Teaching Assistant and other parents resentment

[spearhead]

Hello, my DS has mild Aspergers and struggles mainly at school. So funding has been arranged (whilst a statement is got), for 20 hrs 1-1 a week. His behaviour has been great, his work has improved and he is now working at the correct level. So happy all round - or so we thought. Today another mother informed me that the children are cross my son gets special attention and other mothers (her included I now know) constantly badger the teacher for reasons as to why their children are being left out whilst my son gets special treatment. To be honest I am so upset now, just when things are going right for my son, the playground bitchiness kicks in and we are made to feel in the wrong.
The school want to tell the parents exactly what is wrong with my son, and the reasons for his TA - I don't want this because of various reasons, one being it is frankly none of their business and they should leave me to bring up my son and concentrate on their own children.
Has anyone else come across this issue and how did you deal with it please.

DH, the dog (which I haven't yet talked hm into), my cat Tallulah.

Oh and Micheal Sheen....Welsh actor. Cause I loved him in the film "Dirty Filthy Love" all about OCD/Tourettes. Saw it years ago and found it hilarious in a sad way. It's not so funny now, though!!

And a conveyor belt.

Went to Morrisons this morning (briefly) with ds as he's off school due to stress. He's is fascinated by conveyor belts of any description and spent 20 minutes moving a little wooden brick along it's length. The staff were fine with it, no problem but you should have seen the punters.....tut tut tutting and shaking their heads and looking at me (sat down 3 feet away from him watching). The till wasn't in use, but the belt was still moving.

I heard a sour looking woman say to her companion "shouldn't that child be in school?" He's 10yrs. I didn't have the energy or inclination to say anything as it was the most "at peace" I'd seen him, in a week.

Well done I would probably have had to say something and it wouldn't have ended well!

Hope the rest of your day goes better, I was planning on going down to the hardest hit march but haven't been able to get there, good luck to everyone that has.

Oh God yes! Thanks to all those who marched. x

I can see both sides of it. My son was diagnosed with autism a few months into his time at nursery (he's going up to reception in September). I didnt tell any of the other mums at first for a variety of reasons. I didn't really know them particularly well, I don't live on any of the main estates that cover the school & I'm not really part of the mum gang. I'd had a meeting with my sons teacher, salt therapist & 1:1 worker & was just coming out when I bumped into one of the mums I knew from playgroup. She asked what I was up to & though it crossed my mind make up a fib I just told her the truth. Turns out her brother had some learning difficulties and we a good chat about the whole thing.

Good thing is that although she's not a gossip she is a bit of a busybody in the nicest sense of the word. She's quite in with all the other mums too so if anyone does have a bit of a bitch or a moan saying that my sons been blowing raspberries in someone face they're more likely to do it her than me & she can explain the situation.

Also one of the other mums came up to me & told me that her son was also autistic & we had a right good chat. She's now on the parent/teacher board at the school & is trying to set up a support group for parents.

Autism is so much more common now. If you tell people your kid has autism they don't recoil but more say "ahh I see". DS is our only child so his little quirks seem normal to us but I can see now how much he sticks out.

Apologies for length, hope this helps.

It's bad enough when mums do this kind of thing but I work in a specialist unit in a mainstream school and we get these kind of comments from some of our class teachers.

"Well all our kids would make that kind of progress if we only had 4 in our class/ 1-1 support."

We don't have a dx yet but ds gets input from, play therapy, physio and social group. He doesn't have his own ta. or support on the playground. I am confused about the 1-2-1 and statement.

In ds Y2 class their are thirty children they have 1 class ta and two boys have a full time 1-2-1 each, including break and lunch times. I have no idea about one boy, but I know the other is definately not statemented.