What would you do in my position about future school?

[macwoozy]

My head is all over the place right now and I really don't know what to do for the best. Where do I start?!
Ds has aspergers/autism, nearly 11 yrs old. I've been home educating him for just over 1 year due to him being so incredibly unhappy at school.
To my absolute shock he was offered a place at a bloody good special needs school, I checked the place out myself and was in awe at how wonderful it all looked. Apparently most parents have to fight to get their child in there and all I had to do was point out the reasons, in a letter, as to why ds would benefit. So you can imagine how amazed I was to hear he got a place.
Academically ds would be at the top in terms of academic ability, I've worked with him through past SAT's papers and although he doesn't reach up to average standard, he has very impressive results in specific areas. But I felt that it was far more important to concentrate on his social abilities, which sadly is very lacking. Apparently he is still on p scores for working with others, attention and organisational skills. So with that in mind I knew he couldn't cope with a normal comprehensive even with a statement.
All sounded plain cut to me, until dp told me tonight that it will cost us £100 a week in petrol. Now, I'm bloody sure we had this conversation before we agreed to accept the place, and he said around £30, and I knew that if we were in a bad time financially we could most probably cope with this extra cost. But stupidly I jsut took his word for it, I rarely pay for petrol myself, dp generally does that, and although I know prices have increased, I never knew in a million years that we would be talking about £100 petrol cost in one week.
Dp tries to dampen my worry by saying that there is nothing to worry about considering he works in the same area as the school so could half the petrol cost, but I know jobs are not safe, especially his, and I do not feel brave enough to risk this for the next 5 years ds will be at this school.
BTW school is 17 miles away, so by taking him there and back it's four trips for me, unless I hang around in the shopping centre for 7 hours! Dp said he could take him in the mornings, all very well whilst he's got that job. What the hell happens if he loses it?
So, basically what would you do in my position? Pay the £100 a week which frightens the hell out of me, but with the knowledge that ds will grow into a confident young man(I hope) or turn the opportunity down, and god only knows. I love my ds but I really don't know if I could carry on home educating. If dp loses his job there is no way we could afford the £100 petrol money, but then taking him out of school whilst he's settled would be criminal. Help??

Could you check with your local LEA regarding taxi's to and from school paid for by them? As this is a special school I am guessing there is not another closer to you and I know my local authority pays for these, or they pay you mileage. May be worth checking out good luck

God I so wish. (thanks baffled for replying though)

In the last statement review ( different only because I was home educating so no involvment with school etc)I was clearly told that if I went for this particular school then I would have to pay for transport costs, due to the fact that there was another special school in the area that would be adequate. Of course I checked out this school, but I knew that academically it wasn't right for him. By talking with other parents it seemed very clear that the school I wanted ( and got) the children were of a higher academic ability, and this was well known. He would have suffered if he had gone to the special needs school closeby, but of course the LEA will not admit to the differences, otherwise I could fight my case for transport.

We take our DS 15 miles to school (MS) and it has been worth it because he has really done well there and they have been very good with him.
Try ringing one of the SEN charities for advice. You might be able to argue a case for transport costs if you word it right.
In our area though parents can't be paid to take their own children so it would mean a taxi, which would bring a whole new set of problems for DS so we would still want to take him ourselves.

macwoozy, i would argue that although there are is a special school closer to you, the other one suits your ds more. Would be worth fighting now that you know you have a guaranteed place. Also if other sn dc from your way go it wouldnt really be costing any extra for LEA to pick your son up to in either a shared taxi or bus. Another option would be if you could advertise/find out locally if anyone from your area dc goe to school, then perhaps you could come to some arrangement of car share to take dc. It is a lot of £, and i would never be able to afford. Hope you get something sorted because it would be so good for you and your ds to get him to school of your dreams. Good luck x

Thanks for your advice

Heck, I did waffle a bit last night!

Oh I really do hope there will be other children in our area that will go to that school, that will certainly help my case. I suppose I won't know that until he starts in September though.

Only other option I can think of is to move to the area, but I so don't want to do that, and ds does not cope well with change at all, and even the thought of moving for ds would cause him so much stress. He just feels so safe in our little house.

So sad to know that there are some wonderful local MS schools here, I only wish ds could cope in that environment. I shouldn't complain though, the SN's school is wonderful, and I know despite the cost, I am very lucky.

What car do you have?
I worked out on our car which does 10miles per litre (45per gallon) that if you are travelling 17miles a trip, then each day that is 68miles a day or 340 a week. For our car that is 34 litres of petrol so if petrol is 1.35 a litre that is £45 a week. Which looks a lot more do-able.

You could try arguing that the special school you want is the only suitable school because the other one isn't suitable for your DS's academic needs. In cases like yours, the LA names both schools in Part 4 of your statement but states that will allow your DS to attend your preferred choice as long as you pay for transport.

You could appeal to SEND against Part 4, on the grounds that only one of the schools is suitable. See this page (paragraphs 23-27) for more information.

Did the other school agree that they could meet his needs? Did they offer you a place when you went to visit? If not, it could be hard for the LA to prove that the other school is really suitable.

SEND tribunals are quite stressful and take time to reach a hearing (about 6 months), but it could be worthwhile in the long term if you DS is going to be attending the school for the next few years. You might also find that the LA agrees before the hearing, as this happens in a number of cases.

LittleMissGreen, blimey I must have a thirsty car compared to yours. Mine does about 23 mpg. It's not even a big car, or anything flash. Maybe I'm going to have to get rid of it, and get something more economical. That's something I hadn't even considered, how stupid am I??

Sugarcandymix, Thanks for the link,I'll check that out. But it's interesting that you say both schools are mentioned in part 4, because I still haven't received the final amended statement. So I have no idea what it will say. They offered me a place by post, with no mention of the local school. In the last proposed statement it says that I wished to send my child to XXX school, and there was indeed a place. It's been a good few months since I've received that so I should chase it up. I've definately got a place at the new school as they have made contact regarding registration details etc.

The other school did agree they could meet his needs, in fact both schools seemed interested, but the furthest one specializes in Autism/Aspergers.

You have to take the school you've found and love.

Someway or another you'll work out the money. Changing cars sounds like a good first move :)

Maybe if he's at school you'll actually be able to get a p/t job?

Maybe you'll be able to get the LEA to pay for a taxi.

Maybe someone else will live vaguely close and you'll be able to car pool.

Maybe all sorts of things.

But take the school that you think will be right for him.

(Easy for me to say, because I won't have to live with your financial worries. But I think far less stress for you to have financial worries than school worries)

Go for it! You may find that once there, there are other pupils coming from the same area who you could share the taxi with.

Our school insists all the children are taken in a taxi as they say it is vital for their social skills and helps their independence even though they all have escorts.You could try that with the LEA especially if there is something in the statement about social skills / communication needing to be addressed.

You should have received the final statement within 8 weeks of receiving the proposed statement. See the timeline here. The timescales are a legal obligation for the LA, so chase it up with them if it's already longer than 8 weeks.

Is he in Year 6 (or would he be if he wasn't home edded)? Is this his first statement? Usually you'd receive an amended final statement by Feb 15 for secondary transfer for those who already have statements, but I'm not sure about the situation for those who are going through SA for the first time.

I'd say send him.. and face the transport costs day by day! I'm in a similar position ..not with my DS2 who has taxi to his Special School but with my elder child to his school.. a 20 mile round trip twice a day :/ It's not fun but you actually get used to economising in other ways.. and we use DS2's DLA to pay for the fuel.

I also second getting a cheaper car!! 23mpg is shocking! I traded my fuel drinker for a Smartcar. Don't laugh.... they do 80MPG and are brilliant to drive.. as a second car they are ideal and surprisingly spacious too!

Good luck with school :)

Thank you all for your encouraging posts, I felt so miserable about it with my first post, but now I'm feeling more positive. Well slightly anyway as I am a natural worrier and you wouldn't believe the scenarios I've created in my mind about how this school is just going to ruin us financially, losing the house, me having to sell my wrinkly old body blah blah.

Actually my dp reckons my car is a more like 30 mpg so if that is the case it'll cut the cost by quite a bit. I panicked with my first post. Dp really should give me the correct facts in the first place - gotta blame it on someone! But the car is going to have to go. Ds loves smartcars!

Interesting about the social aspect eatyourveg

Sugarcandymix, thank you for making me aware about this. Ds has had a statement for a number of years. I received an offer for the school just before xmas, in this letter it states this school isn't considered to be the nearest appropriate school to your home address, therefore your child is not entitled to free transport. The proposed amended statement came through on the 12th Jan asking me to express a preference but acknowledging my desire for XXX school. A bit back to front I guess! But it's certainly over the 8 week deadline!