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feeling a bit disheartened - want a whinge :(

6 replies

Chundle · 05/04/2011 19:51

had my friend over today with her 7 month old baby thought it would be good for dd2 (20 months) to slowly get her used to interaction with other children as this baby is very placid and happy. WRONG!

Baby is now babbling and DD hated it :( Every time baby babbled DD got very red in the face her bottom lip quivered and she started crying. It was so upsetting. My friend is very understanding of DDs social anxiety problems and was good about it. DD wouldnt even look at the baby for the whole 90 mins they were here, she would look at my friend and hand her toys but would not look at the baby other than the odd glance over her shoulder to make sure the baby had not got any closer to her! In the end DD kept fiddling with babys shoes and shoving them towards baby which i know means she wants the baby to go. I understand that she doesnt like a babys cry but i dont get that she doesnt even like a babys babbling noise !!!!! Im struggling to understand her at the moment. When she is in situations like this she shows physical signs of stress i.e. sweating, tacky skin, goosebumps etc. Am I doing the right thing trying to get her used to these situations?? Or should I stop visitors to the house for the foreseeable!!

This evening she had an almighty tantrum and was tiptoeing everywhere with tears pouring down her face shouting 'shoeeeeessssssss' at top of her voice. So i put her shoes on. In the end she went to bed with her pyjamas and shoes on! I sometimes feel like DD2 is running the house.

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TotalChaos · 05/04/2011 21:21

Sorry it was a rotten afternoon. Not got any massively useful experience but didn't like to see this unanswered! Hopefully she'll start getting more comfortable with having the baby around. If it's a sensitivity to sound issue, would ear defenders help do you think, or do you want her to get used to normal sounds. I think you have to persevere to some extent, is your DD any better or worse out of the house, just wondering if it might work better if you visited their house, or would be more stressful.

IndigoBell · 05/04/2011 21:23

:(

No easy answers. But can I just give you a big hug instead?

We've had this conversation many times on this board about pushing our ASD type kids to do things they don't want to - and we always get mixed responses.

So there def is no wrong or right answer. For about a year I didn't push DS to do anything he didn't want to do. And it was right for me at the time. Now he's a lot better, I push him to do a lot more.....

But I'm a big softy and never very rarely make him do things which really upset him Blush

Sleeping with shoes on :) Both my boys happily do this.

Chundle · 05/04/2011 21:30

Thanks for your replies ladies. I'll have a careful think about how far we push her. She is noise sensitive and I think the fact te baby was there coupled with the fact it dared to mKe a noise was too much for her. She hates visitors in house anyway particularly ones that make noise anyway. Going out is always tricky she gets very anxious and very overactive when in new environments and tends to end in disaster. I think I may try trips to large open spaces in future at least she can run around then. nothin is ever simple with fussy kids! Guess I'm destined to only have Internet friends until she tolerates visitors!!

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IndigoBell · 05/04/2011 21:35

You are in a very vulnerable position if you can't leave the house and can't invite friends over :(

Make sure you do keep up with us internet friends.

This doesn't sound at all sustainable long term.... So I guess you will have to get her used to a few things :(

Maybe Starlight's magic ABA could really help her?????

zzzzz · 05/04/2011 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chundle · 05/04/2011 21:45

Thanks for the tips ladies. It's not sustainable at all :( I'm feeling isolated I have epilepsy so can't drive and dd hates buses! I don't mind walking and often walk miles with her in the buggy to get us out and about but everyday tasks such as shopping are a nightmare and I can't stay in a coffee shop with a friend for coffee as madam kicks off. We are having portage assessment soon so I'm hoping we will be given it as I'm sure it will help. I will look into this ABA thing is there a book on it I can buy somewhere?? I have good friends around me that are used to dd screaming at them and my family live 5 hours away so fingers crosse portage will come through

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