New house, new school, ASD, my neighbours adding 2+2=5 :(

[isolatedsnmum]

I'm putting this here, as well you'll understand.

I'm so upset. I'm in a new area, I moved last week. Son ASD. Been up all night, most nights, as he does not like the noise the heating makes sigh

Anyway last night DH's car, blerdy alarm going off att 22.30, couldn't get it to shut up, struggling to get battery out. Had to call RAC.

Hubby shouting (not like that) so I could hear to find ins/rac details as we have just moved, it's in boxes.

Me not being able to as I was dealing with the kids.

Great first impression eh? Car alarm blaring at that time, lots of stressing trying to sort it. Then ASD son stirs and guess what? Has full on melt down. SCREAMING, I mean proper SCREAMING. Screaming at the noise. Sleepy so it was worse. You know the sort, the type where they are not really with you and nothing you do will calm them down. SO he starts the other kids off. At this point I'm getting quite upset as I hate seeing him like this and there is nothing I could do. Car alarm going, kids all awake, husband telling me we need to find RAC dets.......and on it goes.

The police knocked on my door, someone reported a domestic! Now I can see how it appears from the outside, so I can see why they reported it.

But if only they'd spoken to me, introduced themselves, anyone, they'd have know the situation, my children do not look disabled, but are.

Melt downs like this are rare, and it was the last straw I think, with all the change for him. But they do ocassionally screa, and make funny loud noises. So am I going to be reported everytime? I don't even know who it was, to apologise to, or expalin.

The police were here 5 mins, I told them, they saw what was going on, wished us luck settling in and left.

I know I'm a good mum, I'm just so hurt. Now I'll be known as the Mum who had the police out to her screaming kids, on the close jungle drums.

Bang goes my chance of making any friends here :(

I am so sorry-When I moved,I had a chance to speak to my neighbours before ds had his first meltdown-

Be brave if you can -begin with your immediate neighbours-Apologise for the noise(though is wasn't your fault) and explain the situation-It sounds like an awful night for you- good luck

Sound's like a bit of a nightmare :(

Maybe try and find the neighbour that knows everyone (there's always one!) and tell her the truth, everyone will soon know. Lots of smiles when out and about, always say hello to everyone you see, maybe worth apologising to both imediate next door neighbours, I know there is nothing for you to apologise for, but it is just a way of opening the conversation.

I do have an inkling of how you feel, my next door neighbour has a DD with ASD, so she should know better but we still get complaints about noise, we have learned to ignore!

Sorry x posts.

Oh you poor thing, what a horrible start to life in your new home.

Could you maybe identify a friendly, yet gossipy sort of neighbour over the next couple of days and tell them what happened, why there was screaming and how embarrassed you feel about it all.

My experience of jungle drums is to make sure you get your own message banged out loud and clear before people get the chance to start making up their own version of events. I'm sure most people will understand and if there's one or two that don't, its their problem, not yours.

Trying to look on the bright side, it does sound like you've moved to an area where people care enough to not to turn a blind eye. Either that, or there's likely to be one busybody that everyone knows about and takes no notice of anyway.

It doesn't mean you won't have a chance of not making any friends there, in fact now you have a reason to strike up a conversation along the lines "hello, sorry if we disturbed you last night, what happened was ......"

I'm sure it will be fine.

That is shit.
But take a deep breath and think about how this happened so that you can avoid it in future.

As others have said, you put in your op 'if only they had spoken to me, introduced themselves'. That is no more their fault than yours. You could have knocked on the door to say hi and explained.
When I moved I went to all the neighbours and explained especially as the change would unsettle ds2.

Don't feel upset and negative about it.

Go round with a box of chocs and apologise for the drama. You can even say ' we must have alarmed you - all that noise and shouting. But this is why and this is what we are doing to help ds settle in.

I will put money that they will be fine. My neighbours have been great.

It isn't a tragedy. Just go round now before it becomes awkward. Then they really will be .

Another cross post.

Good that we all think it can be resolved by a chat with your neighbours though.

Good luck.

I think, like moose said, execellent opportunity to knock next door and apologise for the noise of the car alarm and explain as much as you are comfortable with about ds. I'm sure the curtain twitchers would have seen how quickly the police left and take it all was well. Moving is no fun, you have my sympathies, hope ds is ok this morning.

x cross posts too

Ah. Poor you.

Try not to worry. I'd find the street busybody and explain your son's difficulties. Hopefully, they will pass it around.

It was a horrible thing to happen and I hope you can resolve it with the neighbours.
But there is another side to it and you might just have been glad of the "interfering" if it had been domestic violence.

Poor you, as if moving home isnt stressful enough. I would try speaking to immediate neighbours, apologise for noise etc and explain about ds having asd. Hopefully they will then let others know and all will be sympathetic with you. When i first moved into this house (been here 8yrs now), my neighbour said to someone i know "think somethings going on in that house cos the child screams continually". I was really hurt to think anyone would think id do anything to any of my 3 sons. Anyway i then knocked their door and explained about ds having severe autism, and at time was in & out hospital due to screaming for no apparent reason (turned out to be bowel problems). Neighbour was mortified and apologised, now all my neighbours are fab and very understanding. Good luck in your new home, hope ds settles soon.