly 2 in years but is actually around 6 - 9 months behind. I do basic Makaton but have no symbols for the words, how easy is it to get them? I think that would really help too.

I would second what ellenjane has said my dd has no speech but eye points pretty well.We just went round taking photo's of toys,dvd's,food,drink etc.Then went laminator crazy.

Sorry cross posted.

As growly said, go round with the camera and photo his actual things, as the symbols or generic photos may be too complex for his developmental stage. Hope it helps.

You could buy some of the symbols from here www.makaton.org
But I just used to watch loads of something special with dd. They cover lots of daily use ones.

However, for the cards, I found pictures better than symbols.

Ah, yes, we are Mr Tumble addicts here!

Good idea about photgraphing his own toys etc. So much easier for him if he recognises things in his toy box.

Leonie - can I ask how you found out your DD has ASD? Not that I'm trying to give DS another label or not...... just curious how you'd find out. DS has another huge assessment at a CDC (Child Development Centre) in Autumn. Maybe they'll look at his educational needs in more detail then too?

Portage suggested to us for DGS to do photos of things he may want (drinks, chocolate buttons! etc) and to laminate them so he can point to what he wants. Also so that he can be offered choices which is an important developmental stage.