omg what now

[MADABOUTTHEBOY2000]

long story but because there was nowhere for my DS he was sent to a SS he has ASD,EBD, and possible ADHD we are waiting for the final statement the proposed one comes nothing quantified but PP say thats ok as it says they applied for a place at the SS hes at now, HT rings me to say (wont say over phone) hes not suitable for there, they dont want him he has failed at all MS schools this was my last hope he had a hometutor for a bit they stopped that was left for half term with no teaching whatsoever now they want to move him again he was already self harming he has now stopped because hes happy at this school for first time ever im scared what he will do to himself, ive been crying my eyes out i feel i want to give up , i cant home tutor he will miss out on all the skills he needs and he doesnt work for mehe has no friends and has just made his first friend ever at this school im dying inside

I second what smiley said. Don't assume that your son has to move. It is not the head's decision it is the LA who decide the school and you have a say too.

Contact your local parent partnership and also IPSEA and SOSSEN although it's hard to get hold of them.

Don't allow them to remove your son from that school unless it is to somewhere which you feel can meet his needs more effectively.

Agree with justa and ali, the lea need to know what ht has said asap, they may not be best pleased ht has said this and get some advice from pp, and ipsea or sos sen

It's not up to the head teacher. It's up to the LA. If he isn't suitable for MS and isn't suitable for SS, then the LA will probably have to stump up the funds for a private residential school which might sound scary but almost NEVER happens without the parents fighting for it, so the most likely outcome is the LA will tell the HT where he is now to keep him or try to make a case for him to attend MS, which should be 'fairly' easy to argue against.

Sometimes HTs argue against a child for the purpose of trying to get the LA to give them more money. The cowardly ones try to do it via the parents.

ive just received the proposed statement and it actually says that they are leaving it up to the HT and that they have requested a place for him then when i spoke to the HT he says no he wont be giving him a permanent place hes happy for the first time in his life and only been there a month they said they had decided it wasnt right for him, he was bullied so much at all his prev schools now first time ever hes comming out saying he had sometimes a ok day sometimes like today a thumbs up day and talking about two boys hes made friends with , he has had some bad days too dont get me wrong but previouly he had a bad day every day, if they dont let him stay he will start self harming again or worse, im terrified ive only got a week left to sent the statement back and my key worker at LEA is away i feel so depressed i thought it was almost all over and now they want to ruin everything and start again i cant take it and neither can DS its taken 8 years (hes 10 now) to get here

Bloody hell, Mad. That's awful. Has the bloody HT said why he doesn't think it's a suitable placement? What are the alternatives? You can't go on keeping him home. The LA must find him a place, I can't believe they're putting you and your DS through all this. Do you have anyone locally who can help? Are PP any good, have you tried the charities like sossen? We're routing for you.

ive pp helping me but were running out of alternatives the HT says his EBD is too bad they cant help him i thought that was what they were supposed to do, he has no alternative in mind either got to wait for a multi agency meeting to see what they can suggest but the bit that scares me is when i finally have to tell him what he will do, ill let you know when had the meeting i dont suppose that will be until after the easter break now

BUMP

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time, Mad. If your DS's behaviour is too challenging for the school, there must be other schools which take DC with ASD and EBD. An ordinary EBD school wouldn't be appropriate, would it? Your DS needs ASD experts as it's probably the ASD that's causing the behaviour. If there's nothing local to you would the LA consider out of area residential? Or does residential seem too extreme. There are Mon - Fri residential ASD schools. Someone else may have more info/ideas.

i agree i think he needs a school for both ASD and EBD now their is another problem Ellenjane1 there is only one school slightly out of my area but they are ASD and EBD , they take kids from my area but they are making excuses as to why not because its an independant and costs £50,000 pa and £70.000 pa boarding, they have said (i dont believe the LEA about this) that they still exclude pupils he has had no treatment yet or therapy i just dont think the school hes at have done anything or tried any options yet to just give upthey are trying to get me to send him to an EBD only school im not budging

No, EBD only is not suitable. Hopefully someone will have some evidence to back that up. Sorry can't help much, Mad.