Help! Child with learning difficulties refuses to walk home

[goldenglow90]

I am a carer for a child with learning difficulties. He is 10 and does not have a wide range of vocabulary so if he can't communicate what he wants verbally, he will sign or use actions, such as taking my hand and directing me or if he is tired he will suggest to me that he wants carrying. The issues I am having at the moment are getting him home after a session with him. My job is to take him out to give him and his family a break from each other, so I often take him swimming or to the park since this is what he enjoys. He really enjoys this but every time it it time to go home, he lies down on the ground and kicks his shoes off. Baring in mind he is a 10 year old, he is not easy to lift and he wriggles around and rolls over to stop me getting him back up again. My main concern here is that he hurts himself or rolls into the road (he has no road awareness at all and needs to hold hands when he is walking along streets). I have tried to distract him with snacks, singing songs, etc and nothing seems to work. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on this?

try a bribe lol.....when you pick him up give parents a small gift for him and say when he gets home he can open it wrap it in some shiney paper and make it special. gift might only be a few sweets but it might work. when it's time to go home you could say lets go and get your present and make a big thing of it etc i can't wait to see you open your present i wonder what it is etc, might work but anything is worth trying

I would also ask the parents how they deal with it, (as it is likely an issue for them at times too.) I also wanted to check you had some way of preparing him for the end of the activity, so it doesn't come as a surprise...

i wonder if his legs and feet hurt when hes tired, apparently quite common others know more as he cant communicate well perhaps he cant really say, my ds is complaining his ankles hurt and his feet hes only just started explaining it but did used to do that when he was a bit younger , something i think i might have to get checked out

If you are in London, does he have a Taxicard? If not, ask his parents to apply for one, then you can use it as a last resort as its obviously better to get him to walk. The poor thing is obviously tired and has finished his activity so just wants to be home. Are there any shops or landmarks along the way? You could use the prospect of stopping in a shop to get something he likes as a "bribe". Also do you have any pictures to show him the sequence needed to follow to get home and what delights await him when he gets there, e.g. his tea and the great idea of a surprise to open. I think you'd need a picture to remind him about the present that is waiting if you decide to do that.

You must talk to the parents and get their advice if you haven't already. Do they have a wheelchair for their son?

I'm with Davros - would also try visual supports / pictures if he responds well to that. And chat to the parents and make sure that it's not just tiredness on his part.

Maybe he's having a lovely time and doesnt want to go home?!

If this is the case how about a picture story of your outing, including taking him home again afterwards, to make things very clear and get him to accept the order of events?

Also countdown towards leaving time - eg 5 minute/4 minute/3minute etc warnings?

We find making the order of events crystal clear, and pointing out what might seem obvious from the outset, (eg 'we will be coming home again') really helps if you use it consistently and calmly.

Good luck!

Thanks for all your messages. I tried bribes, that really does not work as he only thinks in the present (for example, as soon as I pick him up in the morning he asks for his banana from his lunchbox and I say that he can have it when he gets to the park, swimming pool, etc, and he says okay, but by the time we have gotten there he has forgotten all about it) I tried offering him a chocolate bar or something when we get home and he says okay, walkks like 2 steps then lies down again. I think it could be a mixture of tiredness and the fact that he does not want to go home, he comes from a large family so probably doesn't get the same attention at home. When he is tired though he tends to just lie there, not moving, whereas other times he wriggles and shouts (im sorry!) as if saying sorry makes it okay for him to misbehave.

I have spoken to his parents time and time again but they do not have the same problem as they drive him everywhere or his dad (who is a lot stronger than me) carries him. He does not have a wheelchair, there are no medical reasons why he can't manage to walk home (it is only a 5-10 minute walk) and a taxi is not an option as his parents refuse to pay for one.

The idea of making a picture story sounds like a good idea though, as maybe he doesn't understand why he has to go home at a particular time or after that activity.

You may be right about him not wanting to go home because he comes from a big family...but you may be completely wrong. Keep an open mind. I get a bit peeved about negative assumptions made by workers; I won't got into details, but I have had a loooong battle with DS's school to recognise that some of things he does are NOT down to bad parenting choices!

Quite a few children with behavioural problems but good physical mobility have wheelchairs for these sort of occasions. You don't have to be physically disabled. However, there are lots of other good ideas on here to try so good luck!