Transition conference for DS move to secondary tomoz. Advice please.

[EllenJane1]

My DS2 with HF ASD is going up to MS comprehensive in Sept. Tomorrow the advisory teaching service (communication and interaction) (read ASD) are hosting a transition conference for all the DC in our town that come under their umbrella that are trans to secondary this sept. The secondary schools Senco and transition coordinator, the primary Senco and TA, the primary advisory teacher and the one who covers DS's secondary will all be there. Oh yes, and DH and I. I'm not sure how many DC will be under discussion.

It all sounds like a great idea but my mind is a blank. I've no idea what issues may bother DS in secondary. I've had some advice already to make sure his passport includes getting a TA or teacher to write his homework for him in his hw diary as he will try to forget he has homework. Always an issue homework.

Any other ideas? Please?

Hi Ellen, my heads a bit melted tonight but things that spring to mind (hope I have picked you up right for starters!) - difficulty socially - specifically, times like breaktime and lunchtime can pose particular problems. Will he have somewhere quiet to go if these social times become too much?

Also you may need very specific information around when assignments are due to be handed in, exam timetables, that sort of practical stuff. His school timetable. The school may need to post these out to you separately as (if he is anything like my ds!) they may become a ball of mush in the bottom of a schoolbag.

Thanks Helen

I'm lucky that his big bro DS1 goes to the same school so some info will come via him. Tho I don't think he'll want DS2 cramping his style at break or lunch so chill out area very good idea.

I think they have a h/w club in their learning support dept which may help him also.

They actually have a really inclusive lovely SEN dept which is why I chose that school but I'm sure there are things they may miss.

It's great that he will have an older brother to keep an eye on him! the school sound pretty clued in really; homework club could be extremely helpful! x

Trouble is I think they cover most things but I just wanted others perspectives in case there was anything that had been a problem for them at secondary. I don't want to go along tomoz and say, "Yes, I'm sure it will all be fine and dandy" because there will be issues. I just don't know what they'll be.

He has 15 + 5 hrs on his statement. 15 qualified TA 5 lunchtime supervisor. Not sure how that will translate to a 26 hours of lessons week with only 45 min lunch break?

He's average ability when using a wordprocessor so I don't know how setting will affect him. He (hopefully) won't be in the lowest set so how will that affect TA support? He is a very reluctant worker. Lots of cajoling needed to get him to produce much. His maths used to be above average but he is reluctant to learn his tables etc so he's falling behind.

He doesn't have friends at primary. The other DC are nice but not on his wavelength. Who is, tbh? If they don't like final fantasy game, they won't be. Hopefully they'll look after him break and lunch. I'll confirm that tomoz.

Oh, I don't know? It's all really scary when it's been fairly safe for past few years. I'm just writing my thoughts really and rambling.

Homework club sounds good - you might also want to ask what other lunchtime clubs or activities are available so you can brief ds up-front if there is anything you think might spark his interest. The library is often a refuge for kids with sen - as well as the books they may have computers, board games, videos to watch.

I would want to know what the set-up is for communicating between home and school - whether you can email individual teachers or whether communication should go via the form teacher or senco.
Also who should ds communicate with during the day if he gets upset about anything. They might offer him an exeat card which he could show to the teacher if he needs to go out to learning support if getting stressed during a lesson. They may also offer a buddy scheme if your ds is struggling making friends. This probably won't all be appropriate/necessary for your ds but will give you a few ideas.

Ask about email communication with his tutor, or subject tutors or the SENCO.
My Ds is in Y11 MS and his teachers have been fantastic at giving me a heads-up on deadlines, or in reporting when things have gone wrong and asking for ideas, meetings or whatever to get things on track again.
He's never been out at playtime, they can choose to go to Learning Support instead.
I was very clear about what sort of areas might be issues and I made an A4 cribsheet with bullet points which I gave to everyone who was going to be dealing with him. I did say they could ignore it if they chose to, but that I'd done it with everyone's best interests at heart.
can't advise for your DS, but I was honest, pr-emptive and focused and that worked for us. Y7 was rocky, but everything has steadily improved since then.
Good Luck.

Thanks pinkorkid. I'll write your and Helen's suggestions down so I don't look too clueless. There aren't that many around with slightly older kids tonight it seems. I should have started this thread a few days ago.

Stress card sounds a great idea. I'm not sure how much TA support he'll get, maybe shared with another DC and different TAs depending on lesson.

I'm hoping communication will be better than at primary, but I guess more complicated with reams of teachers?

Just responding to you and Helen has made me think things through, so really thank you.

Time out card was good, when DS was stressed he became non-verbal and likely to go through any obstacle in his need to escape. They gave him a safe space to go to. This is in a school of 1500 pupils, so it's possible for any school if they work at it.

Thanks Goblinchild. Good communication keeps coming up. Best with subject teachers as well as learning support (SEN) dept, then? I'm sort of expecting y7 to be rocky! Nice to hear it can work out. You'll have to stay onboard! to give advice to us secondary newbies.

My DS isn't a flapper or anxious, he was highly aggressive although always as retaliation rather than initiating. The schoolwere keen on getting it right, and I kept telling them what a fantastic job they were doing when they were.
Or became very firm and clear when they weren't.
They were almost always well-intentioned.
PE dept was the worst, and took ages to understand what the reality was They've gone for benign ignoring of him now and that works fine.

DS isn't particularly anxious, but he's very 'reluctant' to do much in the way of work. He takes a lot of 'persuading'. He still has a few toddler style tantrums which just seem to be his personality. I'd love to be a fly on the wall if/when the pe dept try to get him to play football or rugby!

He is a flapper, but physically not mentally iykwim! I'm a bit worried about bullying as he's very vulnerable and behaves oddly. Hoping big bro will look out for him on the bus but obviously won't be able to during the school day. He only has 3 other children coming from his primary so it's a shame he won't have a big cohort who have been really tolerant with him.

Starting to stress a bit now! Deep breaths!

I'll be around if you need useful suggestions or a stiff gin. PM me if you want to have a private scream!
Things just got better and better as the years rolled by, although GCSE revision is like pushing a blancmange uphill as I said on a different thread.
6th Form is looking very positive too.
Primary was Not A Good Thing for DS. I've never been so close to HE.

Thanks everyone. I've got lots of ideas for tomorrow, now. Thanks for the hand-holding. How did you know about the gin?

Think I'll call it a night now.

Ooh, pushing a blancmange uphill. I'll have to try to drop that one into the conversation tomorrow. It's even better than herding cats!

I'm sure it's too early but wondered how you got on today?

Just an update.

We have had DS's transition conf and it all seemed to go really well. We had a long questionnaire to fill in with current and next school about his learning style, his strengths and weaknesses, triggers for behaviour, ways of dealing with them, sensory issues, communication routes etc etc.

The secondary school had a transition plan for up to the summer holidays with visits planned in, what each visit would cover, who needed to come.

They answered all my questions and were really positive. They even have their own toilet off the learning support corridor!

They'll do a buddy scheme if necessary, for things like the bus journey home, and they have staffed lunchtime and breaktime clubs in their dept for those who need/want it. (With a Wii!)

They have a computerised passport, which each teacher has access to on their laptop, which comes up when they take the register for each lesson so it's not as if they can pretend they haven't seen it. They are happy to put 'teacher or TA to fill in H/W diary.'

I met the parents of another DC with ASD who will be starting the same time. The school only have the 2 with statements for ASD starting in Sept. Others on SA+ obviously, and others with different needs, but he will get known, hopefully.

I'm actually really impressed.
It's the advantage of a big school that they have all this stuff as standard. The disadvantage, of course, is that he'll be one of many, and may get lost in the system, but they seem very proactive.

I blew it a bit when I had a little tear about him leaving his class of lovely, tolerant peers, but I think I got away with it.

Thanks Helen, cross-posted! It was a long one!

Does sound impressive, they seem really clued in which is reassuring!

I think it's only human to have a little blub about ds leaving his school and moving on!

Glad it went well x

that sounds really good ellen if you fancy it, lostinwales has started a secondary transfer thread over on sn education.

The new school sounds really good, EllenJane. I'm so glad they're being so helpful already. Hurray! :o

I may shamelessly steal some of the ideas from this thread though as lots of these could be useful for my ds.

Steal away! I'll have to go look at the SN education thread now. Unfortunately, don't always get time to look at each board, so tend to stick to this one, or have a look at SN teens. Thanks for the tip.

Glad you had such a positive meeting - they do sound clued up so that's great.

Glad it went well!