ADHD?

[TheMaleyDale]

I have a member of my family who has some odd behaviours and I was wondering is this rang true please?

On the surface, he appears to be on the spectrum, coming across as rude, blunt, and misreading social situations, as well as not repairing them when they go wrong. He prefers attention to detail over the big picture and he is extremely egocentric.

However, he is also extremely emotionally intelligent, can debate from any/every angle and usually prefers to take the angle that will most antagonise the others in the social situation.

I'd appreciate any thoughts on this.

Tia

Why do you think ADHD rather than ASD?

And when you say 'member of my family' - do you mean someone who is looking to get a dx?

No, although I expect he would love a dx. He likes anything that makes him 'special'.

It's his ability to be emotionally manipulative that makes me doubt an ASD.

However, the person I am talking about isn't a child and could well have devised coping strategies or shaped his behaviour and present differently.

I have a ds with ASD, and know an awful lot about ASD in children. This person just doesn't appear the same at all.

I'm not sure maleydale; initially reading your post I would have thought perhaps on the spectrum rather than adhd, poss Aspergers.

Would this person have high activity levels? Difficulty following instructions, present in adulthood as being a bit "chaotic" perhaps? (not suggesting that you have adhd just because you are chaotic!) There are many other traits.

Perhaps, oppositional defiance disorder?

Or just to check out, without meaning any offence, are there any mental health difficulties?

I thought more Aspergers or ASD as well on initially reading the post. Honestly, DS2 has suspected ADHD/ASD and he's farrrrr too busy pinging around mentally (and physically ) to put a lot of thought or effort into manipulating people. It requires far more patience and reasoning (to organise mentally how best to manipulate someone) than he would be capable of. Obviously you're speaking about an adult, not a 4yo, but it just doesn't seem quite the same, IYSWIM.

i think need to hear a lot more eg of possible traits and eg of situations as could be anything , an adult you say but how old? and how did they get on at school ect

I wouldn't have thought ADHD tbh. Not known for attention to detail and though the impulsive type might well blunder socially, they'd be far more likely to throw a wobbly than calmly set up an argument.

Fwiw, I've heard a disproportionate % of people on philosophy degree courses (ie a degree in arguing) have ASD: HFA/Aspergers' presumably as there's a lot of communication in it. So I don't think that rules anything out in itself. Plus if you're looking at milder conditions/traits so many of conditions overlap, including as HM says, mental health issues in adults particularly, that it takes a trained shrink to separate them out and it's not at all unusual to have a number of different things mixed up. Having been through some of that diagnostic process, as much of it is about filling the questionnaires for differential diagnosis between lots of conditions as for trying to diagnose just one thing and we're done.

Sounds a lot like me and my dad

Seriously I spent my teens and twenties picking verbal fights with everyone I could find. Can be rude, abrupt and mis read social situations. However now 40+ much more gentle and tend not to pick fights with people because they are not enough of a challenge.

We are intelligent and successful on a limited understanding of the word - ie: me ex solicitor and my dad highly successful business man. But lacking that much in emotional intelligence.

Presently assessing my 9 year old for ASD and I recognise quite a lot of the symptoms in me.

Hmm, I think I am just trying to find an alternative for the behaviour that isn't NPD.

The person is my dad. He is 64.

Hmmm... well, my dad could fit that bill, and he's just old and cranky. LOL

Hope you can find the info you're looking for.

Maleydale, NPD was what I was thinking about also; however really wouldn't rule out Aspergers,have a look at Tony Attwood's book.

I have a feeling there may have been an NPD thread in mental health a while ago - you could have a look (I can't do that link thingy, sorry!)