Independent assessment- psych/paed?

[Sops]

We have just returned from school meeting with class teacher, head & senco.
Our ds (4.11) had lots of behavioral issues which I have a very, very strong suspicion are due to Pathological Demand Avoidance.
However, it seems that although school do have serious concerns about him, it is not impacting on his learning (although teacher says certainly has the potential to in the future). So currently they cannot justify referring him to be assessed by the ed psych.
It seems that he has improved slightly at school at the expense of his behaviour at home (classic PDA?)
They will however, ask ed psych to unofficially give them her view on it, but I don't think she will actually see him- so can't really see what purpose that will serve.
They told us that it can take a very, very long time to get an ed psych assessment- head even vaguely said, "well we don't want to leave it for too long else sometimes by the time we get a diagnosis the child is moving on to secondary school", which worried me. I asked twice how long they meant by a long time, weeks, months or years? But could not get an answer...
Even more worrying.
Dh and I have just said to one another, lets just get him assessed privately. then, if there is no issue- fantastic, if there is we can start to help him right now.
Can anyone tell me of their experiences using independent psychologists. Should we go to BUPA or something?
There is a group of psychologists local to us: Independent Child Psychology Services www.indepsych.co.uk/index.php, anybody had any experience of them?

I'd go to the GP first of all and get a referral to the paediatrician. You can wait years for an EP assessment if they feel he's not 'bad enough'. Dd is in Y6. It's taken two years to get her assessed and she's been on SA+ for four years!

I went to the GP, he said I should ask the school because although he could refer me, it would be quicker via the school.
He asked me to get something in writing from the senco and go back to see him on monday.
Senco says she can't possibly get anything to him in time for monday and asked me to ask him to write to her with a specific question!

We had considered just going straight to getting an independent assessment as guessed dealing with ed dept/nhs would be frustratingly slow.
I feel like we could wait years for them to do their stuff or we could just pay a few hundred quid (?) and get answers right now.
Is it a good idea though?

It took 2.5 years to get an assessment for me via school/nhs and then the diagnosis is not definitive. (rolls eyes)

The issue is that LEA's can ignore private reports in the early stages.

Pop a letter in writing to the local authority asking for a statement. They have to look at your reasons for asking, and even if they say no it can speed up the process of getting an EP to take an official look.

If I'd known then what I know now I would have gone private as we lost a lot of ground in the 2 years we waited, and I feel my lad has paid to high a price for that inertia. That private report MAY push them in the right direction. Do contact the national autistic society to ensure whoever you use for the private assessment has the relevant experience for you to trust their diagnosis. You can use private reports if you need to go to tribunal.

I'm going through something similar and thought I'd share the tiny little morsel I learnt today: we have private healthcare through DH's work, and the healthcare company said they will support the case until diagnosis (i.e. pay for the specialists' fees) - but if ASD/PDA is diagnosed, they will not cover treatment as chronic conditions are excluded! Check the T&Cs of your policy.

My next step is to wait for the GPs appt and see what routes they have available in my area, and what they need in order to refer.

Worrying about the letter-writing merry-go-round you had!

Perhaps you could have a meeting with the HT/senco and request a letter outlining their concerns over your DC/description of DC development, take that to the GP with a list of your concerns as parents, and ask for a private referral. Also check with the school that if you go private they will recognise and act on the outcome of the assessment. It's always best to work with the school, no matter how idiotic challenging some staff members may be....

You may also have to work at the school's pace on letters to the GP etc. Unless you'd rather change schools than GPs...

Why do LEAs ignore private reports, surely an ed psych is an ed psych no matter who settles the bill?

Thanks eyeofnewt, we have no private healthcare, so no worries there!
About the letter writing, I think the senco was just being awkward there- head said she would happily write something for us but was going on a residential for the remainder of the week, head did say 'Could you not find a bit of time for that, Mrs senco?' 'No, I won't have time' says mrs Senco.
She also let out a sardonic little laugh when we mentioned PDA, I think she was only one step away from rolling her eyes.
However, she doesn't know our ds at all. Class teacher, who does know him, seems very supportive of us.