Is my DS just slow at learning or is there some underlying problem that no one has picked up on?

[Chocamochalatte]

DS (DT1) is 3 years behind with his learning. He is 10 and in yr 5.

He is getting additional help at school and has recently moved from School Action Plan to Action Plan Plus.

He is generally well behaved, however if things aren't going his way or you ask him to do something he doesn't want to he has what only can be described as a strop.

He cries, he won't do what you ask him, but the main part is that I end having to be careful what I say to him. For example if I said he was behaving like a two year old he would take that as I was saying he was a two year old. He takes everything literally. He can not be talked around. I start off really calm and just talking to him but it always ends up in a fight with him. He can't / won't listen to reason.

Is this just normal behaviour? DT2 is completely different, I can reason with him (although don't ask about the back chatting he's started!) he is far more mature.

Hi Choca. I really couldn't say from what you've described. But I remember he's quite different from his id twin, isn't he? Hopefully someone will have more knowledge. I'd say list all your concerns, have a look back at his milestones, walking, talking etc and go to your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paed.

I would presume if he's 3 years behind in his learning that there is an underlying problem. Absolutely. Unless he has a dx of 'moderate learning difficulties' I would assume that there is def something more that can be done to help him.

The hard thing is knowing what.

Can he read and write? Has he been seen by an Ed Psych? What are schools concerns about him? Why is he on school action / school action plus?

School action plus means there is some external agency involved with him. Which one?

School can't and don't dx. So he could have absolutely any SN.

Thanks for your replies. What type of outside agencies would be involved? I started another thread last week which is when it was discovered how far behind he is. Had no diagnosis, he can read and write just not to the level he should be. He has been tested for Dyslexia twice and come back negative.

So, am I right in thinking the best thing to do would be to speak our GP? I assume I would go by myself the first time?

I really appreciate your advise so thank you.

Educational psychologist (EP) probably. Speech therapists (SALT)occupational therapists (OT) specific DX (like ASD) advisory teachers. For your DS1 it would be an EP, I expect, as there's no specific problem that you know about.

I'd go to your GP yourself in parallel to anything the school is doing, as they won't know if there's anything medical. You probably won't have to take DS.

I vaguely remember that thread. Was he tested for Dyslexia by the SENCO or the EP?

I think he needs to be tested for dyslexia by the school EP.

I personally think he needs the school EP not a private one, because if the school initiate it then they will listen to it, and also by getting him on the list to the EP they are acknowledged they think he has probs.

You can go private. Cost about £400. But school don't have to follow the recommendations......

That would be my starting advice. To make an appt with the SENCO. Say that you are still extremely concerned about him, and what do they think he needs and can he be seen by the EP.

Then come back here and tell us what the SENCO said and we'll come up with some more advice

Chocamochalatte, my son is 10 years old and is currently approx 4-5 years behind his peers (in most things), he has poor auditory memory s&l problems and this effects his reading and writing. He has been under SA+ since he started school and he see's a SLT. He is very well behaved but like your child he takes everything literally, you can not joke with him and when you do he goes into a strop, so I understand what you are going through. I am having to get the EP involved again as his progress has been very slow. I would suggest at least getting the EP involved. We have never had a proper DX, just he has poor auditory memory. You have to push everything though, my son's school isn't that proactive I am the one asking for the EP, paed referal etc chasing the appointments, weeks on I am still chasing the appointments grrrr.

Good luck with everything

It may be a silly question but has he had his eyes tested?

Catrinm - it's only a silly question because having your eyes tested by an optician or your ears tested by an audiologist don't pick up most vision and hearing problems that cause learning difficulties :(

(You need your eyes tested by a behaviour optometrist to rule out underlying vision problems, and your hearing tested at the sound learning centre to rule out hearing issues)

That's interesting Indigo, I've never heard of them before... He does have glasses to wear, currently mislaid (!) he hates wearing them, it's just one of his eyes that is not quite as good as the other...

Nickminiink, it's good to hear from someone who can relate to me (us) Am definitely going to speak to the doctor.

The hours 1:1 help everey day that I was told about has mysteriously changed to an hour a week

My son currently 9 years old is also 3 years behind when it comes to his reading and writing. The first port of call for me was to kick up a stink with GP, who refered me to pead at hospital. My son then was assesed at hearing clinic and he too wears glasses(1 lazy eye). Like your son my son also has a tendensy to overreact and throw what i call a strop. My son was on school action plus at school and only having 1:1 help i lesson once a week, until i decided i could home educate him myself to relieve anxiety and give him the support he truly needs.He is currently awaiting an appointment from camhs for aspergers syndrome but ultimatley they are going to see if he is on the autistic spectrum. My son looks to everyone like a normal healthy child but only when talking to the pead at the hospital about his personality quirks( i always thought that was just normal for him) did she suggest he be tested for aspergers.I find it helpful to keep a diary of behaviour and other things that are unusual as the more information you have the more of a responce you get.Hope this helps