Ed psyche home visit today, she says son has PDA

[brandy77]

God its such a relief to be told "its not parenting", she seemed shocked when i even mentioned it. I told her that 2 years of school and CAMHS saying hes fine and its parenting, is enough to make anyone paranoid!

Anyway, she spent 2 hours at my home, son showed his true behaviours, which i knew he would as hes normally worse when people visit. She was brilliant and after an hour of him having fingers in ears, avoiding her and screaming when she spoke to him, he did switch (as he does!) to happy/hyper mode and did some visual tests with her. She said the sswitch is because he didnt know her and felt out of control and the anxiety is like apanic attack and then he realised she wasnt actually a threat so became happier, fascinating stuff!!

She said he cant go back to the mainstream school, relief to my ears as i didnt want him to go back anyway. She said he needs a special school with specialist teaching and 1:1, Occupational therapy and did warn me it is going to be hard getting him to attend school.

The way she described PDA so fitted my son, she said he has very high anxiety levels because he cannot face the demands of anything put upon him and overtalks/distracts/tantrums to avoid demands and when hes in control the anxiety lessens but heightens again as soon as the control has gone. God it so explains him. She told me to get him a trampoline, said he has sensory problems as he spins/bounces around loads.

Im so pleased ive heard those important words that it isnt my parenting

Thats great you have some support at last.
I would start looking at schools yourself if you haven't already.
I would think few would claim expertise in PDA
I now one NAS school which has a PDA unit / class - the kids still access the main part of the school but on a very individualised basis

wtg its fantastic to hear someone actually understands and has managed to glimps the real DS its a long roas to get SS but if shes recomending it that really will help a lot when my DS was little people schools other people we knew and the profeshionals all without actually saying it made out that it was my parenting skills i kept telling them ive 3 DC's the other two are NT and doing great in MS school im doing nothing different they even made out it was because he was the youngest sibling and the schools ed psy whn i first met her spent 2 hours questioning me and my DH on our personal relationship were happily married for 17 years all my DC's were planned i can see they have to ask a few questions but to dwell on it for the whole session anyway after 8 years he was dx as ASD (moderate) and is at SS so to hear its (X) is a relief and sadness mixed into one but the bit i was happy abut is NOW they will take me seriously and i will not stand for excuses from them any more where as before i was a bit of a sap and would go home feeling tearful and often humiliated, so good luck on your new path

Great! Fantastic news.

Trampoline is a good suggestion.

If you can afford it both retained reflexes therapy and sensory integration training help improve sensory problems.

Hope you manage to find him a great school.

I'm glad you're getting some help - about time!

I second the trampoline. My DS has the big one outside and a smaller rebounder in the living room. Keeps us sane!

Hope you find something suitable for school

Glad you had such a good experience.

Was going to say, I would recomend a gym ball for in the house, if you have room.

Dd3 is constant seeking sensory input and is never still. she loves her gym ball and sits/lies/plays on or with it all the time.

Trampolines can be expensive but if you buy the biggest you can fit in your garden [assuming you have an average garden] it will last him through teenage years. My 22 year old still goes on our 12 ft one..

Hi all, thanks for your replies. More good news

I phoned the EP today to ask her advice about the problems with home teaching my son and his aversion to learning, culminating in tears/tantrums.

She said that it isnt down to me to be teaching him as im losing my "mum" identity because of the struggle to get him to learn. She said she had spoken to the attendance man who sorts out home tuition and even though my son doesnt fit the criteria for home tuition, she said they are going to swing it so he gets it urgently as there is a lady available at the moment.

She also said that shes going to try and stop the tribunal in June as its obvious my sons needs havent been identified and he needs a SA and a statement. Hope she manages to do that. God this woman is a fast worker!

She also is still very put out that my son has been left this long and said that the school are playing games as they told her that there were no incidents with my son in reception and that he had perfect attendance! He attended 69.9% and had huge problems in reception. I told her of a few incidents and emailed more details about them. I really hope she has words with the Head as they have been like this with other parents, and its not on! She said that its good things are moving on now and i told her thats only because shes been involved for the last 4 weeks

PDA
What's that?

pathological demand avoidance ???

yes Pathological Demand Avoidance, its on the NAS website, so describes him BUT im aware when he sees the developmental they may say its not and disagree with the Ed.Psyche

Someone may come and correct me, but at a meeting with my LEA educational psychologist, he told me that EPs didn't diagnose, and were not qualified to do so. He told me only specialist paediatricians and clinical psychologists could make a dx.

But it is excellent news to hear your ds' difficulties have been recognized. My DS has a best friend who was diagnosed with PDA and was placed in a SS and is now doing well.

Good price for trampoline here my friend has it and it is of decent quality without the price tag.

www.focusdiy.co.uk/dispatcher?quickLiveProductCode=212102PRD

Yes i think youre right peaceflower, his paed in london has already diagnosed severe behavioural disturbance 2 year ago and the EP has said her bit and is hoping that the new paed will agree with what she says, which if its not PDA its something on the spectrum, its certainly not normal behaviour. Hes had so many bloody assessments over the last 2 years, all saying severe anxiety and i cant wait till its all finalised now. Great that your sons friend got the support he needed in a special school

Thanks for the link hotmama