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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

my DS needs mental help

17 replies

needcoffee1982 · 14/03/2011 09:57

he has not done a poo for a month, despite all the different medications been advised and suppositries. he thinks he never has to poo and noboby can talk sense into him because he just shuts down when he's being told things he doesnt want to hear. im getting sick of it now. it seems to be getting worse and he has never been able to do a normal poo. its like he has never learned to poo. its been going on for 7 years and i cant see it gettign better, only worse. dont know what to do. he cant stay home forever, but i cant send him to school while he's just smearing and staining his nappies. school make him wear pants though which i think is making the problem worse but they said he has to learn to use the toilet at some point. he dont like to poo anywhere as it is, so i can never see him doing it in the toilet. if i cant get thru to him then who can? perhaps psychologists or therapists or somebody like that?

OP posts:
ohmeohmy · 14/03/2011 10:49

I don't know the answer but sounds very challenging. We have toileting difficulties but not refusal as such and it drives me up the wall. I think you should try and get a referral for this. There must be developmental paed who can help somewhere.

NotRocketSurgery · 14/03/2011 11:04

There is a charity who specialise in toilet problems - I daren't google /spend time looking on mumsnet as I'm at work - but I'm sure I found out about it from a mumsnet thread - so search on here about toilet problems - or google - you should find it - I found they were more use than boy-scout-with-doctor-badge we were referred to who was convinced his diet was at fault [rolleyes]

NotRocketSurgery · 14/03/2011 11:05

www.eric.org.uk/ - came back to me

MADABOUTTHEBOY2000 · 14/03/2011 11:27

my ds had this and it stressed me out so much he also saw CAMHS and child paed nurses but all their suggestions were things id already tried is their a particular food that makes him go (like it or not) my ds goes if he has freash orange juice there are other medicines that work better than lactulose as this just softens it and suppositries is a bit harsh on one so young ,i expect youve tried everything but deffinately ask for urget ref to child development paed as they will first check its nothing physical then refer him to CAMHS in mean time i still sent my ds to school in pullups give the school extra ones my ds marked all time too im sure youve made sure he isnt scared of the toilet itself? i explained it and even though he ignored me for a long time visually with toy cars/trains that this is what your doing by stopping yourself all the trains waiting and backing up and how ill it will make him and you dont want to keep that yukky stuff in your bum (sounds silly i know). but we tried stickers , new toys if you go yada yada yada nothing worked in the end times and maturings only thing that worked he is nearly 11 and still has a pullup at night as he has sensory issues and doesnt get uncomfortable being wet but the poo side he has only now at nearly 11 started going to the loo(only in our house not at school or anywhere else) if he needs a poo in the middle of the day other than that he goes now regular as clockwork just before bed

Original poster
needcoffee1982 · 14/03/2011 11:54

his diet is a problem and has been ever since he was about 1, all he's eaten is crisps and chips since then and gluten free chicken nuggetts when i can get them. he is 7 now and hasnt eaten any fruit or veg since then

OP posts:
Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 12:07

needcoffee gosh, that sounds tough Sad

My ds1 (7) had a very restricted diet too and has not eaten veg since he was 2 and has never eaten a piece of fruit.

I know it is not my fault - my ds2 eats raw veg and loads a fruit every day! - but its hard not to blame yourself isnt it?

Ds1 will now eat pasta again and fish fingers so I feel a bit better about his diet. He will also eat fruit puree...you know, the jars of baby fruit puree? Like apple and blueberry or whatever, so he has one after his toast every morning. He will also eat tomato soup.

Would your ds try soup or fruit puree? Does he have milk? If so, how about a fruit smoothie?

Sorry if I am suggesting things you have already tried.

I agree with the others who have suggested a CAHMS referral.

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 12:08

...oh, and my ds1 will also not go for a poo at school either...waits til he gets home which can mean he gets constipated at times.

Original poster
needcoffee1982 · 14/03/2011 12:10

my DD eats very well and so therefore it cant be down to the way i bring them up. they both have coeliac disease and he has ASD which is why i cannot communicate with him because he just shuts down

OP posts:
shazian · 14/03/2011 12:19

needcoffee poor you and poor DS. What a trying time. My ds has lots of bowel problems. Been in hospital lots to have enema. Suppositries never worked. He is on movicol now which helps a great deal. I also often use syrup of figs which sometimes makes him go. Good luck hope you get sorted soon.

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 12:21

Do you think the problem is exacerbated by the coeliac disease?

What does the coeliac nurse say?

(Btw, wasnt suggesting your ds's problems were your fault, its just that I blamed myself for a long time and felt it was something I had done/hadnt done IYSWIM?)

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 12:21

movicol is good but you have to get it into him...would that be an issue?

Original poster
needcoffee1982 · 14/03/2011 12:47

thanks for all your advice but ive tried everything you have already suggested. dont know where to turn now. im worried he'll end up in hospital. has any over your DS/DD gone a month without having a bowel movement?

OP posts:
mumslife · 14/03/2011 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moosemama · 14/03/2011 13:30

Just a thought, but has he had physical causes ruled out?

I was reading the other day about a condition where the nerves of the bowel don't send the right message to the brain, so the child doesn't receive the signal that the bowel is full and needs to be emptied.

I just wondered, because I would have thought that after a month of not pooing, your ds would be in a lot of pain and if he's not, perhaps its because there's something else going on either as well as or instead of witholding.

If he's always gone for long periods without a bowel movement he's most likely got an overstretched bowel by now and I think that can lead to the loss of nerve function.

Oh - just a mo - found one of the links I was reading here.

From that it does sound likely that he's going to need an enema if he's gone a whole month without having a bowel movement. If its not sorted it can lead to all sorts of other more serious complications, so it sounds like a trip to the doctor is in order.

Becaroooo · 14/03/2011 21:12

Agree with moose

Original poster
needcoffee1982 · 21/03/2011 10:33

well mt DS ended up in hospital all week with them trying to get medication into both ends which didnt work and he ended up in surgery. his bowel muscles are near non existent and he is incontinent and on lots of different medications now

OP posts:
EllenJane1 · 21/03/2011 19:43

Oh, poor old DS, and poor old you! Hopefully you'll get some proper help and school will be a bit more sympathetic. Sad

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