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6 replies

bochead · 28/02/2011 19:48

DS has spent the last couple of days saying he wishes he was dead and that everyone hates him. Nothing will convince him otherwise (it'd be like telling him it's not dark at night in his mind this is fact)

Sorry for the essay but he's finally gone to bbed after a nightmare day. A simple trip to the corner shop turned into an "event" with ccomments from ijeet members of the public. HHe's shortly gonna get so it's impossible to make him leave the house.

The reality of not going back to his old school with his friends is sinking in and not in a good way. He's 6 and this is the 2nd time a school hasn't worked out.

What do I do? Called LEA - apparently they aren't doing sweet fa until his nine extension (Half term didn't count) is over. So a meeting will be held on Wednesday (I'm not invited) and they'll call me Thursday.
Cos I'm a cheeky mare I gave them the name of the private school I've found and told them that if a SUITABLE state school isn't found and soon I WILL expect them to pay for it. Daft woman had me telling her which borough schools have places.

Called Ed Pysch - oh the joys of voicemail. Been trying her ever since school fell apart 2 weeks ago.

Called Joint communication clinic cos the shrink is part of the team and they are due to see him on Thursday to tell me why they don't think he's ASD, (despite the fact his aasd dad thinks the apple hasn't fallen far!.) Voicemail.

We are heading into crisis - it's like watching a juggernaught crash in slow motion and there's no help at all! I've never been so glad to put a child to bed.

IIs there anyway I can FORCE someone with the right skills to help him NOW. He needs help NOW bbefore he spirals down further. I'm a lone parent and can only do so much, if he wwas an adult in this current mindset he'd be sectioned with a simple phone call. I'm being the same supportive calm Mum as always, and encouraging him all I can; but it's a plaster merely.

Sorry for the essay but he might overhear if I phone a friend to talk to.

OP posts:
sickofsocalledexperts · 28/02/2011 20:41

You need a diagnosis and then a statement. It is possible that things might be speeded up if u say he is threatening self harm. But I would not leave this to the schl - you have the right as a parent to go to gp and request a paediatrician. Sorry if I have wrond end of stick and u already have diagnosis? A recent survey by treehouse charity pointed to a vast number of undiagnosed asd or aspergers kids getting wrongly excluded from schl 4 being 'naughty'. I have a gd pal who got gp to sign her son off schl for anxiety, which might help focus their minds. The diagnosis/statement process can take ages; I wd say, right now, do whatever you need to calm his anxiety. X

Oblomov · 28/02/2011 20:58

Joint Communication clinic don't think he's ASD ?
What stage are you at then OP ?
ONly ask becasue as sosce said these things do take a long time. We went Gp, and then 3/4 year later, we are waiting for a disco assessment. Lord knows how long that will be.
If it is obvious ASD things are quicker. Is it becasue he is mild ?

bochead · 28/02/2011 21:04

He was assessed after a 2 year wait in Jan for ASD at a multidisciplinary JCC clinic - the draft report says he's not clinically ASD but on the borderline as he shows asd traits and has "complex needs" (oh how I hate that phrase!)

We have the follow up meeting on Thursday (2.5 months later, this PCT do believe in taking things slowly) on Thursday.

He was signed off his first school age 4 with anxiety & stress, (yes the relevant authorities knew) did 1/2 term at home then started a new school only for this to end in exclusion. Hence my "sort it out NOW" attitude with the LEA today. As far as I'm concerned they have been aware he has problems for over 2 years and he's basically lost key stage 1. I've been here before and no help was offered 1st time round.

His first ever statement is due to be finalised March 26th I think.

OP posts:
bettyboop63 · 01/03/2011 11:24

i was in this exact possition i really feel for you my ds is now under CAMHS he was saying same things it breaks your hear to hear someone so young you love say such awful things then he started self harming i felt like the worst mother in world we had same things pre school failed first school then two middle schools now as we were waiting for his secondary placement the SS agreed via the panel to take him im hoping they will really help with his low self worth issues as he was so badly bullied at middle school his stress levels are off the scale hes not sleeping hardly at all and due to that started hallucinating from lack of sleephis dx is through and his dla so hopefully we are now getting somewhere but the self worth thing will obviously take a very long time the exclussions only go to make him feel hes useless at everything and in meen time hes not being educated , its good his statements due soon that should help but ive been where you are right now, ive just re read did you say he was being sent to CAMHS as he needs a referal if not, id contact someone to help you to speak to the lEA and school so they know you mean buisness if hes under CAMHS they can sign him off and on medical grounds send a home tutor at least this keeps him in the (learning frame) iyswim my ds did go through a "i dont want to go out at all" phase it was very difficult CAMHS will give you a phone number to ring should things gt worse in emergency and may be able to px something if really needed, in meantime i was advised to keep a diary of everything that happens his sleep his reactions his moods ect ect this also shows paterns as well which they will find useful HTH and good luck

corns12k · 01/03/2011 18:26

your poor little boy Sad You must be beside yourself with worry OP. Get it all down on paper and write to school and Ed Psych. See your GP and explain exactly what ds is saying. Apply for statutory assessment - there are forms on IPSEA. Have you spoken to parent partnership yet?

bettyboop63 · 01/03/2011 18:48

once the draft arives check through it and double check it with a fine tooth comb make sure everythings in both sections and its quantified ( a lot of lea's are trying to get out of this atm by claiming they have a policy (not allowed) to NOT quantify but you insist id get PP or someone to help you as its a legal document so you dont want anything left out or mistakes and hopefully you can get started really helping yr DS .

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