dla say age appropriate

[pramsgalore4]

Hi, have just spoke to dla to find out why ds has been refused dla, they said they and the school think he is age appropriate and the school have said he has no extra needs or attention than any other child of his age he is nearly five, so does a child with out asd push there sister into the road, have no stranger awareness and would and has happly walked off with a stranger, ran into the road, have to be restained every day to and from school because all he wants to do is run off ( i have lost him and he was found at the park and brought back by someone he didnt really no he was not bothered ) wonder off, turn on the cooker, turn taps on and leave them, kicks, hits, pulls hair, shouts, screams, has major tantrums most of which because his sister has looked at him or dared to touch something that he thinks is for him only, the list goes on, at school he is good, i think he is ignored alot becaues he is so quiet and trys to keep himself to himself, he has come out of school (he is only in reception ) twice covered in poo all down his legs, when i confronted the teacher said she had not noticed and he had not told her ( well he want tell you if hes pood or feeling poorly etc ) do all nearly 5 year olds act like this i think not. dont know what to do, have asked for report and for reasons to be sent to me and for the claim to be looked at again but dont hold out much hope,had sent in ped reports but it looks like they ignored them. help needed

this is quite classic the school dont recognise because hes a good boy and quiet (he holds it in untill he comes home basically) and lets off steam in car on way home or as soon as he walks indoors doesnt mean hes ok someone else might be able to advise i have dla for my ds (asd) but he was showing lots of traits at school so when dla wrote to them ( i told the school in adv they would probably write) they wernt surprised has your DS a DX? or is he under the paed getting this now?firstly id go in and chat with them explaining his symptoms at home but also id appeal if i were you you must fill it out as in a on his worst day iyswim as if you dont stress the things he cant do enough you wont get it ie; johnny cant dress himself he cant do buttons/ zips up and i have to be with him helping him or he cant get dressed at all , not johnny cant always do his zip up or his buttons and i have to help him sometimes same with everything and dont worry you do end up repeating and repeating in different sections you must show hes a danger to himself in different ways inc when your out so he has to have you with him 24/7 or a teacher he has to be constantly watched im sure others will also have much better constructive advice , did you use the cerebra to help you fill it out

Hi, the school is useless he is on school action plus but has no iep, when i asked why she said its because he does not have a statement, i now know this is wrong and on my understanding if he is on school action plus he should have an iep, he also has difficulty in processing information more the abstrat, if he kicked off at school as he does at home they would have to sit up and take note

yes he does have a dx of asd he is just under the middle line, have told school and made sure they have all the reports, have had meetings at school which got me no where, lost track of them saying they have children worse than mine,it is a main stream school but they have a department for children with speacial needs but they are all statemented alot of children come from out of the local area, i think they are too busy with them to bother with my ds

I'm not a SN-trained diagnostician, but I would say in answer to the rhetorical question that I have seen (in only about 5-6 years cumulative teaching experience) all the behaviours you mention in 'normal' reception children, and all but one (the tantrum over 'looking') in Yr1 children. So I can sort of see why they might say these are 'age appropriate'. I would also comment that if he is different at school then clearly they are working well with him-his behaviour is less extreme and more conducive to his education in that environment, and that such flexibility of behaviour is a real boon in any ASD child (most I've taught have been no different at home or school). You are lucky he is like that.

What is odd, though, is the congruence of all this in one individual, as the ped will have noticed. That's where I'd be interrogating the report, and seeking ped help in appeal.

yes eactly so you need to have a meeting with them and get all the profeshionals 9outside agencies) if hes seeing anyone n i presume he is as hes on SA+ and ask about the IEP weird if he hasnt had one and also you are called in to chat about it you have to also sign it i guess you have to try this for a while to see if it helps and that they are following the IEP ect then later if it is not appearing to help you can ask the LA to do assesments ect for a statement you dont have to wait for the school to say yes or start the process you can do this yourself but i think you would be best to give it a chance but keep on their tails making sure they are doing what they should, if you didnt stress all the traits ect enough the dla will ignore because they will say ALL children that age throw tantrums, they all fight with siblings they all have problems sharing ect so you have to show hes not the same as any other NT 4.6 yr old HTH

spoke to ped about the fact he is so different at school to at home and he said this is normal, its autisum, as he goes through school he will get used to the situation and people around him and should come out of him self more, his behavior is quiet bad at home and his understanding can be very poor, he does not have an iep, got parents evening soon so that will be interesting to see what he has been doing, the last parents evening was a waste of time as she had nothing to say

Haven't read all the posts so sorry if I am repeating advice, I keep a diary of challenging behaviour, anxiety, quirks and anything else which strikes me as unusual, if you record incidents and how you deal with them it helps to build a picture for professionals, I don't know if it would help with your DLA claim, but it would certianly show how regularly his behaviour is difficult.

As others have probably said a lot of our kids behaviour is "normal" but when it is happening all day every day it becomes out of the normal range.

Your Ds's school need a kick up the backside for leaving him in soiled clothing, having said that , Dd3 came home several times lke this in reception and year 1 and because she didn't tell anyone they didn't notice[she stank by the way].

The lovely person we have been seeing a CAMHS has been trying to help me understand that the school don't "see" any problems because the they don't know what to look for and lots of our children work hard at fitting in and so they get missed.

Good luck.

i dont know how she missed the fact he had messed himself as he stank i noticed straight away and i was outside, the worst was that on the second time the teaching assisant got down to his height and right in his face and told him he must tell them so they can deal with it, he hated this and thought he was being told off, i dont think they really understand asd at all

i will start keeping a dairy and send it in though, many thanks

omg how thoughtless my ds (ASD/ADHD) had a teacher who was new to the school and was a very shouty teacher when i was chatting to her outside school in front of me scream at him to stand still as he was jumping up and down yeah right she understands him NOT a lot of these people seem to me to have no empathy themselves , do you think they even know the meaning of the word

It does sound like the school report has not been c=very helpful. I think a lot of the things you mention could be attributed to NT kids but as a "one off" and not constantly.

Is there any one who sees what he is like out of school who can back you up? Someone like health professional or EP?

I hope you will appeal, but suggest that you try to get some advice from people who are used to filling in the forms and know the righ jargon to put down. (CAB, carers centre, support group).

I am not an expert but I doubt you would get DLA unless the school changes position on age appropriate. Can you look for evidence in another setting, like after school classes, sports etc?

It's fine that he is quiet and achieves well at school. However how does he cope with unstructured play, lunch breaks, and organisation? How long does it take him to dress /undress, any needs for personal support from the LSA?

It seems that your main problem is that the school does not adequately recognise and meets your DS needs. What they say about having children who are worse is proof that they are not putting the right priority on meeting your DS needs (benchmarking him versus statemented children?). The SEN code of practice (CoP) requires them to put equal priority to the education of all children including those with SEN (this also means SEN children who are not very severe). The other evidence is that they don't have an IEP. This is also a direct violation of the code of practice and shows that they are failing to identify and monitor your DS needs. They can't meet his needs unless they have them properly identified, documented and monitored. They are also failing to work in partnership with you as they do not seem to recognise your valid perspective (there is a paragraph on this in the CoP). You need to bang and impress upon them that they need take you seriously. I would write a letter to the school (by registered mail) requesting a meeting to set up an IEP because you feel they are not meeting your DS needs. Request the presence of an educational psychologist. Get the copy of the code of practice and quote all the relevant paragraphs in your letter. Include in your letter a detailed description of the problems you have at home. State how his behaviour affects other siblings and the family. You might be concerned for his self esteem, relationship with peers, anxiety, social skills. State that those behaviours at home are direct result of school's failure to recognise and meet his needs at school. The EP would do an assessment and would talk to you about his recommendations. Try to have an idea of the type of support you would like to have in place - find out about circle time, social stories. Ask whether the EP has monitored/assessed the LSA support you DS needs and gets. The EP should recommend some targets and strategies for the IEP in which you also have a say as a parent. The IEP requires specifying what the school would do, for how long and how often and what resources will be used etc. Once you set up a good IEP, the IEP itself would be an evidence as to any additional care needs at school compared to non-disabled peers.

I am a teacher and have children on statements who aren't even on sa+ never mind on statements!! My son was on an iep from nursery just for his behaviour... I have an iep at school once just for difficulty blending words to read... Ur son SHOULD have an iep. Get your sen policy from la website

Can I also say re Adela's point that it is unusual in her experience for children with ASD to be different at home than at school, (and this means the school are doing something right...)

I'm afraid I disagree, lots of parents on here talk about their kids being different at home and school. And withdrawing 'hiding' in the group and thus not getting noticed, (and then exploding at home with all the effort) is also not uncommon.

i agree signandsmile just because you cant see it doesnt mean its not there, as they say its an invisible disability and some children with sen are loud and show obvious signs whilst others ,even others on the spectrum /or with add rather than ADHD and other disorders are one way at home another at school some are extroverts some introverts, you do not see everything in the time a childs in a classroom you need to see them in their home environment too and how they are in the playground / park/ in other social settings, with peers and with siblings ect this is why we have so much trouble sometimes as mums getting them to listen ,a lot of schools and staff just dont( get) all the traits however well meaning a lot may or may not be its a case of walk a mile in my shoes

Hi, many thanks for all your replies, i am going to ask that they do an iep and insist on it, i have had the school report faxed to me, they have put, is child aware of common dangers as appropriate to their age? they have put at school yes at home no. does the child have any dangerous tendencies or behaviour problems? they have put at school no, but then added - at school we do need to watch him as he is unaware of danger it goes on like this, the head teacher who has no contact with him and does not know him has added comments below teacher comments, which say this is common with many of the children so this may be approprate to age and although this is the same with many other children, you can see the differant hand writing, but could be missed, this makes me so cross she doesnt even know my son

what ive actually found as a parent of a child with sn (asd) AdelaofBlois and 10 years personal exp that when they are small a lot of them for the first 5/8 years can hole it in at school and explode when they leave but as they progress through school into the last two years of primary and going into secondary the weight on their shoulders of being "NT" is too much to cope with and the behaviour spills into the school environment too esp if its been ignored and overlooked for so long in effect making the sen problems and chatchup nion impossible the stress for these children is immense to conform and their peers more and more notice the differences and they are quite often bullied this is far to common place and abhorant in a modern society treating children with disabilities just because you cant SEE them as invisibles unforgivable esp when we give schools HT ect so much co operation and evidence and were still ignored