V small compared to others here but this upset me today.

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DS2 has Dyspraxia and SPD (no statement, just from a letter after paed appt) He is also being assessed for ASD.

It's his birthday today and he was aware and did wake up excited but when he hadn't got the gift he had asked for he 'switched off' and went back to where ever it is he goes when he mentally wanders off :(. We had planned to give him his Nintendo DS just before bed but brought that out before school and there was just no reaction. Even though he was desperate for one and we had told him he wasn't having on until he was 7.

It's not as noticeable at christmas because the other DCs are charging around and it hypes him up and we are busy for a few days before and after.

He didn't get the gift that he wanted because every where had sold out when i was able to get into town to buy it. He did get the other gift he asked for.

oh you poor thing

its awful isnt it?

my DS could never handle birthday or christmas gifts very well

hes 11 now, so I tell him exactly what he will be getting before the day

he says hes happier with it as he doesnt like surprises

I do remember feeling terrible at the time

It didn't help that i forgot the obligatory bag of sweets to hand out at school too.
#mumfail

, christmas and birthdays are the same in my house, dd2(asd) only gets excited if its something with a tv character on (excited to see the character not the gift), dd1(as) can pretend to be excited (i have taught her how) so when people give her gifts i dont get the embarassment of her looking ungreatfull (even though her excitement looks fake).

Both dd's don't really do suprises so i now aske relitives for money as they would prefere a trip to the shop to buy something they can choose.

I can sympathise - I dread birthdays and christmas, DS2 has rolling obsessions so I never know what to get! Chances are it will be wrong whatever I get, and he doesn't like the surprise element.

It's not going to get any easier either is it?

I don't know how to make things the same for all of the DCs with DS2 needing things done so differently :(

It will get easier, in the way that you will get used to it and addapt in a way that suits him and your other DC's. Dd2 often unwrapps pesents (things she has asked for, got excited about seeing on a tv add) and we get no reaction what so ever . A few weeks ago was her 5th birthday so we aske relitives for cash to take her to the toy shop or let her look on Amazon (which she loves), we got her a bike, covered it in balloons and all she said was 'bike' and then walked away, she was far more happier with taking her money to a shop and choosing something.

As long as he gets use out of the DS then i wouldn't be too worried about the reaction (or lack of it), i'm sure in his own way he's really pleased with it, i know its hard when you get no reaction, no thank you and it can be upsetting when you have gone to so much trouble getting them what they wanted .

Thanks for replies. He is playing outside with a friend. I say friend, it's one of the 3/4 people he can name as being in his class. Have organised him a aprty for weekend more because its what he thinks happens on birthdays (and therefore needs to happen) and struggled to get him to reach a total of them that already included him, his 2 brothers and a friend for the eldest.

Sorry for the me me me post. I'm just finding things a bit tricky at the mo.

I think it's small things like that that upset you the most, things that you should be able to take for granted and you can't

birthdays, parties, normal childhood stuff isn't it? You want them to have what other children have and it's hard when you can't do it

my ds doesnt like birthdays and christmas surprises one mnr said her son hated surprises so much but she felt she had to wrap the presents so did it in a kind of clear wrapping paper good idea i thought so he couldnt look at it properly but wasnt surprised and upset, my ds wanted a ben 10 game that hadnt quite come out until january and although id explained till blue in the face he still cried his eyes out christmas day when it didnt materialise bless i felt THE worst parent ever too so know how you feel this was this christmas and hes 10 i do hope he gets better dont want everyone upset christmas or birthdays again like that