How do you help them deal with all the appnts

[anonandlikeit]

DS2 is 8 and as he gets older he is objecting more to all the appnts & questions.

We had a hospital appnt & he screamed & kicked for the hour long journey & screamed "i'm not ill i don't want them to help me"

He ahs mild CP, ASD, learning diffs, asthma, stomach/digestion probs so needs to keep in the system iykwim.

How can i help him deal with it all a little easier.
Part of it is just change of his routine & the fact that he HATES anyone asking him questions.
ans despite them being experts some of the profs don't seem to understand why he finds it distressing 7 treat him like your average 8 yr old.

i find with my ds (7) that its easier if he knows about a few days before, and keep reminding about it,as well as giving him as much info about what will happen as i can and why he is going. i keep him off school for the whole day, one because the appts are usually middle of the day and i have to rely on buses and its also a little treat for him, we get there a little early and when we have finished we go out for lunch/tea as a treat. i am fortunate enough though that my ds has been to hospital so many times that it is second nature and he actually enjoys going!!!!

Sorry you're both having such a hard time. Could you write to the doctors/professionals he sees beforehand to prompt them that he hates being quizzed so that they could only direct questions at you and keep things as low key as possible with your ds.

Also would it help if you gave him a treat when he has an appointment - something he likes to eat of a magazine/comic to look at in the waiting room so there is something positive to associate with the visit? Sorry if these are things you've already tried.

both of the above i do really talk in advance as in general DS is better if he knows when where why ect have to remind him he has a short term memory problem andsecondly i sometimes buy him a sweet after or mcd or a small toy or magazine also i tell them when i get there he hates these appointments and they do usually mostly direct the questions at me while DS plays with either there toys in the office but i always take his PSP oe DS to play on as this he then can concentrate on and block out the yada yada yada us grown ups talk too much he says

Thanks all, tbh i've tried the plenty of warning approach and only telling him last minute & there doesn't seem to be much difference on the day except with the warning he has a few days to be really peed off with me & either goes mute or refuses to eat, or both.

He has memory problems so we have a weekly rolling diary on the wall to give him a perspective of time, when & where & what etc he keeps putting the hospital card in the bin.

I've tried having it blank but he is still so upset when we get in the car that he is hysterical.

I did try telling the w/chair service bloke that he struggles with questions and he finds them upsetting he said MRS X you need to understand that X is 8 now and needs to start having some say in his choices.
I did point out that X may be bloody 8 but he doesn't have the mental capacity of an average 8 yr old & his questions were distressing him.. the appnt was very short!

So far since xmas he has had.
OT, Physio, community paed, hospital paed, psych, w chair services, eye clinic, asd school age services review (multi disciplinary), gastro specialist , orthotics and now our dentist has referred us to the hospital dentist as he is concerned about his teeth.
How the hell they'll get him to co-operate in a dentist chair who knows.

He doesn't ahve anything he is really intersted, he does get a treat of some chocolate after an appnt but TBH very little motivates him.

Thanks for the advice, sorry for the rant ladies just guess i'm a bit pissed off with them all myself iykwim

my ds has asd and hated going to see doctors i had to give him a weeks notice with all appointments if he said i don't need to see a doctor i'm not ill i would turn it around and tell him that he's not ill but other children are ill and the doctor needs help to make them better. thats why doctors ask lots of questions. sorry if this sounds bad but it was the only way we could get him to the hospital without kicking off and getting stressed out.

anonandlikeit no advice i'm afraid other than you have my sympathy/empathy because i go through excactly the same with my 13yr old daughter (she has the mental age of around 4/5 years).

We just have rounds and rounds of appointments, physio, o.t,ss,orthapaedics,orthotics,orthodontists to name a few and for pretty much 13yrs my daughter has done nothing but scream through them, occassionally throwing up too from all the screaming. She was once sick on the orthotic doctors head, he knelt down to look at her feet, she bent over, threw up on his head and then kicked him in the nose

I get weekly snowdrifts of appointments through the post which i have to be honest get me down. I hate the anxiety of knowing the screaming will begin the minute i tell her we've got an appointment comming up. After trying every tactic known to man i now just grin and bare it and just think to myself in 4 or 5 hours (because theres always lots of waiting time) we'll be home and things will return to norm until the next days app.

Recently she's started being much calmer during appointments, no idea why, don't do anything different but she still screams all the way there and into the waiting room. Getting her coat on and into the car is a nightmare, my husband works fulltime so i have to take a carer as its a 2 person job.

So although i'm rubbish because i've no advice i just wanted to say you're not alone

its ok thats what were here for i understand hes obviously feeling very low my ds was/is the same now can you if its not urget hes doing really good at school and is communicating well enough with peers give his a few months time out? give you and him a chance to catch your breth and decide where your really hoping this will go , what are you trying to achive if all else fails all i do is take his DS and a favorite video game or his psp and a film for the waiting room my ds is nearly 11 but hes more like my other ds's when they were 6 so it is difficult, as far as the dentist goes ive managed after all these years to get ds to let her look but he is supposed to wear a brace but can i get him to wear it nope, so the orthodontist has atm given his a 6 month reprieve a rest from trying basically

Thanks all! VIOLET that is so funny, poor Dr what did he say?

I think i am going to look at all the various appnts & those that are just monitoring or reviews see if we can space them out, maybe go to 6 monthly or even yearly checks rather than 3 monthly & maybe save the screaming for apnnts that are offering something in the way Of actual input IYKWIM.
I'm sure they would jump at the chance of seeing him less often.