Swimming

[Rockmaiden]

Really need advice over an issue with swimming.

My son is nearly 7 and suffers from Autism, ADHD and GDD. He is completely non-verbal although to look at him looks perfectly normal.

I go swimming on a weekly basis with my older daughter and my son.
Today I was challenged in the changing rooms and told my son should not be in the woman's changing rooms as he is too old and he stares inappropriately at other changes. To be fair he does do this which is why I always take him into a changing cubicle as opposed to the communal area and try and divert his attention as much as possible from the other changers.

I go swimming alone but my partner is also female so even if she were to come he would still have to use the woman's rooms as he would not be safe in the men's alone. He has previously at this pool broke away from me and jumped into the pool fully clothed - he cannot swim and had to be pulled out by a member of the public.

What can I do?

I explianed to the staff member who challenged me about his conditions but they explained there is no exceptions and that any child over 6 must change in the appropriate rooms. Only other swimming pool is 20 minutes drive away and would be impossible due to time restrictions.

Looks like we can't go swimming anymore which is a shame. Does anyone else have this issue and how did you get around it?

I'd say that there is a disability discrimination here and also sex discrimination as a girl of his age would be allowed to go in with you. The onus is on them to take reasonable measures to accomodate people with disabilities and a blanket rule such as this does nothing of the sort.
I would write to the manager of the pool, expalining your situation and asking them waht they are going to do about it before you take it further.

Do they not have a 'Disabled' changing room? Most definitely discrimination if they haven't. How would anyone who needs help to change be able to access the pool?

I thought the rule was under 8's could go in either changing room.

This was done massively not long ago on AIBU.

It is discrimination and I think the pool have to offer somewhere where you can change together.

My local pool has put its family/disabled changing rooms on the pool side in a neutral place.

Go and see the manager at the pool.

Please don't stop going swimming, it is a life skill. If your pool won't cater for your son go somewhere that will and contact the council.

Good luck.

They do have disabled changing rooms, 1 in the males and 1 in the females.
This is what I try and use if not in use by mums and babies as it is also the baby changing room but even so it is in the female section where he is not allowed.

It used to be 8 years at this pool also but lowered to 6 a while ago, the reason for pulling me up was as someone complained and they felt they had to do something.

I will try writing to them as it would be a shame to stop.

A male member of staff supervising would not work as my son is very fearfull of strangers approaching him and he needs physically dressing which can often result in arms and legs flying around if clothing isn't put on in the right order and underwear inside out etc.

It's bonkers rockmaiden, who on earth would send a 6 year old with or with sn in to a changing room on their own!!

I think you are going to have to challenge this.

Go in the chaps disabled changing room with him. See what they say then.

Explain in a letter the following key points of the Disability Discrimination Act:

• Any business or service to the public must take all reasonable steps to ensure equal access to their service for the disabled

• In this case, he cannot go alone into the men's as it would present a health and safety hazard (he is not safe alone, particularly near to water and cannot cope with is own self care needs)

• Therefore if there is no disabled changing room available (and it shouldn't be teamed with the baby changing) then you should have access to something like the staff changing room, or the school changing room

• start nice and say you very much hope this can be resolved, but that you do have legal contacts (me!) who are itching tot take this issue up as a test case under the Disablity Discrimination Act

• Also threatening the local paper are interested can help focus their minds.

Don't take it - because autism is the invisible disability, they get this stuff wrong in a way that they would not dare to if the child was more obviously disabled (or maybe they still would discrminate there too)

I always find that a charming manner, but firm words , is a good combo.

I recently started taking my 8 year old in to the disabled changing room , just so that no bloody Boden mum could ever complain about his being in the ladies' so I do know how you feel!

Good luck!

zzzz... I am loving the tent suggestion.

Loving the tent suggestion also :)

I may just let him change in the reception area, considering he is at present very proud of his penis and likes to show to anyone who passes by I am sure they would soon usher us off somewhere else lol.

Will write the letter and take it in tomorrow, fantastic idea's sickofsocalledexperts, you sound like you have a lot of experiance arguing idiots over situations like this.

Even an sending an NT child on their own into a changing room would be an issue for me. What aobut child protection? Surely an environment where people are taking their clothes off, children and adilts leaves more room for inappropriate behaviour if a child has no-one to look out for them?? xx

The changing room at our local pool is for both men and women together. They have rows of changing cubicles next to each row of lockers for anyone to use (different size cubicles available) and then shared showers and toilets branching off for separate use. Initially I was a bit surprised by is, but I like that DH & I can bring both our 4yo and 1yo in together, go into a large family changing cubicle, and not worry about the whole "who takes what child into which changing room" debacle.