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SN children

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Original poster

Can any of you mams hold down a job with an ill child, because I am finding it hard

11 replies

mummytopebs · 21/03/2011 21:52

DD 14 months has an undiagnosed blood vessel condition and is in and out of hospital a lot and ill often. I left my job where I was working 3 days as she constantly couldnt go to nursery so was always having to ring in. I started to work 3 evenings instead but dd has been practically constantly ill since xmas so I have had to ring in a lot here as well. I am going into work for a meeting with my manager tomorrow and think i will prob get finished as i am on a 3 month trial.

We could manage financially (just) as dd has just been awarded dla, but only awarded till next march.

Was just wondering if or how do you manage or should i just bite thebullet and give up work for the next year

OP posts:

Chundle · 21/03/2011 22:04

My last day of work is next Monday. I need to be at home with 19 month old dd to take her to appointments and to help her progress more. She has just got dla so I can claim carers allowance now. You could always get one of those jobs you do it at home to make a bit of extra cash where you make up it kits etc pay isn't great but at least you would be home and could still claim carers allowance

Original poster

mummytopebs · 21/03/2011 22:15

I have been awarded carers allowance to and that is part of the reason we could manage. I am the same with appointments etc and hospital stays, I am just concerned if she doesnt get the dla awarded next March. How long has your dd been awarded it for? They would only give 18 month (it was backdated from when i first applied) for dd as her condition is not diagnosed

OP posts:

brandy77 · 21/03/2011 22:54

I had to give up my job of 10 years in january 2009 because of my sons medical problems, continuous hospital admissions and illness. If I hadnt had to do it then I would have had to now as hes not in education because of his behavioural difficulties (ASD).

Its isolating and I hate it, my employer was very understanding but after 6months compassionate leave and my absences continuing I had no option but to resign. I would suggest voluntary work, I only do 3 hours on a friday with an Alzheimers support group and I love it! Its work, may be unpaid but if i cant get in its not a problem and at least it gives me that "work" identity which I felt totally lost without. DLA and carers allowance do not cover my wage and as a single parent there is no one to fall back on but life throws these difficulties at us and im hopeful that the future will include a paid job again

cory · 22/03/2011 07:35

It's a bugger isn't it?

We've had 7 years of constant juggling; fortunately, dcs have now got to an age where they can be left and their condition allows it, so I just walk out the door and hope that they will be spending the day reading physics rather than staring at the ceiling.

But dh's boss' patience has been sorely tried in the preceding 7 years.

signandsmile · 22/03/2011 07:47

I don'r know if this is an option for you but I teach for the OU, it's very part time... (only 6 - 7 hours a week) and mostly from home/online.

I teach one Sat a month, (and that is a lot, most courses 4 or 5 sessions a year) and I mark essays and support students from home.. I can download their essays and then mark them whereever I am... (that's undergraduates) they also short courses called 'openings' with no face to face teaching.

have a look at www.open.ac.uk for vacancies...

Just an idea,

rebl · 22/03/2011 09:31

I gave up my full time permanent job because of ds. I then started my own business as a baby signing teacher. This was perfect for me because I could dictate my hours and on weeks when he was ill in hospital I would only be away from the hospital for 2hrs tops to do my classes and then be back. On days when he was ill at home I could nearly always have dh watch him for a couple of hours whilst I went and did my classes. I've stopped doing it now and having a total break from working. The last 5 years have burnt me out but I intend to start a part-time OU course in September.

Original poster

mummytopebs · 22/03/2011 09:42

Well I am off to see my boss in an hour and I think I will leave for the year (whilst I can afford it).

I havent got a career yet anyway as put it on hold when dd1 was born 6 years ago, so might look at part time ou to and just work on bettering myself. It will certainly be a lot less stressful as you have the worry of dd been ill or in hospital and then the dread of having to phone in work as well.

OP posts:

newlife4us · 22/03/2011 10:23

Mummytopebs - hope it goes ok with the boss.

Speaking from experience, if you can, i would try to give up formal work and try to find something you can do at home. I ended up with burn out three and a half years ago trying to hold down a very demanding (although meant to be part-time) job whilst my DD was constantly in and out of hospital. it was a struggle initially financially, but it took so much pressure off.

Re the DLA we were initially given a fixed period, but it was renewed without any quibble and it's now on-going.

I'm now in a position where i want to do something from home (for my sanity - although the extra money would be nice). Thanks signandsmile - i'll look at th OU idea.

shazian · 22/03/2011 10:26

I had to give up job of 17 years to care for ds. He's ten and in school now, however as school is on holiday constant like they only have 7 full school days in April, then i wouldnt have anyone to care for ds (also have other 2 ds 12 & 8yrs). I really miss work at times and adult company, but i am fortunate that i dont have to try and arrange childcare and am available to go to all the appointments etc for all my boys.

SparkleRainbow · 22/03/2011 18:54

No prospect of ever being able to return to work here. Emergency hospital appointments, regular hospital appointments, calls to school, days off in pain.....just not going to happen workwise for a while. Money is tight, but no dla at the moment, so no carers allowance. Bummer isn't it.

proudmum74 · 23/03/2011 10:05

Starting to think that I may have to give up too. I've only just returned to work after taking a year off to focus on dd & she's already been rushed to hospital twice in the 3 weeks I've been back. So far everyone has been OK about it, dh has been able to help out by taking days off and I'm taking her hospital appointments off as annual leave, but it's a real struggle to juggle it all. I keep saying I'll give it 3 months & see how it goes, but I think I'm being optimisitic in thinking I can continue.

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