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Original poster

School not doing all they can for my son

11 replies

Suzza · 12/03/2011 22:35

Hi there,
My son is having a really hard time as school. He started in Sept and is still no where near settled, the teachers cannot handle him and have for the time being refused him to stay for a full day. He is barely doing three hours until they call me to collect him. He has an assessment on Monday to see i he is autistic, I think he may have ADHD and poss ODD too. I don't know what to do. If he is autstic I hear horror stories that it take years to fight and fight for statements and to get help. He really needs 1:1 or he will never sit down and concentrate. Is there anyone that can give me some more info on the process of it all as I am so upset and need to talk to someone who understands..
Thanks.

OP posts:
pinkorkid · 12/03/2011 23:02

Hi Suzza, Sorry you are having such a worrying time at the moment. Even though your ds doesn't yet have a definitive diagnosis and may not have one even after the assessment on Monday - it's rarely that clear or quick - you can still apply to the lea for an assessment of his sen with a view to finding out if he needs a statement straight away simply on the basis that the school clearly can't meet his needs if they are calling you to collect him each day.

Although there are some cases where obtaining a statement takes a long time because of having to go to appeal, in practice it can take "only" the 26 weeks from first requesting an assessment to receiving the final statement.

Partnership with Parents are a good first port of call for help with understanding the statementing process and supporting you through meetings with the school and other professionals. There are a number of other advocacy services like ipsea, sossen, ace, national autistic society that offer advice. Also you can ring up or request online a free copy of the sen code of practice which describes the whole process, timescales, rights and responsibilites of all the parties involved in the process. You'll feel a lot more confident dealing with the whole process when you can read in black and white what should be happening.

TotalChaos · 13/03/2011 07:51

Might be worth getting in touch with local nas branch (national autistic society), to see wht grapevine has to say about schools etc locally, another school might be better at dealing with the behavioural issues.

Triggles · 13/03/2011 08:54

When you say they are refusing for him to stay for a full day, are they officially sending him home? Or is this in an "unofficial" capacity?? I've seen others discussing this on here (and I'm sure more will come along with more info that are more knowledgeable about it), but my understanding was that they need to either make it an official exclusion of some sort or learn to deal with him. They should be able to provide 1:1 for him for some hours, and there are agencies that provide funding for 1:1 that they can apply to - our school did that for DS2 so that he could have 25+5 hours of 1:1 until he can get a statement (which we are now waiting on).

You say he just started in September, so I get the impression he's 4 and in reception? I'd insist on a meeting with the senco (see if someone from parent partnership will come along if you're uncomfortable pushing for things) and insist that they tell you what's being done, what's available, and what you expect. Be very clear that you expect them to step up and meet his needs, and if they can't, what they are going to do to fix it. If nothing else, at least you'll know where you stand at that point.

Best of luck! I get so frustrated when I see people struggling to get services for their children that should be provided without fuss from the school. Angry Because it's always the child that suffers from the lack of help.

IndigoBell · 13/03/2011 11:01

Sorry to hear you and your DS are having such a hard time.

You need to apply for a statement yourself - today.

And if he's over 5 they can't 'not have him all day'. They can't make you pick him up if you don't want to.

If he's under 5 I'm not sure if the law is the same or not.....

IndigoBell · 13/03/2011 11:02

Perhaps ring your local parent partnership.

Original poster
Suzza · 15/03/2011 14:08

Hello everyone, wow thanks for all your messages. I needed that so upset today. He was diagnosed with autism yesterday, i am not sad about that at all he is my baby and I accept him whatever but so sad about how he feels at school. Last week I was called three times to pick him up early at 11ish! today was 11.10 it is getting beyond a joke and I am trying to keep a job down and it is starting to affect that now too. Luckily my Manager is amazing! I spoke to the headmistress today and she mentioned that as he needs clear visual boundaries and the classroom has no door that maybe the school isn't the right place for him. Humn from the horses mouth!!!! I am so considering taking him out BUT am worried that the situ will be the same somewhere else and also there will be staff to help him there either so not going to make much difference. It has only just begun and already I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. I have already asked for a statement but it is so negative everyone saying how hard it is and that you need loads of evidence. Pity the bloody board don't come and see the poor helpless child at school! argh.........

OP posts:
Original poster
Suzza · 15/03/2011 14:11

Triggles - they are trying to slowly introduce more hours like do an full day every two weeks but he cannot manage a handful of hours at mo! The headmistress did say today that she is advertising for a 1:1 support for 3 hours a day, At least that is something...just not sure if I want that there!
It is a rubbish system and we are all just trying to cope everyday we don't need all this s""t!

Thanks for your help.

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 15/03/2011 14:27

He will easily get a statement if the HT is already trying to get him 1:1 support.

Doesn't sound like the right school though. Do you have any other options?

Original poster
Suzza · 16/03/2011 23:15

Really do you think so or know so?!?!?!?

I know! Yes there is one other option but I worry that it will just be the same situ and will they want him, not with his track record of late he has a very bad CV!! Also the school he is at is at least getting some 1:1 support it is so difficult. I might go and see the other school anyway just for another option. argh I don't know. What do you think?

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Original poster
Suzza · 16/03/2011 23:15

Really do you think so or know so?!?!?!?

I know! Yes there is one other option but I worry that it will just be the same situ and will they want him, not with his track record of late he has a very bad CV!! Also the school he is at is at least getting some 1:1 support it is so difficult. I might go and see the other school anyway just for another option. argh I don't know. What do you think?

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