Threat of exclusion

[Justunbelievable]

Ds (suspected AS) has had lots of difficulties but I obtained sm a few months ago so he could have more support. Just prior to sm being agreed HT excluded ds after an incident which I feel could have been avoided if correct support was in place. I was concerned that once he had been excluded HT would feel she had 'carte blanche' to do it again. In the last few months when he has had further problems she has 'threatened' to exclude again which has obviously made him more distressed than usual. There was another incident this week with the other dc's in class bullying and been generally unkind to ds (a regular occurence). He came out of school in floods of tears and went into school the next day and sat outside his class crying and refusing to go in. HT then shouted at him for 'refusing to follow a simple instruction' and said 'if you don't go into class you know what I will have to do'. I then had a call stating how difficult he was being - not sure what she expected me to do about it. I certainly was not going to go in to collect him! I pointed out that his LSA was about to start work for the day and perhaps ds could have a chat in a quiet area and be allowed time to calm down. Ds spent most of day out of class with LSA but had no further issues. I am really annoyed about this and feel that there are surely better ways of dealing with this without resorting to threats

It sounds like they haven't got a clue about how to manage kids with AS. Or the Head hasn't.

Why don't you ask for a meeting with all those involved with your son - if he has had a statement issued, with all those involved in the statement - to get a proper care plan organised, so that they know how to try to best manage him.

You may have to be very assertive to get your son what he needs.

We have had numerous meetings following on from complaints we have raised previously. Am told that all staff are trained etc.etc. Initially was told that the programmes of support specified on sm could not be supplied until after Sats so have already had battles to get this in place. Ds's last year there so only has a few more months and would rather not move him but can't have him dreading school daily. They had always been supportive until his problems seemed to have worsened and then they found things difficult!

Oh dear.

If he is in Y6, then maybe he and everyone else is feeling the stress of the bloody SAT's and that is making them less tolerant and him more stressed, etc.

Could they put in a plan whereby an adult (preferably his TA) meets him before the line goes in in the morning and take him for a qiet 5min chat while the class settle and then into class?

I don't think an exclusion based on refusing to go into class because he was upset would stand up to scrutiny.

Thanks Tilly. LSA doesn't start until around 9.30 and other staff are usually too busy to help (have been told they are spending too much time on him).

Yes, but it might be worth it to get him settled, at least until the SAT's are out of the way.

I would pursue it

Could he start at 9.30 for a few weeks when the TA starts? Better miss 1/2 hour in the mornings than miss the whole day due to a meltdown? I expect TA will not be able to start earlier if she/he has their own children.

My son was permanently excluded at 6 so I've been where you are. My advice is to move him asap as I've discovered a HT like this will never admit fault. Your child is being naughty is a perception you won't be able to change. The damage the HT's behavior could cause is incalculable.

The LEA will close ranks around you if you take any complaints too far, (why I've not sued the school staff for physical assault on my son).

You might be better off going for home ed or a unit until year 7, before his anxiety gets so bad it takes months to sort out & wrecks his secondary induction. Sometimes the best way to fight the battle is simply to withdraw until another day. Use the time to liase with the secondary and ensure he gets off to the best possible start next year.

Sounds like theHead DS had at Junior School. Dreadful. Wanted a school of "nice" children and had no time for those who didn't conform.
This Head's attitude will be compounding the problem for your DS.
Have you contacted the Ed Psych?The school obviously need help with strategies to use.

The trouble is that in a primary school the Head's attitude risks being pervasive amongst the rest of the staff. Especially at a time like this when redundancies/ reduced hours may be in the works due to the cuts. (My lot had a rebellious streak for which I am so grateful).

Contacting the lea and saying you are keeping him home to avoid exclusion might work? Calling her bluff so to speak? Taking him at 9.30 otherwise seems the best solution if you can get the HT to agree.

May will be lost educationally due to SATS, and then it's only 8 weeks till the holidays and a change of school anyway. There are lots of things you can do, from complain to the lea and governors to contacting the ed pysch, but will there be time to affect any difference, being totally realistic as I've never met the HT?

Your poor DS

If your DS is particularly struggling at going in classroom then perhaps the school need to consider changing the LSA's hours/providing cover for that time. Granted his statement may not cover full hours but they need to use the hours they have got in the most appropriate way. A better start to the day would probably mean that he wouldn't need as much support during the remainder of the day IYKWIM. What is your LA SEN dept like? When I was having trouble with my DS1's school despite the statement, the LA were really supportive (which surprised me greatly!). So I would suggest the first thing LSA support to the school and if no joy ring the LA.

He still has four months to get through, so something needs to be done bochead. I know what you mean, but she can't really sit back and do nothing. My DS wasn't facing exclusion, but even now at 16 when he sees the Primary Head go by in the car he is full of anger and bitterness about what happened.This is despite having been at a secondary that has helped him tremendously.

Thanks all. He can't really go to school for 9.30 as I have to be at work for 9am and dh works an early shift.TA does have own children to take to school so cannot start earlier.
Polar - think I am in same LA as you so could try case worker/EP as they have been quite helpful in the past. Have considered moving him in the past as he has no friends and has the bullying problem but will it be hard going to a new school for 1 term? Sm does not actually name the Junior school,only secondary,so presumaby it does not need re-writing? We do have a couple of other schools not too far away.........

shouldnt they employ one (silly MNr here lol) that CAN flipping well start at 9 god so simple to cure there must be a TA who could swap with her already in school, so yr poor ds has his TA right away in the mornings( was she emplyed esp for him?) or do they have a early exercise morning session my ds's school had this so he could spend half hour doing exercise before starting or maybe give him an extra playtime at begining of the day for all the dcs with as, asd and adhd he has had this before too as it knackers them physically and then they concentrate a bit better when its heads down when his TA does come in, probably all no good but some schools do do this early morning exercise/extra playtime as if hes already upset hes not going to get much work done when she does come inthis way hes losing half hour yes but better that than half the day

Ah the penny has dropped! The LA SEN team were all for getting involved when I was having problems with DS1's school so I do think they will do all they could. Also Families in Focus Essex run a support service so worth calling them if you are feeling like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Re moving him, it does sound like his last term at current school isn't going to be great, maybe a move to somewhere where he will be viewed with fresh eyes would be good for his self-esteem.

I agree it sounds off that the LSA's childcare arrangements are trumping your DS's needs - fair enough this LSA can't start til 9.30am but it really sounds like the school need to make some kind of provision for your DS.

Hope you manage to get something sorted.

Hi Polar
After having him come home unhappy every day with tears every night I have now had enough. He now feels class teacher is picking on him as well as all the children there! That may not be the case (hope not) but it is severely affecting his self-esteem and his health. Have e-mailed LA case-worker stating my concerns and asking how easy it would be to move. I know it's only another term but none of us need this daily stress! Agree with your comment about fressh eyes. He is going to a secondary school where no-one will know him in the hope of a fresh start.

We are also on the countdown for Secondary school, 4 months and counting! We too have had nothing but problems with ds's school.What it all boils down to is ignorance! Because the school havent got a clue and cant manage ds 'challenging behaviour' the LEA have decided to name a school for behavioural issues, not on your nelly will ds be going to that school. Sounds like justunbelievable, that you are facing the same problems as ourselves.We are having to go to tribunal to try and get him into the school of our choice and not the SENs choice who are just taking the word of the school and also from reports that are 6 yrs old.It sounds to me as if you could be describing my ds's HT, a waste of space.

Showers, we have a support thread going on over on SN education for all of us flapping about secondary in Sept. There's quite a few of us on the same boat and there's been lots of good practice shared. Come and join us....

Not sure what school year OP's DC is in but, as an SEN teacher, I offer one crucial piece of advice: if your child is struggling in primary, then mainstream secondary may not be the best next step.

I struggle to teach many Yr 9 / 10 children whose mums / parents / carers fought valiantly to keep them in mainstream (ratio 1:30); but if they had chosen our (EBD) school (ratio 1:8) 2 years ago, then their long-term prospects would have been much brighter because of the more personalised care they could have been given.

What counts is where your DCs end up, not how they get there...

The trouble with that is that ebd school is not always the answer. When I enquired about my lea's ebd school after getting thru 2 primaries in 2 years all the advice was that my son would be eaten alive!

Generally hf asd + ebd is the wrong fit, yet many kids are too bright for ASD ss and yet can't cope in mainstream - it's a nightmare! ASD kids need good peer role models and ebd schools can't provide this - one of the many reasons I was given by professionals. There is a real gap in current provision for some sen children.

In addition there are still huge delays in diagnosis which prevents many children from getting intervention at a reasonable age. I don't blame the education system for my son's failure to progress academically, (though his treatment at the hands of his last HT was nothing short of diabolical). It took 2.5 years for him to reach the top of the list to be seen at the CDC, and my case sadly is not unusual .

Teachers do need to know what they are dealing with, so that they can implement appropriate strategies. For some children this knowledge comes far too late, when school related anxiety has become embedded. Teacher training for ordinary primary teachers is also woefully inadequate, considering the sheer range of childhood, illnesses, disorders and disabilities they are expected to cope with.

Millie. I've got to agree with bochead. I'm sure your EBD school is doing a fab job, but it's not the right place for children with ASD.

I don't think EBD school would be best option for ds either. Most of the difficulties are caused when other dc's are 'winding him up' knowing that he will over-react and then get punished. School have ben repeatedly advised that if early intervention is in place these incidents wouldn't escalate. HT has even admitted that some observations were made recently and other kids were seen to be doing this and that they would 'be keeping an eye on it'. He has been going through this for years however and does need some help in realising that children will do this and learn how to pre-empt his feelings before getting out of hand.This is all the sort of help he should be getting as well as improving his self-esteem (all mentioned on sm). He has already said to me this morning that he can't go into school tomorrow because everyone is so mean to him (including class teacher) so that will be something to look forward to!

Just, this school sounds like a lost cause to me. Can you survive until Sept? It seems wrong to move a child who probably struggles with transitions twice within a few months. You need concentrate on getting a good transition plan in place for the secondary school, you shouldn't have to be worrying about his last term in this god awful primary.

Not that you shouldn't do your best to make the last term bearable for your DS, but in reality, they won't change much now. If you are working the HE isn't going to be an option, so it's just damage limitation.

As I said to showers, we have a support thread on SN children for this Sept's transitions to secondary, which may be of interest. Best of luck.