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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

help please

8 replies

rugrats3 · 15/02/2011 18:47

really struggling to cope at the moment
constantly snapping at DS2 - then feeling guilty
There has been mention before that experts thought ASD - Dont know whether I am coming or going at the moment

everything has got to be just right with him
I feel like I am letting him down

Feel really low -any advice would be greatly appreciated

OP posts:
bettyboop63 · 15/02/2011 19:07

take a deep breath and relax hard i know how old is yr DS ? is he being statemented where exactly are you at in the whole DX & statementing process and do you have anyone who can help to give you a hand, sorry lots of questions but were all there with you to take heart

Original poster
rugrats3 · 15/02/2011 19:51

DS is 4
apparently there is going to be a MDA? after march for him

I am getting so much conflicting theorys with DS

ie - cant be asd because
he interacts with brother and sister
he can now after 2 years make eye contact (still not all the time but still working on that)
he can give us a hug
If he had asd i would not have been able to teach him to make eye contact
etc

He has also been referred to a mental health team as he suffers anxiety

the professionals see him in his own home - they dont see what happens when we go out - he mimics behaviour - but apparently asd cant mimic behaviour
Dont know whether I am coming or going.
He goes for 2 afternoons a week at nursery school (gets 5 hrs funding for extra support) keep getting told that he has had a fantastic afternoon - but then if that is the case why am i getting meltdowns as soon as we get to the car - last week DS punched and pushed a adult friend in the stomach (he has never lashed out before and this was following an hour long meltdown after coming out of nursery)

Sorry to ramble - very confused and feeling very guilty about how i am acting towards DS.

Feel like the experts !!! think i am a stupid mum

OP posts:
Marne · 15/02/2011 20:54

[hugs]

Sorry you are going through this Sad.

I have 2 dd's (one with AS and one with ASD).

Dd1 has quite good eye contact, will hug me and interacts with most people, she will also mimic others (i thought this was common with ASD?) She also sufferes from Anxiety.

Dd2 loves hugs, has some eye contact (which is improving), she only interact with adults and dd1 (not other children).

Each child with or without ASD is different.

Your not a stupid mum, all we can do is try our best.

Original poster
rugrats3 · 15/02/2011 21:05

Thank you

OP posts:
ArthurPewty · 15/02/2011 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shazian · 15/02/2011 22:36

As we all know ASD is a huge spectrum and no 2 kids are the same. my ds age 10 has brilliant eye contact and loves hugs (when he chooses, lol). diagnosed at 4.5 with severe autism which so called specialist told me he definetely did not have (went private to find this out because saw specialist loads of times with no answers). These professionals do my head in because they see our ds for about 30mins and think they know it all. i just wish someone would come and take my ds for even 2 hours just to know what its like. They go to college / uni or whatever and learn it all from a book. half of them dont even have kids never mind sn kids, have to say agree totally with leonie. Dont feel bad for snapping, we all do at times, its tough work being a mum. hope you get answers soon :)

TotalChaos · 15/02/2011 23:22

Sorry you are going thru a stressful time, sounds like you are being fed duff information about asd and hugs etc. Sometimes kids with asd manage to hold their stress in at school so seem ok if a bit passive but let it all out when they feel safe with family.

auntevil · 16/02/2011 10:46

Rugrat - be kind to yourself too. I doubt that there is one of us on this board that hasn't had a bout of snapping etc. I did just this morning - and was caught by my neighbour! Thankfully she cares for her grandson who is dx aspergers, so just laughs and reminds me how similar the 2 boys are!
I read here once some advice on waiting for professional opinion/dx. If you think that there could be any strategies that could be helping your DS now, don't wait for a dx, start now. If the 'professionals' turn around and say 'yes, dx is abc' - or 'no, we don't think there is a dx' will make no difference to actually living with your DS. He will be the same boy that you love and want the best for regardless of their opinion. A dx might open up doors for more help, but that's all.

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