What to say to school nurse

[Sops]

Earlier this week we had a meeting with ds's class teacher, head and senco.
We have some concerns over his behaviour but they said ATM there is not enough effect on his academic achievement to refer him to be assessed by Ed psych. They are going to do some more detailed observations and see how he gets on.
In the meantime they have asked me to see the school nurse. I have appt with her tomorrow, question is, what should I say to her? Ds doesnt have any physical health issues to discuss with her, so what can I say?

Has his hearing and eyesight been checked recently ? Maybe do a food diary

You say what has happened up til now and that the school have asked you to see her. Then you stop talking. If the school has expressed any concerns to her themselves I guess she'll tell you. Our school nurse is good at making sure referrals get done quickly and everyone who should know what's going on does know so yours might do that for you and possibly suggest other routes to go to get him assessed.

If you are worried about his behaviour that is reason to ask her to push for the Ed Psych to be honest. Academic acheivement is no indicator of behaviour - some disruptive children can excel academically, some totally compliant and follow the rules types can struggle - with a whole range of in betweens. The fact the school are involved at all with his behaviour means his case should be taken seriously and the right help obtained - ie EP assessment to find out where some of the problem areas are first. I would start to be a pushy parent and tell the nurse that you considered what was said previously by the school but that you are not prepared to accept no for an answer here.

My thought about behaviour not affecting learning was that social and emotional skills are fundamental to all learning.
Also social & behavioural learning is part of early years framework and he will be scored on it at end of year.
There is a possibility that although he might be doing 'well enough' he may still not be fulfilling his potential.

As far as I can see on the early years criteria he will prob only score a 3 or 4 on social and emotional, no where near 6.
Tbh, I think he is pretty much cruising in terms of reading (ie. Doing fine but with no effort) has v poor fine motor so writing v poor (teacher says perhaps he is still in gross motor phase).

The school nurse basically takes over from the health visitor on school entry. If you have any behavioural or developmental concerns she can refer you to a developmental paed without having to go through your GP. What do you think? Are you concerned that your DS may have any diagnosable issues? They don't just deal with physical health issues. Good luck with it and let us know how it goes.

I have been concerned for a while. He is a Jekyll & Hyde character. Although on the one hand he's bright, articulate, imaginative (teacher says very), on the other he has highly volatile moods, is prone to emotional outbursts, often lashes out (dd's face is often a criss-cross of scratches) can't cope when things don't go his way, cannot follow instructions. Getting dressed can take upwards of 45 mins if he is made to do it by himself- although he is perfectly capable of doing so, getting him into the bath will be a 20 min routine of asking, persuading, coercing him in, then another 20 min of getting him out again!
He was a really easy baby and young toddler, then around 30-36 mths started this behaviour. Although two years have passed and we have tried countless naughty step, consequences, time-out and reward chart interventions he hasn't made any progress at all.
Maybe we are crappy at parenting but dd (7) has had her challenging moments and we have always managed to gain her co-operation. I just don't think ds is going to grow out of it.
I have considered many possible explanations; ADHD, dyspraxia etc but Pathological Demand Avoidance diagnostic criteria sound like they've been written for ds!
School have never heard of it and I think Senco thinks we have just plucked it out of the air and don't really have a clue- she made that quite clear at the meeting. Class teacher however, is supportive- it was her who suggested getting head and senco involved when we told her we were worried, she has her concerns too.