do we need to worry? and if so, what should we do?

[MamaChocoholic]

ds1 is 3yo. he has always been extremely shy - to the point that he can't speak in front of people he doesn't know. he didn't speak at all at nursery for about 8 months, wouldn't even cry when hurt. I spoke to the HV when ds1 was about 18 months, who suggested a SALT, who finally assessed him in nursery a couple of months ago and said he's fine as he talks there. yes, he does, but he won't talk eg if DP or I are there with a nursery worker or in any other unfamiliar setting. and in places/with people where is able to talk, he now hides his eyes for the first few minutes of being there.

he was also very slow to make eye contact as a baby, he never smiled at a stranger - we can really see the difference now we have two little babies who made eye contact from very early on. he's also very timid about new things, doesn't like to ride a bike/play football in case he gets hurt.

finally, he really, really likes things to be in their right place, and for his routines to proceed in exactly the same way each day (eg meltdown tonight when I tried to undo his belt rather than dp).

I don't know, written down, this doesn't really sound like anything. he's a mostly happy boy, but just different from his peers. that's fine, but I keep imagining that when he goes to school he will be the quiet boy who sits ignored in the corner, and I want to avoid this.

should we be worried? and if so, what can we do to help him?

If you still have concerns you should go back to your HV or GP. You know your child best and as they get older if there are any differences between him and his peers they'll start to show up more. Be PITA and get him referred to a developmental paed. Say you are worried that he might have dyspraxia or something. (he probably hasn't, I certainly can't DX, but some of his behaviours might be consistent with Dyspraxia or ASD) Take a list of all your concerns. Better to get it checked out early if only to put your mind at rest. HTH.

zzzzz that's good to hear. his language is fine. we have good conversations and he narrates all his play at home. He is fairly picky about food, but not exceptionally for a 3yo. he likes different food to be separate and will eat all of one thing before starting another (eg all fish before chips), but then so do I so I think that's normal!

EJ1 HV did say she would follow up after he didn't talk at his 2.5 year check. maybe the first thing we should do is go back to her. I don't want to medicalise him unnecessarily, but want to avoid him standing out as different as he grows up, so am keen to learn what I can do to help.

I was the same. I'm ok now.