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SN children

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Original poster

DS, ASD, and homework........

17 replies

WhoWhoWhoWho · 20/03/2011 17:56

Will give you a picture of DS .... He is on the autistic spectrum (he's 6). He is in mainstream primary with a statement + TA (who is great). He is in year one, young for his age, still in nappies, dislikes school.

On a friday the children bring their book bags home and every week I have a hassle getting DS to do his homework. He hates it, it's like trying to get blood out of a stone!

In the Feb half term I found out he had more homework than his peers, don't know if this was a one off or not .....

this weekend he has 3 sheets of homework, a writing book (his TA set this up to try and keep him in the lines), and his reading book. He has just seen it all and had a meltdown! I'm wondering if all the children have this amount or if DS has more again.

I think this is just too much for him, AIBU?? Not sure what to do about it.

OP posts:

MADABOUTTHEBOY2000 · 20/03/2011 18:13

No YANBU i used to have this the thing is i think YES we want our dcs to not fall further and further behind but at the same time this undertaking is just not always going to be possible we dont to keep making them misserable, my DS used to bring reams of homework home much more than his NT brother and sister at the same school{confused} there are a few points to remember here,
1, a lot of AS/ASD dcs need to let go and relax once out of school at the end of the day as they have been trying so desperately hard to hold everything in all day
2, they often keep things separate ie; schools for work homes for fun/relaxing playing ect
the schools do not understand that this is really very upsetting for them especially as the work is often not talored to there specific needs, i had to go in every week to tell them he could not do the same maths worksheet as everyone else (same with all the work they gave him, except science or DT/art) in the end id talor it myself if they wanted an essay id get him to stick pictures in /draw then write a sentance under it, i just would get him to do what he can and not stress him out sometimes i couldnt get him to do it at all they were trying to get him to do his tables a few months back there is no chance of that he hates maths even though hes quite good at it, writing within lines never ever worked for my dc it makes his hand ache so much , id go in and say please can they give him less and just dont expect you to have to force him to do it my ds would go on a regular basis into meltdown about it, if they cant change what they give him tell them you will tailor it to what you think he can do and will actually enjoy and just dont worry like you said my Dcs didnt have as much as my son with ASD and they could have managed more DS cant id always give it a go/change it and if upsetting him too much write in his schoolworkbook/diary if he has one saying why you didnt HTH

IndigoBell · 20/03/2011 18:32

I would just do his reading and nothing else

He's at school 6 hours a day, that's enough (esp if he has 1:1)

Original poster

WhoWhoWhoWho · 20/03/2011 18:46

Thanks for replies

I'm wondering if they are trying to keep him up with the class or something. Which is ridiculous.

They know he hates doing his homework, and we did have the home/ school boundary at first of "this is school work and I'm at home I'm not doing it". He has now accepted that they do some more practicing at home but he makes it very clear that he hates doin it.

His handwriting practice was because he is continuing his letters until he reaches the end of the page so a b goes to the top of the page and a p goes right to the bottom of a page! He does also have a loose grip when holding a pen/pencil so it's not just this line/boundary issue holding back his handwriting.

He has done a little tonight and I think I am going to leave the rest.

One of the sheets is explaing how you can use rhymes to remember spellings (eg Big Elephants Can Always Understande Small Elephants = because) and asking them to make one up for another word.

OP posts:

Ineedalife · 20/03/2011 18:48

Dd3 finds homework very difficult, It is not that she can't do it, she is more than capable it is that school is for working and home is for other things [in her mind].

In fact she described her feeling very well not so long ago when she said " I'm far to busy at home to do homework".

If I force the issue she just melts down.

We do her reading and occasionally she will be inspired by whatever sheet they have put in her book and whizz through it in 30 seconds.
She did that last week with some maths but then scribbled all over the one on the page before.

You can't win with homework, if you try to force them they lose it and if you don't the teachers moan.

Save us from homework

asdx2 · 20/03/2011 20:37

Dd reads if she chooses though rarely reads her reading books but does read books of her choice from the school library. She doesn't do spellings because she memorises them as she copies them off the board. She will do the stuff that is on education city that is sent as homework. School is aware that I won't battle over homework so I ask once and if she says no that's the end of it. She will do some occasionally with her TA though.
Ds has periods set aside specifically to do homework and coursework with TA support in school.
They are both of the mind home is home and school is school and should be kept totally separate.

EllenJane1 · 20/03/2011 20:47

Homework is a huge issue for my DS and unfortunately he's 11 and there's more of it! I think that further down the school h/w is often given out to please the pushy parents so they know how clever their darlings are. Tell them it's causing meltdowns and you aren't able to do it at the moment. Half the time they don't even mark the bloody stuff! Tell them he needs home to be a happy place and a refuge from stress.

Marne · 20/03/2011 21:57

We just do the reading, dd1 is 7 (AS), she gets reading and spelling homework, we don't do the spelling as it causes too much stress. Dd2(ASD) is 5 and we read her book once a week (new book each week).

MADABOUTTHEBOY2000 · 21/03/2011 11:30

i wanted to say just dont do it but was worried id get flammed , my ds used to do it but now hes at SS they only give a reading book and spellings if you WANT them but as his teacher at parents evening said if it stresses him dont worry about it , so im so glad the others agree lol i got flamed a couple times over the last few days getting scared of having a differing opinion now , but what i wrote was what we did about the homework whilst in middle school, but that was before Ds had a DX if i knew why he was so unhappy doing the work(his separating home from school) i would have told them plainly he cant do it, he sometimes would come out with a sheet and want to do it and would do his hw in the car whilst moving im sure on those occasions the teacher woulnt even be able to read it at all anyway

VJayJay · 21/03/2011 12:36

I just do what we can when it comes to homework. My ds is 8 now and it is getting easier to get him to do it. He struggles, because school is for school work, and home is not, and homework just blurs those boundaries. But like I said it is getting easier now. Just do what you can

Original poster

WhoWhoWhoWho · 21/03/2011 13:10

All these replies saying similar are very reassuring! I have sent the hard sheet back with a note pointing out it is beyond his level of ability and understanding, he has done one, and very halfheartedly half done another one.

Have left his writing book for whenever or never if ds has anything to do with it.

DS's ta is fab but the teacher has been a source of annoyance for me to be honest, have had several daft hings with her. Roll on year 2!

OP posts:

coppertop · 21/03/2011 13:24

It sounds like a lot of homework for a 6yr-old. It's more than my ds in Yr6 gets.

When ds1 was in Yr1, the teacher took the approach that other children would take about 10 minutes or so to do the work. Therefore ds1 could stop after 10 minutes, even if he had only answered one question. If he couldn't manage any then that was fine too.

MADABOUTTHEBOY2000 · 21/03/2011 13:33

its so much better when there understanding why cant they all be so aggghh

EllenJane1 · 21/03/2011 13:43

That's a good idea, coppertop. Ask the teacher how long she thinks the homework should take and stop at that time (or a little before ) and put a note on it.

auntevil · 21/03/2011 14:08

Putting a time limit on it is what school suggested to me!
I'm afraid i'm one of the mums that makes all my DS do homework.
I suppose its just how i was brought up.
There are other reasons as well. DS1 is chronically lazy. If he can do the least amount of anything to achieve what he wants then he'll just about do that. He's been known to get his yr1 brother to scribe for him (yr3) - whilst he continues to play PS!. He is very slow, but he needs to realise that he just might have to put in some effort if he is going to keep up. He is bright, but could easily slip behind with his manyana horizontal attitude (whoops - that sounds like another one of my rants!)
He doesn't have an issue with the home/school boundary though. Both me and my DS do 'homework' at home.
The homework that his teacher often sets is fact finding - she knows he enjoys this type of work. I know that she sets different homework for different children. It may be also so that ds2 doesn't end up doing it for him

sugarcandyminx · 21/03/2011 14:53

DS goes to a specialist ASD secondary school and they don't set homework at all, as they know it's such a difficult issue for students like him. The view is that he's already having to learn a lot after school, in terms of all the social skills and independence skills that come naturally to NT people.

At primary school (ms), the homework was never strict or particularly regular so we were just fortunate. He would read, but that's something he's always done for enjoyment. It was a struggle to get him to do more project-based work, but that only happened once a term or so.

A few tips from the NAS website here.

RockinSockBunnies · 21/03/2011 19:03

Homework is also a massive battle for us. DSS is 8, ASD and capable of doing homework if he wants to do it. The problem is that he'll spend hours shrieking, arguing and refusing to do it, doodling on the paper, writing nonsense and generally doing anything in his power to not do it.

We've started ABA with him and the ABA supervisor's advice is to tell him it's time to do homework, explain what is required and what we expect him to do, leave him for ten minutes, go up and see what he's done. If nothing/nonsense/badly done it's crossed out and he's told to start again. This is repeated until he actually does as he's required, to the best of his ability. It's worked so far, but we've only been doing the ABA for a few weeks, so no idea if this will last....

5inthebed · 21/03/2011 19:06

Ds2 refuses to do homework. He is also in Y1, but not 6 until August. When we try to do it with him, hejust says "NO, you're not Miss X (his 1:1). I do try do it with him by giving a treat at the nd, but it either works or not.

School have said not to worry about doing it, but they still give it to him

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