DS 's older sibling not interessted

[bettyboop63]

DS whos ASD has 2 siblings older one brother one sister , DD is 14 and quite calm and understanding with DS but DS1 whos 15 is not helpful at all he moans at him brings on DS2's meltdowns as he doesnt get it at all ive explained the traits and his foibols to him till blue in the face, i praise all 3 of them and sit and chat about their day ect ect but hes so typical teen cant be asked to do anything he refuses flatly to read up on ASD hes a very loving lad i just think his brother gets on his nerves (hes like a shaddow) and needs space ive suggested although moneys tight atm separate days out with dad /me so they can get a bit of attention but i do feel hes jealous and not being a kind big bro like he should be hes just i hope going through being a teen and being lazy (hes very clever) so one would think he'd understand but he doesnt seem to its driving me nuts

Hi betty. My DS1 is 13 and has always been quite accepting of DS2 but has lately got very critical and grumpy. I'm sure it's just hormones and your DS will grow out of it eventually. Just bloody teenagers I reckon.

hi betty, my ds age 10 has severe autism, he has 2 brothers age 8 and 12. i have to say the younger bro at 8 is fab with my ds, spends time trying to play and talk to him, always cuddling n tickling him. on the other hand my 12 year old seems like he cant be bothered with ds. if i ask him to watch him for a min until i nip to the loo or something, its a moan and can younger bro not watch him. always moaning mum get ds out my room before he breaks something. think its just an age thing. if another child outside says anything about my ds his older bro will actually get into a fight about it (came in recently had been fighting which is very unusual, when i asked what happened he said ?? called my bro a retard and i wasnt having it so i punched him), dont condone fighting but on this occasion i was proud because his brother had stuck up for him. Boys will be boys n im sure your ds loves younger bro more than life but due to being a teen is unable to show how much he cares.

ty i do hope he loves his little bro an occasion like thats not ever occured because of age difference in diff schools ect but DS ASD is moderate , i feel severe in certain areas, and i think its just such hard work for DS (15) as it is all of us but he seems to feel its nothing to do with him most of the time, having said that today he played lego with him for over an hour just to please him after he got back from a date, i was amazed he hasnt done anything like that with him in a very long time so perhaps he will grow up and tbh maybe hes having trouble accepting it as we only had his dx 7 months ago up until then DS(15) used to get very angry and say "you always let him get away with stuff" ( DH and i knew we thought it was ASD) but i think DS thought we were just making excuses

A slightly different perspective here.. but why WOULD a teen sibling be interested? Remember being a teen? I do and being interested in my sibling was not high on my agenda! I think I was a fairly average teen and I certainly didn't want to babysit (unless paid!) and I was absorbed in MY life. Teens are selfish, simply because that's the stage they are going through. It doesn't mean they don't care or love their siblings but I think that expecting him to go away and read up on ASD is a bit much !

I have 4 teens. DS2 who has Autism and moderate learning difficulties, is the youngest. I expect my other children to be respectful of each other regardless of their personalities, but I don't expect DS1 to sit and listen to DS2 listing box office takings (one if his obsessions) or 6 hours straight Shania Twain ( 11 years of obsession and counting..shudder!) because that's not realistic.

AS it happens DS2's brother and sisters are quite affectionate towards him, and pretty tolerant of his ways, but they don't actively seek out to entertain him!

Like Shazian however, when an obnoxious kid once called DS2 (who also has some physical difficulties and wears AFOs) a 'spakka' his sister chased the kid up the road and gave him a piece of her mind.. (she was 10 at the time and the boy was 13!)