ADHD medication or not ???

[lisa1cares]

Hi All
Well its a long story but a few years ago we put our daughter on ADHD medication and was really shocked when a TA made a nasty comment in front of our DD and some other children (aged5-6-7) about how she thought it was wrong to have a child on medication. This made us feel really bad and we had her come off the medication. Now our DD is 11 and starts high school in September we have spoken to her doctor at CAMHS and are currently feeling the medication is now the only option left for her to lead a some what normal life with in school. The doctor was not happy at all with the report he got back off school and when I explained to why we did not want to go down the meds route he was quite angry with the school and said that she had no right to talk such a way, she is not a doctor and does not know what's best for a child with any kind of disorder :) So we have agreed to put her on the meds again. It seems that with in the school no matter what happens they blame it on our DD. She comes home very upset. Her class teacher manages her well but still does not fully understand her needs and also when she is not there the TA is forever telling her off. She has worry beads in school to help her be still and this TA told her off for using them ???????? what's the point in having them if she is going to get told off for using them like she should ????? I didnt mean for this to turn into a rant I guess I am just worried about the whole weather we are doing the right thing with the medication and all the going to high school in September stuff :(

The TA sounds like a right cow, she should have been reported, would she have said that about a child with diabetes or epilepsy. My ds is 11, just started high school and is on adhd meds. High school is a huge change from primary, ds can not managed with out his meds, he has tried. Your dd is at an age now she will be able to make sense of how she feels while she is taking the meds. High school is a big place and can be very daunting, with having to move from classroom to classroom, lots more people and lots of homework.
I would speak to school about how the TA is making your dd feel, also speak to them about extra transition visits, those really helped my ds.

it's your decision as the parent whether she takes meds or not for this.

i find with dd that it makes life so much better for her - and so much easier for us, as we are able to connect & interact with her so much more easily. it doesn't sound like the school she's in has been helpful at all.

and i would say that secondary can be bewildering for the best of kids - my personal plan would be to have her take some meds now, maybe for a month (or more), and see if she can see how they help her. please note, i'm NOT a doctor, but have taught for over 12 years & have an adhd daughter.

It's not something I've had to decide (because my DC don't have ADHD, not because of anything else) and I must admit that ADHD medication is something that I'd probably dither about, they can have nasty side effects bla de bla de bla, lol and I am I'm afraid a little bit lentil weavery when it comes to medication in general.

But, it's your child, so your decision and no TA has the right to judge that.

I know a lot of people who think they're nigh on miraculous, not because they make everything completely fine, but because the difference they do make, makes their child happier and of course by extension the whole family happier. I know some people who tried them and after trying a few kinds couldn't agree that they worked well enough to carry on or their childrens side effects were such that they didn't think it was worth the small difference they were making and I know some that have never tried medication.

None of them are wrong, because again, your child, you get to decide what's right for them and you.

Completely inappropriate for the TA to comment on the meds, but it sounds like the TA is not acting appropriately all the way around, doesn't it? They certainly shouldn't have discussed the medication in front of your DD or other children.

I think a word with the headteacher about the TA's behaviour would be in order. Is this TA someone who works only with your DD as a 1:1 or just with the class? If it's with her as a 1:1, I think someone else with a more appropriate mindset needs to be found. If it's with the class, then she needs a stern talking to about not only her attitude and behaviour, but perhaps some further training in dealing with special needs as well as confidentiality (re making the comments about your DD and her meds in front of other children), as obviously both need addressing.

Lisa did you complain to head teacher and board of governors re the T/A's comment .... Completely inappropriate and in breach of the confidentiality conduct schools have in place - what if you didn't want anyone else to know your child was on meds?!?!. If I was leaving that school in July, I'd make it very bloody clear how unhappy I am with the T/A .. in writing, all the way to the top. She is out of order and sounds a right cow!! She will be working with the some of the most vulnerable children in that school whose needs are greater than others. Jeeze, it makes my blood boil!! On the med question, I can't help you there. Our son is 8 and ADHD, not deemed severe enough for meds ... but this may change as he gets older and I may find myself fighting the same demons as you are now

The TA was being highly unprofessional and speaking out of turn, there (and sounds like she's in the wrong job, full stop). DS1 is barely functional without his ADHD meds - can't even dress himself and sometimes needs help to feed himself because he's all over the place and just not manage it. How on earth is it wrong to give him something that helps him to lead a slightly more normal life?

We held out for 5 years due to my misplaced ideals -I though good parenting and ''therapy'' would be enough - I think I was also very aware of being judged.I was wrong - the past 2 years on medication have been so much easier for my son , our family and also school. I was sort of afraid that medication would take away his personality -it has actually allowed his personality to shine through - he has made friends and has also jumped way ahead academically.
Its not a magic bullet -we still have major problems - but he is now in MS (in As unit) where 2/3 years ago residential school was looking a very likely option.