Asd, abstract thinking and homework tips or ideas please

[Thecarrotcake]

We have a new issue, well it won't be new, it will be that as ds is getting older and he's now in secondary, it has come very much to light.

Ds came home with a homework sheet, got in a complete tiz because it was " just a sheet of dots, with no instructions'.

So I through the trumps and there was instructions, but ... They were half way down the Second side inbetween the two halves of the homework, and they weren't titled as instructions.

He didn't even think, " I can't see any instructions, I'll look through the sheet to see if I can find some".
Which tbh he wouldn't.

This isn't the first time this has happened since moving up schools.

So I need a really good way of teaching him to "look" for information if it's not where he expects it.

TIA I'm popping out for a bit but I will be back :)

Carrot, my ILs are chronic Daily Fail readers - and its all true y'know - every word!

There's no way they would ever even meet us halfway, as a result they know very little about us and what our life is actually like and only know their grandchildren on a very superficial level.

We of course are cast as the baddies in all this for not visiting enough etc (never mind that they only live a ten minute drive from our house and yet never visit us - but that's another story). There's just no point in going into battle with them when we know we can never win and no matter what we do we will still always come out as the bad guys.

Interestingly for me, ds1's pregnancy was probably the least stressful, I was extremely chilled out and happy right up until the last trimester when they found his abdominal measurement was below the bottom centile and he was only on the 2nd centile overall, cue much panic, weekly growth scans and doppler scans twice a week, until he suddenly decided to have a growth spurt in week 40 and ended up on the 9th at birth (is still there actually).

I was trying to get some idea of where in the brain his problems are rooted and then look up at what point in the pregnancy that part of the brain develops. I think its most likely the right cerebral hemisphere, which I think develops prior to 20 weeks. The interesting thing is that it has another spurt between the ages of 7 and 11 and ds seems to just be going through some sort of 'leap' at the age of almost 9. I have so many questions, but it would seem am not of high enough intelligence to be able to make sense of what little information I can find on the subject.

That's really interesting, moosemama. You always want to know why this dc, why not the others (so much) Was it an accident of genes or something environmental? I know genes are important as all 3 DSs are spectrumy but why DS2 so much? Middle child so neither youngest mum or oldest mum. Seems to have had the least maternal testosterone going by finger ratio. Easiest pregnancy, easy birth? I can't fathom it at all? Unless he would have been lower functioning without all other factors and more down to his genes?

I go through phases of telling myself its impossible to ever know why so I should stop torturing myself and get on with my life, but then it all just bubbles back up, when I read a new theory or find a new article or sometimes just because I'm looking at my lovely boy and thinking 'why him'.

I'm also an inveterate researcher. I honestly love a good Google and can happily while away hours looking at the synopses (sp?) of different books on Amazon. (See there's those traits again!)

Moose I think at this moment in time no-one actually knows, which is why it's so difficult to find the research papers out there on it.

I do however think it is more of a combination of things rather than just genetic. ( and it's that varient ( sp) that is making itdifficult to pin point for the bods in that field).

I am very much a 'why' person, I don't like loose ends, but I think I'll never have the answer.

Silly thing is, all of my dc's were tested for a not so good gentic nasty that is in my side of the family. I was very very relieved when test showed they were clear. I never for a moment even considered ASD.

And it was only going through the dx with ds, that actually there is a lot of undxed asd in ds's history.

Yup, I think that's it Carrot. I reckon there's a genetic predisposition along with certain number of variables, which when they come together in the right (or should I say wrong) way result in ASD.

As you said, the medics/researchers can't determine a cause, because there is no one cause, there are just combinations of variables and I think that's why it can present so differently from person to person as well. It depends on which combination of variables it was that tipped the balance - if that makes sense.

Ok, I get that. That's what I've always thought and to be honest I can't imagine DS2 any other way. I've come to terms long ago with DS2s DX. I do think about grandchildren sometimes. It would be good to know why some DC are more affected than others.

The world would be a less interesting place without the different way of looking at things that ASD brings. There would be less high level maths and technology without all the DX and unDXed people with ASD through the ages. I wouldn't wish severe autism on anybody but I think there is a place in the world for my DS.

Yup I totally agree.

Although I also think that in HFA /AS or the more socially personally able end of ASD could actually not be a bad combination tbh.
As we do need people who intensly focus on the details the majority miss.
I think it was tony attwood who said something along the lines of " you don't suffer from AS you suffer from others!"

barring impulsivity, sensory and some self care, I think this is quite true.

And I love temple grandin talking about strengths of people on the spectrum.

But this is why I fight the fight to get the help ds needs to cope with school. He is very academically able, what is holding him back is his big weakness in social achievement.

Let's face it, talking in binary and correcting mistakes teachers make in class doesn't do him any favours at all.. So he fails socially and then academically as a knock on effect.

But put the boy in an environment that suits him and he'll achieve. ( once he finds where the instructions are lol)
yet we can't do this on our own, school have him for 30 hours a week.

I'll stop babbling lol

X posted with ellen.

Well done for pulling this thread back on track! I'm better prepared for ds2's transition conference next week now. It's great to have people to talk to who have already been there.

Same here, Carrot, ds is highly able academically, but his social and sensory problems are starting to hold him back.

I definitely agree that the world would be a much poorer place without all the dx and undx'd cases of ASD throughout history and the present day.

My Mum went on an ASD awareness course the other week and the tutor there had her own take on it. She strongly felt that ASD is an evolutionary step that nature is taking it time to perfect and that eventually it will be the nts who are in the minority.

That made me think of Brenda Boyd's little essay on what life would be like on a planet that consisted entirely of people who have ASD. The reality is it would probably be a much better place.

I know my ds has such a lot to offer this world, what bothers me is whether the world will want to listen to and see him.

:)

ellen you'll be fine, i would however make sure you ask about a review for end of September begining of october to look at how things are going and if anything needs changing. Any issues should show themselves by around that time :)

toilets were also a huge issue in starting secondary for ds. So of this may apply to you, remember toilet provision.

DH says that a world full of ASD would mean no-one would have babies as they'd never get it on. If they had any children by some amazing chance they'd just get left somewhere! School would be against the law as would swimming lessons.

In my ds's ideal ASD world, it would be statutory to wear pjs 24/7, he'd definitely agree with school and swimming lessons being against the law, as would be the consumption of chocolate, potatoes, peas, beans and sweetcorn - but he would definitely want children, as he absolutely adores babies.

That said, he would most likely forget he was looking after said babies and leave them behind or something (as dh's father did with dh and his brother when they were 2 and 3 - went home with the dog and left them both alone in the park! )

This could be a whole new thread! Too tired for it now. Goodnight.

Blimey is that the time?

Night Ellen.

:) night ellen

:) moose

well I'm in bed waiting for the night shift to start with ds2.
< ponders upon what will be yelled tonight!>

12 years I tell you, 12 years!

If the world all had asd it would be a constant 24/7
agree with pjs although swimming would have to stay.

There would be no chit chat and only factual information exchanged... But no-one would hear it :)
so it would all be done via computer.

have to say in this family if something can't be found the person is asked did you look for it, or did you do 'bloke looking'?

(amd also now looking at my fingers and measuring