ASD feeling a bit down.

[pigletmania]

Had a follow up with the Developmental Paed regarding dd 4 speech and lang develeopmental delay and social communication difficulties. The Paedritrician is going down the ASD diagnosis, a formal one will be made after a multi disciplinary team meeting with the professionals involved with dd. I just feel a bit down about it all, I guess I feel hopeless and that my hopes and dreams for dd will not come true. Now that dd is older the differences in her communication and interaction in comparison with other children is obvious to see.

DD goes to a preschool attatched to a mainstream school which I want her to go to, and the headteacher is trying to get a statement for her so that she has help at school. Sorry if I am rambling but I need to talk to someone about it. My dh is more optimistic, I am one of lifes worriers. I think that I was the same as dd growing up and my communication started to improve with age and now I have 2 degrees which is amazing considering things really.

So sorry piglet. It's a hard thing getting the DX even if you are sort of expecting it. I'd take a while to grieve for the DD you thought you were going to have. But remember, she hasn't actually changed. She's still the lovely girl she was before. She's just a bit more precious, now, and will need you even more. You sound like you are really caring parents who will do the best for your DD.

Once you are feeling more positive come back here for lots of support and advice. People are really kind, here, and have lots of differing experiences which can help you.

((( hugs )))

You have a DH who loves you, a daughter who is unique, a supportive school and 2 degrees.
At 10, I thought my son would be heading for Maximum Security on a multiple murder charge.
Instead of which, at 16 he's heading for 4 A levels and his first degree.
The future is unpredictable and therein lies hope.

And you EllenJane? Off to bed young lady, you said you were done 40 minutes ago.

Thanks goblin it makes sense now all her little quirky behaviour. It's becoming more apparent as she is getting older, we are in the statementing process, already been turned down for one hopefully after the definite dx will put her in a better position for one as she really does need it

I guess I was in denial, yes your right she is still the same gorgeous girl inside, I am so surprised she seems to be very popular at ore school being invited to lots of parties and not class ones either. That I never expected at all. I want to treat her like I would a non Sn child in the sense of not putting up with bad behaviour and tring not to make allowances for her

everythings familiar your saying were here for you (hugs) its a time to grieve atm for what was but youve not lost your daughter she still her , in time you will begin to see all the positive things as with all these meetings and appointments they make you focas on the negative, and just because if she does get a dx of asd doesnt mean as goblinchild says that she wont do well in school given the right support or get married and be a parent one day all of thses things are still feasible, and how wonderful shes so popular because shes such a lovely person on the inside , be proud her qwerks ect are what make her different and all the more special she will always be your princess

Life is still the same, just on a slightly different path.
My Eldest DD1 is 8 and has autism. Sje is a wonderful girl, popular (although she does know/care), clever and beutiful. We have been told she has a high IQ and will get on in life, just slightly differently to everyone else.
DD2 is going though the dx process for autism too, and she's 3 years old. She has come on far in last few months and is doing ok in her special school and we hope she will go into mainstream at reception.

I guess I just wanted to say, life can look terrible but things do change. I paniced when DDs got dx'ed but I see so many positives now in the eldest I know we will be ok.

piglet, don't worry. Some turn out like me . Have a glass of and a sit down at the very thought

Seriously though, wise words from the others so far.

Behaviour - yes, it's important for everyone to tell the difference between us being just Plain Rude (which needs correcting) and us not coping because of routine/sensory changes/overloads. The right corrective action if we're rude is great, but the wrong actions at the wrong time = explosion/shutdown, which isn't handy. The diagnosis really helps parents and schools work out which is which.

Thanks also Ellen it's great to hav support

You are welcome, piglet. It was really late and I couldn't bear to think you might not get any responses until the morning. When we have great role models like Amberlight on the board and stories like Goblin's and the others it really gives us hope. I wouldn't change much about my DS these days. (maybe a little less lecturing about his latest obsession!)

Awww thanks so much your all so wonderful, your dcs sound lovely too such lovely youngsters. I dint know why people leave Mn based on AIBU the different groups have been wonderful , I have had 2 MC and the MC group have been wonderful tii

Sorry about my lack of expressive Lang not all that good with that

Yes it certainly does Ellen it's lovely to hear from others who have experienced it.