Probable ASD (not yet diagnosed) how to treat him?

[mummyofbenjamin]

Hi there first of all - I'm new here. I am mum to 2 boys - DS1 is 5 and has no problems and DS2 is 3.5 and is probably ASD. We're in the middle of assessments and hoping for diagnosis in the next few weeks or months.

He's (we think!) mild ish end of the spectrum (speech is mostly repeating stuff rather than conversation, doesn't intereact at all with other kids but is very loving and cuddly, doesn't mind change to routine etc. Paediatrician at last assessment said he ticks some of the boxes but definitely not all of them!

He does have some "obsessions" and at this stage we're not sure how to deal with those. Today it came to a bit of a head when his favourite mug that he carried round everywhere got broken (cos he was carrying it round everywhere and he threw it in anger!) So is it better to discourage the obsessions like carrying round random things (Last thing was a dvd that also got broken) or to let him do the stranger things that he does cos they're what makes him happy?

It's such a roller coaster all of this and i am sure there are people on here who can help. I've been reading lots of the ASD posts on here to learn as much as I can. Thanks xx

Just to say we are in the same boat as you with dd 4, the Dev Paed has said she might have ASD but will make a definite decsion during a multi disciplinary team meeting in September. We think that she is on the milder end as she does speak and does make eye contact, and has started to use more expressive speech, and has made a special friend at pre school. We went to this friends house last Sat and seeing them play together you would not think that there was anything wrong, she was interacting (with her limited lang) with the girl, giving her eye contact, not sat away from her doing her own thing like she used to. No dd is not ridgid, she does not mind changes in routine, is not fixated on objects or turning lights on or off for example. DD is very cuddly and loves hugs and kisses and has started to respond to people when asked questions.

I think as far as obsessions go, you have to decide if it's detrimental or not. If it's something he wants to carry around that is breakable, you might want to encourage him to carry something nonbreakable - if it's a mug, see if you can't find a plastic mug that he will carry around instead. I try not to stress over temporary obsessions unless they are dangerous or socially destructive (for lack of a better way of putting "things that will make the other kids go ewwwwww or will freak the other kids out" ).

I'd agree with Triggles. Some people prefer to discourage obsessions but if they are harmless and socially acceptable I have no problem with them. They provide comfort and reduce anxiety. If they are a bit embarrassing in public, but really harmless I restrict them to in the house. If they are socially damaging (eg very cringeworthily embarrassing and age inappropriate) I discourage them. Lots of young children carry toys around with them, so it's not unusual, just try to make it something you can rotate a few of in case of loss and sturdy in case of damage.