Agressive behaviour & SPD

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Hello. My Ds is in Yr2 and has got sensory porocessing disorder -mostly in the vestibular/auditory senses. We are seeing an OT, and recently finished an 8 week session with an optomitrist with good effect.

The main problem seems to be noise & DS reactions to it. He will openly discuss with me how his brain gets scrambled when the classroom is busy, and playtimes are a particular flashpoint. He is frequently in trouble for hitting and hurting other children. He cannot seem to control his impluse to lash out at others.

He hit a smaller child in the stomach recently, and when questioned by the teachers to why? he replied that I had called him mean that morning, so mean was in his head. I really don't remember calling him mean, and am trying to label behaviours and not him ie, I will say that hitting someone is a mean thing to do, not that he is mean for doing it.
So, DS has now been referred to an Educational psychologist (which I am happy for) but I feel like school are suggesting that there is something else going on (??ADHD), when I feel like this aggression is born out of the frustration of having to deal with his sensory issues.

Am I being unreasonable? Deluded? I have since spoken to my GP to get a community paeds appointment. I don't know what else to do.

Sorry for the long post. Any advice would be gratefully received.

He is probably hitting out to make it go away. Other people juwt happen to get in the way. School need to sort out a quiet area for him to go to so he can complete his work at these times. Does he have an IEP? if not, get him one with decent SMART targets immediately - that will set out what the school are doing to help him manage his behaviour. With the issues you describe above, I would be pushing for a Statement too, although that will take longer.

Short term, invest in a good quality pair of ear defenders and get school to encourage him to use them , google Compression and Brushing (there's a good youtube tutorial, let me know if you want me to see if I can find it again), see if you can borrow a weighted blanket which may help to "ground" him... And gird thy loins for what could turn into an almighty battle to help your little lad

Thank you purplepidjin. He is currently doing therapeautic listening via the OT - 2 x 30mins of headphone listening to music at different frequencies. Supposed to help with this over a period of 3-6mths.

Will investigate ear defenders. We do steamroll occassionally (when he asks for it) with a big exercise ball. He loves it!!

We started with an IEP - although it was mostly about getting stickers for getting through the day without pushing,kicking or hurting someone. TBH it wasn't very effective and I think it has gone by the way side. This was in October, and we went straight to a private OT, as he wasn't failing academically enough to warrant a NHS referal from school.

Am still very new to all this. How will a statement help? He was told that he would have a teacher shadow him at playtimes, but if he has a couple of good playtimes in a row it again seems to fall by the wayside..

Battle is the right word [sad

Steamroll sounds good, also maybe wrap him in his duvet and give bear hugs? DNiece likes to go under the sofa cushions (although wasn't too bothered by a weighted blanket) and loves whole body hugs - arms and legs around her tight (I don't do this with people at work, btw, only the ones I'm related to )

A Statement is a legal document outlining exactly how the school and LEA are going to help your child to achieve at school. I'm not an expert on them, but there is loads of advice on this board, just scroll through the first page or two!!

The IEP needs to be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Recordable, Targetted. So, a sticker for not hitting people with be worth, politely, fuck all if it doesn't concentrate on why he is hitting or put strategies into place for why he does it.

A SMART target would be something along the lines of "DS becomes aggressive when the classroom is noisy." Specific "This happens around 3 times per day" Measurable "He will be provided with a seat outside the classroom, and expected to complete his work there with TA support when the classroom is noisy" Achievable "DS will be given a sticker and praised when he leaves the classroom with the TA." Recordable "This will reduce the sensory overload DS experiences and reduce his outbursts of aggression" Targetted.

I think

Hello. Afraid i do not have any experience here lovey, but just wanted you to know that i am thinking of you all, and hope you manage to get some help soon. Take care. xx

Agree with purple, sounds like he needs more support at breaks and access to quieter areas if stressed at break. The statement is legally enforceable in a way ieps are not.

Also wonder does your ds have problems with conversation or understandinf instructions if he is doing listening program, as that cld also be affecting his behaviour

Thanks everyone - had his hearing tested at nursery as he was reacting badly (pushing other children away etc) but was felt to be fine. Certaintly need to catch his attention and I get him to repeat back to me what I have just asked him to do if I think he wasn't listening. School have said that he struggles to follow instructions.

I spoke to our psychologist at work who will see him if the wait for the Ed psy is more than 6-12mths (!!) and she suggested that the starting of the listening program may have set his behaviour back at bit (going to get worse before it gets better)

School are also concered that he shows no remorse about the agression. I think he actually doesn't know why he does it, so can't say sorry iyswim??? The more he trusts the adult at school, the greater the explaination/display of remorse is.

H esounds very much like my ds1 who has a dx of AS: tehe is much overlap betwen SPD and AS, as you probably know.

Absolutely time out areas; helps ds1 enormously. NAd help getting access to help if that makes sense- last thing ds1 can do in a noisy busy place is process the appropriate ways to seek help. He has coloured flash cards, a bit like footie ones, he can wave at dinner aldies so they know to get him to a time out zone or find his TA.

I am wondering about his understanding capability: I don't mean IQ: ds1's IQ is really high. I mean alsmot processing cause and effect or social situations. For example if a child knocks ds1 he perceives that as intentional so lashes out to retaliate. He can;t grasp difference between accidental and intentional. Your son may well be fine on that comprehension but look at social stories, they can work for any child (except ds1 mind, who has some kind of God complex )

And you know ther are some silly simple things you can do to screen out noise- ear defenders yes, but even if you get a alrge box, tear out the top, base and one side so you are left with a 3 sided 'wall' and place it aorund his desk so to act like one of those expensive screened ones found in ASD bases. headphones yes; if he won;t wear proper big ones in school, he ight find cheap stereo headphone smake enough of a difference and look more 'cool'. I ahve foound a lot of ASD kids don't like the in the ear ones but your son might as his issues will be a bit different.

And YY to the duvet thing- aka the 'sausage roll'; also ds3 wears a heavy coat a lot as the weight is comforting to him. Ditto slightly too tight jumpers.

Absolutely a statement sounds worth seeking: a chat with IPSEA or SOS!SEN will help you decide.

thank you, there are some wonderful suggestions here. I will arrange (another) meeting with DS's teacher to discuss putting them into action.

The most frustrating thing is how inconsistent the school's approach to him is. That I don't know how to change. Still, I will try.