selective mutism

[lucky4]

Just wondering if any of you have come across this?My ds is 8 and has been silent since starting nursery.He was only diagnosed 2 years ago,he speaks at home and to people not associated with school most of the time,although he would be reserved and sometimes it would be one word answers.
He has a severe speech disorder also and sees a speech therapist although she has been on maternity leave for 6 months now and hasnt seen anyone in her absence so waiting to start again with her in the next month or so.He was referred to a child psycholigist to talk about his feelings but as he doesnt talk to her it is all drawn and written down,he hasnt seen her for a while now as last 2 appointments she cancelled so waiting to be contacted..bit of a nightmare,I know money is tight but I feel he is not getting the help required.He has also just had his first session with a occupational therapist,he doesnt talk to her either.
He has friends at school but has been bullied a bit,of course the advantage is he cant tell on them..have spoke to the teacher though and teachers over the last few years who just simply dont understand,some better than others but they have never seen it before,not living in the uk but feel it would be dealt better with at home.
He tries to avoid the subject when I bring it up,he just says he will never speak at school.Discussed sending him to another school but he doesnt want this and the professionals were split on this idea.Just really stuck as what else can be done,teacher has said it is stubborness!!now come on!as I said they dont understand.I dont know what else I can do to help him,worry about how he will go into secondary school like this.
He is avery happy,smiley,loving and bright child,no problems with learning he takes it all in but of course he doesnt read at school so hinders him alittle bit.
Basically just thought I would see if anyone out there know anything about this,worth a try.Thanks for reading!

Haven't got any specialism in this area but I can tell you of a success story of a child I had a few years back in school, who was "selectively mute" in a similar way. Gradually, in Year 3, she began to speak in certain circumstances, building on it until by Year 6 she would volunteer for speaking parts in assemblies.
Hope someone else will be along in a moment to tell you how that can happen. I can only tell you that it did.
Good luck.

Thanks for that clam,gives me a bit of hope!

Lucky4, have you been in touch with SMIRA? The Selective Mutism Information & Research Association, www.selectivemutism.co.uk They are the UK charity that deals with SM and can send you out an information pack. You also need to get hold of the Selective Mutism Resource Manual written by Maggie Johnson and Alison Wintgens. Then read it cover to cover, and you will find out everything you need to know about how to help your son. It is not too late, my daughter is 9 and has SM and is making slow but certain progress. You really do need a lot more intervention with your son. In a nutshell, he needs to face the feared situations, but only tiny step by tiny step, so that he is not facing too much anxiety to deal with at once.

One of the best things you can do is to invite his friends round for play times - he will be much more confident in his own surroundings and you will be there to make sure no bullying happens. Make it one friend at a time so they have to interact, and maybe help them along with some physical activity, to release the physical tension and to have some fun. Providing a balloon to knock about between them is a good one!

And the final thing I would say is don't rely on professionals to make it happen. Nobody is more concerned about your son than you, and although he won't make a fuss, you can. Nobody is likely to provide the level of service you need unless you push and make it happen. You need to be his voice while he cannot be. Good luck!

There is someone is DSs school with selective mutism. Not DS year so don't know her, but apparently she is now in year1 and has over the last couple of months started saying odd words to people in school, before this no-one in school had heard her voice, although as soon as she left the school gate with her parents she chatted non-stop.

There was an interesting show on the tv about it a while ago, probably bbc, where they showed lots of different children/teenagers with selective mutism, showed the therapy they received and how they improved. Was fascinated as one teenager changed schools and started talking at the new school but still couldn't talk to anybody from her old school. She told the interviewer a lot about how she felt and why she couldn't talk etc.

Thanks for replies...bless...thanks for info,have read couple books which helped a little.We have a friend round once a week,often watch him when he is unaware,interesting how he commumicates.He will point to things,make gestures and write things down when his friend doesnt understand.
He loves being active and will tend to play alot of ball games.
He has one lad a year below him at school who he talks to out of school,this is only because he is a neighbour and he played with him before he ever went to school therefore he didnt associate him with school.If he has a friend over from school though and this lad calls he will remain mute.
Littlemiss...Nice to know there are other kids with this and it exists..no one knows of anyone here with it so can feel a bit isolated.My ds will not speak anywhere near school gates incase he was heard,we have to be near home before he will speak very quietly.
Will look up that website.

My nephew was like this . He never spoke at school to any of the teachers or the kids, wouldn't even answer the register and my sister had to tape him reading aloud his school book to her at home. He was ok at home with certain people; he would speak to my DH and kids but not to me.
When he was about 7 or 8 there was aprogramme on TV about it that spurred my sister to get some professional help; I think she got her GP to refer her to someone. Basically she followed a very long program which started off with her going in to school for some time every day and playing with him, on their own, in a separate room to everyone else. Initially he wouldn't even speak to my sister in a school setting, gradually he started whispering. After a few months the teacher would walk past the open door while they were chatting and gradually things improved.
My sister was very sceptical about all this working and progress was quite slow and often stalled for long periods of time but she stuck with it. I think the school were quite supportive as well.
My nephew is now 10 and a normally chatty little boy. He performs in school plays and concerts; he even speaks to me. There are programs out there that work OP. Keep on pushing until you get the help you need.