DD's (age 4yr 8 month) teacher has asked our GP to refer DD to a paed - DD ticks a lot of boxes for poss Aspergers...? Any advice appreciated...

[josben]

Can anyone tell me what to expect to happen..?

DD has always struggled in social situations, she has had delayed S & L, some aggressive behaviour, obsessional about spinning wheels, struggles with fine motor skills...

I am desperate for any advice or help anyone can give me - keep crying at drop of a hat...

You are already on the road to he, it's great that your Dd's teacher has enough knowledge to recognise the signs, many don't.

Come hear for advice and support there are loads of people arround with loads of advice.

I have 3 Dd's, 2 are on or around the spectrum and 1 is not.

Be kind to yourself

And read Tony Attwood's Complete guide to aspergers.

It does sound like there's something worth investigating. It might seem to take a long time to get any diagnosis but you are on the road to getting your DD the help she needs. What support is she getting at school? Have they suggested getting an Ed Psych to see her? Does she see a SALT?

Whatever happens, she's still your lovely daughter, she hasn't changed. It's a hard time when you realise there may be concerns with your DC so give yourself time to cry and be upset.

Hi, my DS1 has severe AS, and DS2 is shortly to be evaluated. The best piece of advice I have been given is that even if your DD gains a label, it doesn't change them in any way, it does give you more ways to be able to help them. I love all my DSs dearly because of who they are, despite all their oddities, knowing that they can't help their oddities just helps me deal with them better without getting so frustrated.
Be prepared to be interogated! You will be asked loads of developmental history, so it is worthwhile starting to write down things now as and when you notice. eg. write down when your child has a tantrum, and what started them off. I can guarantee for example that I will have a tantrum from one of the DSs each day as they both have a particular route that they want to walk home from school. Unfortunately DH took DS1 the first time, a different way to the way I took DS2. So they both have different routes. Cue hysterics on the way home everyday!!! Write it down even if it doesn't seem relevant, eg. I wrote down that DS1 led me to door handles so I would open them - I thought it odd, but had no idea it was an autistic trait. Looking back on my lists from 4 years ago it is amazing how much DS has changed.

I hope your ok. Take time to digest it and prepare for a long journey. In my experience a development paediatrician may do an initial assesment followed by a referral to a team; SALT/Psych/Paed. They will ask you many questions about early development and behaviours, SALT asessment and maybe some cognative tests too. It took us about 8 months to verbal dx and a further two to get written reports/dx.

Feel free to PM me questions, my DD is 5.4 and was diagnosed last August. She also has speech problems too.

Medicinal helps...and a good cry.

marking my space to come back tomorrow when I am awake enough to give you a useful answer.
I have 2 girls with ASD :)

Thank so much for your posts.

Littlemissgreen - I think you are so right, I agree that if/when DD does get a dx it will help me understand and deal with her 'oddities', tantrums, aggressive behaviour, meltdowns better. Infact I do feel a bit bad that I have told her off for some of her her unreasonable behaviour - when I probably should've dealt with it differently...?

But there are many times that DD is incredibly sweet and loving,she can be lovely at times with her 2 older brothers who are very good with her. she is very huggy with adults and probably speaks more to adults than other children - is that a common trait?

She has had S & L sessions, but was discharged - her speech is quite clear but she struggles with putting her thoughts into words and doesn't communicate effectively (esp with other children)
I have been worried about DD's social skills for a long time, but its since she started school that her teacher told me last week at parents evening that she doesn't play with any other children, she seems to be in a world of her own and chatters along (quite happily) to herself... She is also struggling to understand some things and also to follow instructions, they are using picture cues to help with which order to hang up her coat and bag etc.

My DH is in denial that there is anything wrong and doesn't want to talk about it - I don't think he even wants to think about the possibilty of a dx- my Mum is the same...

What was the first paed appt like - will the paed observe my DD?

The paed will probably observe your DD and will ask you loads of questions about her development and quirks to get a history. At my DSs first appt the paed wouldn't DX but did tell us when we asked 'what could it be?' Gave us the chance to google it without it being definite. He was DX with ASD about 6 months later after she observed him at nursery and one more appt with me and him. Still came as a nasty shock, we needed time to grieve and get over our denial phase. Hope all goes well. Write down any q you have as you will forget some of them.

They did in front of mine but he was just three and not verbal so it didn't matter. Not sure when they are older. He was just playing with all the lovely (slightly grubby) toys!

you arent likely to get a dx on first appointment. They will spend time with you and dd and observe her, speak to you and may go into school.
Its good you have school suport your already half way there.
They did ask us lots of questions with our girls and infront of them but tbh DD1 was too busy with speech lady and DD2 is too young to understand.

There is huge differences between girls with ASD and boys, so when your doing reading just understand a lot is written about the boys.

I would recommend you start a diary about her behaviours as they will ask for examples in the assessment and its hard to remember everything.

I wouldnt feel guilty about telling her off, we still do it and I know my girls have ASD, we are just parentings struggling along.
Take some time and remind yourself she is still the same child she was last week but this might give you the insight into her behaviours.
Where are you? Is there any support groups nearby?

Thanks again for your posts.

Lisa I think that there is a group in a nearby town - but I would feel a bit odd going along when I don't have a dx..?
But I would really like some helpa with how to handle her behaviour, strategies at home would be a great help as we do struggle with DD, So I think that it would be a good thing to do...

I have started writing things down as I know i will forget stuff when we get our appt through - I totally forgot when i had the appt with our GP but luckily DD's teacher had told me to get our GP to ring her, so she has helped with that.

Well if your anywhere near herts our support group is great. Most places dont worry about dx tbh.

Your should beable to get advice from the special needs advisory service in your area without a dx.