My Ds' problems, any clue who to see for diagnosis

[mummycanhandleit]

Hi, this is going to be a long one so please work with me
My ds has been to appointment after appointment and we are getting nowhere fast!
He was born with his hand and lower arm missing due to an amniotic band when I was pregnant. (which I really don't think means anything to the rest but I just thought I will give you a full picture)
His speech is delayed and was noticed when he was 2 - he will be 5 in May. He has been seeing a speech therapist from he started nursery in September 09. His behaviour was an absolute nightmare until recently. In nursery he would hit everyone and anyone. His nursery teacher referred his to see a Community Paediatric who said his problems were down to his father and I who are obviously induldging him too much and letting him off with everything due to his arm. She referred him to OT who said his pencil grip was immature but apart from that there was nothing else wrong.
His nursery teacher was not impressed and referred him to the educational psychologist as she said there was definately something underlying here.
The ED Psy came out to see him in Nov 10 when he was in P1, she seen the great difficulty there ie, he was head butting the other children because he thought he was a dinosaur, he would try to run out of the school grounds at break and lunch until finally the school has put someone in the class to one on one him until his statement came through.
He was then referred back to Comm Paed for her to check to see if it is possibly ASD but she said it wasn't that she wanted us and school to fill in form for ADHD. The school's came back that there was ADHD but my husbands and mine came back that there wasn't. The school then requested a referral to OT who spotted quite a few different sensory problems, tactile, propriceptional, vestibalur, visual, oral and auditory.
She gave him a sensory diet to do at home and in school, in the mean time the statutory assessment came back that my son had been turned down and they suggested a behavioural specialist go into the school. His P1 teacher said that she came up last Friday for lunch time and found him a handful but is not only coming in this Friday for break time season.
He went to speech therapist yesterday who is thinking of assessing him now for SLI (which I have just found out is Specific Language Impairment) He can speak just his pronounciation, grammar and understanding is quite delayed. He has to go to an audiologist because his ears are so sensitive that when the school bell rings he covers his ears and cries.
His Ed Psch is coming out again next week to see him but after all these appointment s we are no further on.
Can anyone give me any suggestions of what I should be looking for? Who should I be getting him referred too?
His behavioural is calming down a bit towards the end of the school year but the same happened last year in nursery but when P1 hit he was up the left again. I don't know if this is a change of routine or a new teacher that he thinks he can sweet talk.
I really do need help, please.

Go to your GP and ask to be referred to a specialist paed for developmental delays.

Agree with hanaka go to gp and be referred to specialist paed for develop delays. another option (though you shouldnt have to) would be to go private for consultation. i went to nuffield glasgow 5 years ago paid £120 for consultation, they were very thorough checked him all over, asked questions from birth until now. was only there half hour and confirmed definite asd. comm paed had told me wasnt asd (she specializes in it). private doc then sent letter to comm paed who did own multi assessment and was confirmed by them too. so was worth me doing this after years of worry. would say this fee will probably be dearer now, but worth checking if theres a clinic near you. also this was only for initial consultation if any treatment required you'd have to pay more.

bless you,you sound like your under an awfull lot of pressure,i would agree with the other posters ,referral to childhood peadiatrician is the first step really,you could also try calling your local child development centre,if you have one,they would give you more advice on who to contact,and also give you some support,you usually have to get a referral from a gp,but there,s no harm in trying to contact them for advice.
If you feel instinctivly that there is something else underlying,then don,t be put off by comm pead,they don,t always get it right first time,you may have a bit of a fight on your hands.
for what its worth you sound like you are doing a great job,you already some services involved,wish you the best of luck.

sorry, should have said, dont mean private consultant is only for asd, thats just what our dx was. just meant that perhaps you would get definite dx for your ds problems :)

thanks everyone for replying. I live in Northern Ireland I am not sure if we have childhood developmental centre but I'll google it and see what they come up with.

I'll maybe get on the phone and just enquire about how much a private consultation would be. I just want answers then I think the hardest battle will be over. Maybe I'm being silly but at least I will know what I am dealing with. You know?
Here goes more phone calls {smile] xxx

Did you manage to find out about private consultation? I agree with you it is easier in a way to deal with if you have dx, though doesnt actually change anything IYSWIM. :)

No, I tried to phone about yesterday but because it was a bank holiday most places were closed for St Patrick's day.
I didn't have a chance today as I had to take my son to audiology. By the way he passed it with flying colours. Some good news!!!! Yeah!!!
They could only test to see if he could hear or not hear which I found strange he has very sensitive hearing but there was no test for that. But I am delighted that he passed it. At least it is some good news for a change.

What does IYSWIM mean?