Hello @Moomoomie,
I have direct experience. My adopted daughter has FASD, she is turning 6 in September. At age 4 we went to see a Geneticist (privately) who specialises in birth disorders. He was able to do a physical examination to look at my daughter's features, also through him we did a clinical assessment looking at behaviour, and we had a CG Array blood test done, which has shown that she is missing DNA. We are trying to get the birth parents tested, but so far only birth mum has agreed.
I became very ill fighting at every stage to get someone (anyone) to listen to me and help me get a diagnosis. SEND Partnership should be able to give you advice on what to do and where to access what as you move forward getting the right support. The best, most dynamic person on our team was the SENCo at nursery.
The Adoption Support Fund has not been very helpful and there isn't an awful lot of support they can offer. That said, through our NHS Community Paediatrician, we have 7 specialists working with us on all aspects of my daughter's disability—from sensory disorder (OT), to behaviour, learning difficulties, attachment problems, speech & language, the genetics and a paediatrician trying to address her hyperactivity.
Also when you fill in forms please write ADOPTED CHILD big in red at the top of the form so that your form gets fast-tracked. Adoptive families can be under so much more pressure than birth families, due to the additional problems such as attachment disorder, and trauma & abuse suffered by the child before being adopted. Also if the adoption breaks down due to parents not being able to cope this is a DISASTROUS situation for a child. So don't let anyone make you think that you are the same as a birth family. Adopters and adoptive children are exposed to tons of extra emotional pressure & trauma!
I wish you only good in a very hard situation. And please feel free to ask me any questions. I would be happy to share anything about our journey if it might help. x