1:1 TA support potentially not working

[supermum98]

Feeling utterly depressed about meeting yesterday. My ds at mainstream secondary,year7, with 1:1 TA support, on reduced curriculum, has CP. TA said in meeting that if he was her child she wouldn't want him in mainstream school!!! Special schools around here take kids that are much more severe, yet mainstream is a huge challenge, as ds has moderate learning difficulties and pd. Also ds. not happy to have 1:1 support and reduced curriculum as singles him out as different. He is in that black hole in the middle, what do i do home educate? I can potentially see things failing before my very eyes and feel very let down by the system. More can be done to help him in that situation before we consider a change, but I'm very worried. TA clearly stressed supporting him, and will get more support herself, but time is ticking on and don't have another meeting until mid-May. Anyone else in this position? ideas please.

I'm not in your situation (yet) as my DS is in Y6 and we are just now stressing about the scary transition to secondary.

Is it perhaps that the TA isn't the right person to be working with your DS and her concerns and stress levels are rubbing off on him? She seems to be being very negative. The school should be making sure that everything works out for your DS and doing everything in their power, before giving up and suggesting SS. Are the school actually implementing everything required by you DS's statement? (Assume he has one)

If you think changing schools may help are there really no halfway houses for your DS? Any schools with special units attached, or are they all DX specific if there are any? Would a smaller secondary school with good pastoral care be better? Or a larger one with more DC similar to your DS and perhaps more experience of dealing with DC like your DS?

I'm sorry, I seem to be asking questions rather than actually helping. Hopefully someone else will have more

I think it would be helpful for you to look at other schools whilst trying to improve things where he is now. Try schools in neighbouring LEAs to your own which may better meet his needs.

My daughter attends a MLD secondary school in a different area and is much better placed than she would be in a local school.

tbh, I wouldn't be happy with the TAs attitude, in fact I would have said something about that comment, that's really unprofessional, it's not up to her how you and the LEA chose to educate your ds. Is the TA stressed and your ds not happy because the placement isn't working, she's not supported enough or she has completely the wrong attitude? Can you ask for an earlier meeting?

I have to agree with TheNinjaGoose on this. How long has this particular TA been working with your DS? She sounds a bit unprofessional, and I would have to say that I would be very unhappy if someone working with DS2 said that. Because the bottom line is that he is NOT her son, and it is NOT her choice.

I think that I would speak to her sooner rather than later (perhaps with SENCO or someone else along) to find out if she is having difficulty coping with the position, needs more support, or simply needs an attitude adjustment. Her negativity could very well be rubbing off onto your DS. If she is having difficulty and cannot support your son, I would think it would be much less disruption for your son to have possibly a new 1:1 rather than switching schools. At least, as a first solution to try anyway.

Maybe she is being honest and trying to indicate to you that this school can't or won't deliver? Maybe she doesn't agree with the reduced curriculum and supports your ds on this? Maybe she knows that 1-to-1 staff in her school don't get the support needed from the teaching staff to make it successful? I hope you get some answers.

Alarm bells ringing on both scenarios:
Unprofessional comment, not able or inclined to do the job in question - or
Tipping you off that this is not the best place for your DS.
Who else was at the meeting?

The problem is, if she meant those other things, she should have SAID those other things. The statement she made sounds unprofessional and a bit judgemental.

As a professional, if she had specific problems or concerns about the situation, she should be addressing those specific concerns with both the school and the parents, rather than making comments like that. I suppose perhaps it could also indicate that she doesn't communicate things well, but then isn't that part of her job?

I would expect the person working 1:1 with my DS2 to be mature and professional enough to speak to me about any concerns they have regarding him, but in the form of what specifically is and isn't working and why, along with any specific suggestions as to what she thinks might be of assistance. Not blanket comments that seem rather pointless and judgemental. Thankfully, DS2's 1:1 TAs (there are 2 TAs that share the job) are both excellent about this.

Thanks so much for supportive comments, have made me feel a lot better, plus half bottle of red wine of course. EllenJane, I am worried that attitude of TA may be rubbing off on him. I feel she has a bit of a 'can't do attitude', pd support teacher felt she was disguising her negativity from him, but they do pick up vibes. They are implementing everything in the statement, but nevertheless, didn't hit the deck running in September, to the point I wonder what was learnt in year 6 by the transition process. For example he was doing Numicon Maths in primary after trying other approaches this worked. They are only just implementing it at Secondary. We have been saying he needs to use mind-mapping since Sept. training went in but still not off the ground. They are not setting him any homework, which doesn't help overlearning or me getting a handle on his learning, because they think he is too tired. I'm working with him anyway, (because he isn't too tired to do a bit) but they didn't want to send his notes home, and now after a push I'm getting them at the weekends. Still not good enough though as 24hour review essential as he has memory issues. TA is bright and caring and they have a good relationship. Really thoroughly researched all options in area. There is a resource 45 mins away for pd, but moving more over to autistic spectrum, and we have more therapy here as managed to secure weekly outreach package from special school in next county which he attended full-time to 8 years. Then started slow transition into local village primary, main-stream. It is small secondary school with good pastoral care and is accessibility school for pd. He desperately wanted to go to local school too. Don't know what we are dealing with, lack of experience or TA throwing a wobbley, definately needs support. Asked lots of professionals about choice of secondary and nobody specifically pointed us in the direction of any special schools. Most thought this would work. As advised by vjd maybe I should have another look as well as improve here-good idea. Not good to stay in negative situation long. I think Ninjagoose you are right can't sit on this, will contact Senco Monday and ask for meeting, next week. Bit shocked no-one contacted me today, really, left me in bits after meeting, do they not consider parents get traumatized by such comments? Yes triggles, I think she is stuggling and needs support and I think maybe he should have a couple of lead TA's so she has a team partner and can share the load. I felt there was elements of resentment about the load my ds was causing them, which worries me, but can't be sure. The school assured me they could meet his needs so feeling a bit angry now about this sudden outburst and yes I do feel judged as the wicked parent who put him there, but sure they don't think that. I would have been happy to send him to a SS but the most suitable ss in the area they conveniently closed down. Hocuspontas, I agree, I have come to the view that thank GOd the TA was honest, it would be far worst if she pretended all was fine and it wasn't.
She was originally keen for the reduced curriculum.

Ed Psych not been in touch, wondering if it worth contacting her about the situation. One thing I would say is ds very keen to go to school in morning, so that is a plus. Only grumbled about Geography mapwork as not being accessible to him, so getting mixed messages. TA thinks pace of lessons too fast for him. Differentiation really not working well, and don't have a supply of cloze worksheets it seems. Ellen Jane you need to probe this when you chose. THere is a program clozepro, which generates worksheets for the teachers easily, saves time as kids just fill in the gaps.

Oh well, more wine and bed, wonder what next week will bring. Battles yet to fight on school trip access, hand-rails on school bus, and decision by physio that standing frame no longer necessary. Sometimes feel overwhelmed by it all.

Glad we were of some help. Sometimes it's just clarifying things in your own mind. People here are always happy to provide support and some have really good expertise. Thanks for the cloze tip. My DS will be using a laptop probably, so might make cloze even easier?

I think calling for a meeting to discuss issues is a very good idea. At least your DS seems happy. Let us know how it goes.

Hi just wantd to add that go with your gut feeling re: the TA 's negative atitude. Our DD had full time one to one carer with requirement for intimate care neds and physio - we were getting the vibe that the TA resented the time and effort she had to put in supporting my child and her needs. It got to the point that our child ws refusing to go to the toilet at school with this carer and begging to stay home with me (lots of other serious incidents but these were the ones that scared us the most!). We took it to the headteacher who conducted an investigation and it turns out the TA had been neglecting her duties for a very long time to the point of child abuse :( She no longer works with my child...our daugter's attitude to school changed within 48hours of this TA being removed from her job - she no longer hates school but loves it so much and her new carer is amazing..

So please please remember that MUM'S DO KNOW BEST!!

supermum if it helps, with DS2 the school has two main TAs that work with DS2. One of them works with him every morning and two afternoons a week, the other works with him 3 afternoons a week. This gives the main TA 3 afternoons a week for a break, as well as giving her a chance to do any reports or review and any prep work needed for lessons or visual aids that she wants to look into or whatever. She feels this is a good arrangement (as do we) and we're hoping that this same TA and arrangement can be implemented for him next year as well.

we have a similar set up to triggles, 1 ta in the morning, different ta in the afternoon. The morning one supports another child in the afternoon and the afternoon one works as a general ta in another year class, seems to work well for both of them and for our dd3. I'm not convinced your ta is being honest, she could just be trying to cover her own back (?), there's a big difference between her not coping, your ds not coping because of her attitude rubbing off or the placement not working. Hope you manage to sort something out this week

End of the road, thats shocking your story, thank goodness you picked up on it and things have got better, you must have felt dreadful and so upset for your DD. I did pick up an element of resentment from Senco and TA, but I think it was more towards a system that doesn't support them, rather than my DS. Heard today that PD support teacher is on the case for getting TA more support, but reading threads below yours from Triggles and Ninja Goose (thanks guys) may be another way to have a job share, so my ds's TA has a break from him and also has a team partner to share the load with and bounce ideas off. Also absolutely right NinjaGoose I need to get to grips with what's going on. It is a challenge for my DS being in mainstream and it does single him out, he comes out for stretches, literacy and numeracy interventions and for overlearning and doesn't like coming out, also doesn't like having a full-time TA. However, without these his needs will not be met. But is keen to go to school and is happy, think the differentiation is the problem for the TA and pace of lessons and helping ds access the curriculum.
Ringing Senco tomorrow to call for urgent meeting.
Had physio issue and access to school trip issues to deal with today, equally as stressful.
Thanks for continuing support with this.

Let us know what happens, supermum.

Best of luck supermum. Hope it can all be sorted for you and your DS.