What happened to MY life? long moan sorry

[AboardtheAxiom]

Does anyone else feel like this at times?

I used to childmind but DS (ASD) couldn't manage it, tried a nursery (me working and him having a place there) didn't work he regressed dramatically.

DS is at school full time now but I am still so tired out (have just gone back on antidepressants), I have had to take a rest period of 6 months from the volunteer role I had, and halted my driving lessons.

I feel so stuck in a rut. Everything I do revolves around DS, I love him so so much but I feel like I have no life apart from as his mum, advocate and carer. And yes I know this is an important job but when people ask me if I work I see this judgemental look on their faces and I hate it. I've always worked and hate being judged on not having a job.

If I were to find a job (just been looking there is zilch in my area) what would I do with DS? He wouldn't cope in childcare and I could never afford a nanny! He is still in nappies, doesn't like crowds, etc. He slapped me across the face the other day for looking at him!

I'm doing an OU course in autism which finishes soon, and an early bird couse.
I just don't see anyway I can get my life back on track and feel a bit fed up about it today. {moan over}

It's very hard to find anything to fit in around your children with SN. I eventually decided to try working as a 1 to 1 TA. It uses my knowledge of ASD and fits in around my DSs. It's not well paid tho and it depends if you need the money to live on. It's also not as stressful as a proper teaching role which I didn't feel I could give enough commitment to.

To be honest I didn't go back to work until DS2 was 8. Up until then just looking after him and his bros was enough.

Yes that would probably be the most ideal job in terms of hours, term time, can use my personal experiences. My background is childcare so I'm not expecting a high wage when I do return to work.

I think all I can do for now is try and do any courses that fit in and wait until DS is a little older.

I can understand you waiting until yours was 8. DS is 6 but still is in nappies, still doesn't sleep properly, is very emotionally full on. I sometimes feel like I'm parenting a toddler rather than a school aged child.

Yeah, get that! DS2 has DS3 nearly 3 years younger and it was like having twin toddlers for ages.