IEP Meeting tomorrow - Wish me luck / strenght

[IndigoBell]

Once again I need your strength and support.

I have a meeting with the SENCO and HT about DD tomorrow, and I am sure it's going to go terribly :)

Firstly - I really like the school and I really like the SENCO. They have been brilliant with DS's ASD, and compared to our old school they are fantastic. And I don't want to destroy my good relationship with them.

But DD is making no progress at school, and I have totally lost patience. She is being given heaps and heaps of extra support and interventions. School are doing everything the SpLD EP recommended, and they are doing an awful lot.

However none of it is working. And I don't care how much they are doing. I only care how effective it is.

But they of course have got all offended...

In July last year (Y2) she was assessed as a 1a in reading and a 1b in writing. Come Sep this year the junior school assessed her as a 1c for both. Now they are saying she is a 1a and 1b again.

So I claim she has made no progress since July, whereas they (I assume) will claim she has made progress since Sep.....

(Any suggestions for how to tackle this?)

But the added complication is that a few weeks ago she did AIT, and since then she has started to make some progress. I think she is making progress because of the AIT and the work I am doing at home with her and not because of the interventions school have her on.

And this of course has really offended them.

I want them to change from group interventions to 1:1

She is now, in the last few weeks, made some progress - but certainly not a whole NC sub level....

I think I can now help her with her reading and substantially improve that. But we haven't got time to also help her with her writing, so school has to.

(Her only dx and only problem is 'dyslexia')

My son's "IEP" at the end of year 1 that I fought Loooong nd hard for=

"X needs to listen in class"

• they wanted me to sign this off and got right huffy when I refused lol!

Right - now I've made you chuckle, your assertion that RESULTS are what need to be measured are spot on.

I think a key issue with SEN in the UK in contrast to some countries is that they waffle about "caring". It's not "caring" to allow a child to leave school illiterate if it's not neccessary.

Thank them very kindly for the support they've given to date but be firm about what she NEEDS to succeed. If that is 1:1 instead of group don't back down. Keep ponting out you are all aiming to achieve the same thing - a child who can read & write. Repeat your shared goals every time they get sniffy, even if it makes you feel like a broken record.

Say 2 positive things for every negative thing ie. she's really enjoyed the group work, and I appreciate the effort you put into that. Howvever it's now time to step it up a notch so that she learns.

This is gonna sound nuts, but concentrate on keeping the tone of your voice deeper than usual if you feel them winding you up. Women have a tendency to get higher pitched when stressed and it does us no favours. The most extreme example I can think of for this technique was Maggie Thatcher. You have to sound and look cool, calm and collected even if they get silly with you. People can't tell when I'm a hair's breadth from decking them with this technique - it's so handy. If your voice gets shriller the people listening get defensive without even realising they ar doing it - that's my reasoning behind using this technique

Ego massaging is rubbish in circumstances like this but you still have to try. Whatever you do though don't back down as you have the concrete evidence to make your case. 1:1 for writing sounds reasonable at age 8 as other approaches have already been trialled and have failed.

bochead that sounds so good your very PC i totally agree you have to sound strong and be firm even when you dont understand and/or they are winding you up lol @decking them how much we all know that feeling i even at my DS middle school when i went in politely explained my DS was unhappy was being bullied was not improving whatsoever ect ect was shouted at when i got into the corridoor this was at home time so in front of everyone that "you are being ridiculous" ummm i think we assertain from that she wasnt happy DS was changing schools then lol good luck hope it goes better than your expecting IndigoBell

btw this was after a 3 year period and they still had done nothing to help it wasnt a knee jerk reaction

Thanks everyone.

Justa - yes, the thing is being good with ASD does not mean you are good with dyslexia. They need very different support.

But they aren't being rubbish with her. They have spent the last 2 terms trying all sorts of sensible things. And up until now I have been happyish with that.

I thought everything they were trying wouldn't work, because it was identical to what she was getting at her old school - but they did have to try it for themselves.

Bochead - lots of very good tips there. Thanks

It's not fair to say they are rubbish in terms of the amount of support she is getting - it is true to say they aren't effectively monitoring the effectiveness of the support she is getting.

Hi IndigoBell,

I am in a similar situation as you, my son is 10 and has been under SENCO- school action plus since he started school with speech,language and auditory memory delays. We get on very well with the school, the teachers and SENCO and for 4 years I have been patient and kept my mouth shut not to upset anyone or make it difficult for my son at school. However there is only so much ass kissing and agreeing you can do. My son in my opinion as made little if no progress at all following his IEP (despite his school saying he is), his reading and writing is still around 31/2 years behind his peers. So enough is enough I changelled his teachers/ SENCO asking why if he is making progress why is his reading and writing age is still the same, I was polite to a point. I went in with my own strategy, telling them again politely what I wanted for my son, I have requested for an EP, I hired an independant SLT (as our area is currently being covered by a locum due to government custbacks)for an assessment. Armed with this I asked for his IEP to tailored around this report. They wasn't to pleased as I had an independant assessment, which hightlighted areas that were not picked up ie APD. My relationship with the school isn't what it was but i don't care I want what is best for my son and hopefully i will see some progress. Just wished i did it sooner he is 10 and I feel I have let him down. We do our best to help him with his reading, writing, maths and his additional SENCO work but its all to much for him and us, also my daughter who is 7 suffers as the attention is on my son. Anyone else feel like this. You just have to fight for what you believe, at the end of the day you know your child better than anyone else. Just wished I did it sooner.

I have been fighting, hard, for her for 2 years :)

And she has had an EP report - but he made no recommendations because school were already doing everything you would expect them to be.

(And this isn't just a line. I'm on the primary forum all the time, and the school is doing exactly what the teachers on there recommend.)

So my problem is, that they really are doing everything they should be, and it still isn't working.

Indigo

Do you want her to stay in that school or would a placement in a dyslexia school be better for her? My husband's 13 year old cousin got a place at one following a tribunal and apparently he has achieved so much since moving there and is almost like a different boy.

sounds like she needs to go and see someone else for fresh input/ or someone come in to school like the outreach team have they tried that indigobel

SpLD is the outreach team. They can't help her either.
School are doing everything the SpLD team suggest.

I don't really want to send her to a diff school. And certainly that isn't something I want to discuss tomorrow.

But all of this is helping me clarify what I will and won't say tomorrow. So thank guys.

oh im sorry i am new to Mn i didnt know what spld was im still learning in this minefield ,
i should have googled it but was eating , well hope they have something concrete and different to suggest for you tomorrow then

That's OK :)

SpLD is Specific Learning Disability - which is the new term for dyslexia.

I'm going to be confident and insistent that she needs 1:1 and school should provide it.

And if we can't come to any agreement I will take her out of school and HE her. Enough is enough.

Indigo, just to give you some info that might be used at the meeting to undermine some of your arguments. The school will say that the jump to Y3 from Y2 means that a lot of children fall back on their SATs levels. What happens is that they are taught new methods etc and to get the same level as in infants children actually have to demonstrate these new skills. In effect a Y2 child couldn't get eg a 2a in a Y3 assessment as some of the skills required to get a 2a would not have been taught yet.

They will say that it is expected for children to drop a few sub levels in Y3.

I am not saying that you are wrong in being furious that your DD isn't making adequate progress. I'm on your side, I'm just giving you some warning about how they may try to counter your arguments. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say.

Actually the example wasn't a good one, what I meant was a Y2 child who can get a 2a in a Y2 assessment in June is unlikely to get a 2a in a Y3 assessment in Sept of Y3. Hope that makes sense. My DS 3 is super at maths and has level 4a but couldn't pass a y6 test at 4a. Easier to see in maths as you can see that he may not have covered % yet or something that he would neen in Y6 SATS, but it's the same in English. ( by the way he is 2a in English!)

And DS3 is in Y4

Ellen, you're right in general about that. I'm a school gov and know that the whole cohert are still behind where they were end of last year.

However because she is only working at a level 1 and not a level 2 or 3 I'm not sure it's fair for the school to use that argument.

Besides I already gave the HT a hard time over that at the last gov meeting.

But you're right I had forgotten about that.

No, not fair at all. I'm a 1 to 1 TA so know a few tricks! My school is actually very good with SEN (compared to my DS's school) so I don't get to learn many dirty tricks to then avoid with my parent hat on! Good luck.

Just off on the school run, but how did it go today, Indigo?

Thanks for asking, It went really well!

For the first time ever I think we had a whole meeting without school giving me any BS or lies.

They admitted that she was really struggling, and her problems were really severe. (Another first).

And they agreed to one hour 1:1 a week. (Whereas last term they said there was no way she could have 1:1)

We also came up with a few other things that might help (like her phonics TA sharing with her teacher what she was actually up to.)

I came away feeling really 'listened to' and much better. I don't know if it will help or not. But it feels like we are all working together.

They were also interested in the AIT report, which I thought they wouldn't be.

And even more amazingly, they actually agreed that it was wrong that she was on the bottom maths table because she couldn't read, rather than because of her maths ability. Said it wasn't school policy and they'd talk to the teacher about it. School actually admitted a mistake! I'm gobsmacked.

So mainly, we've strengthened our relationship rather than ruining it.

Glad it went well Indigo . I'm

Treat yourself

Well done for getting somewhere with the school!

Fantastic! When you get all ready for a fight it's almost a bit of an anticlimax when they don't fight back!

I work in a 2 form entry junior school and we set for maths, extension and foundation. Some of the poorest readers are actually quite near the top of the foundation group. We always read the maths questions to them if they are wordy. We tell them to always ask if in doubt as we are working on their maths not their reading in this lesson. I'm sure that is normal in most schools. Your DD's teacher should know that!

So glad it went well. Hope 1 to 1 helps your DD to make 'acceptable' progress!