Bad day again. Could really do with a good one!

[Floopytheloopy]

Just feeling so low again today.

I just can't seem to snap myself out of this one. I can barely find the motivation to type this. Normally my feelings just seem to pour out on here, but I just can't seem to find the words today.

I really don't know what it is. Dd hasn't really done anything. I'm just still not coping well with how her probable asd seems to becoming more obvious. I used to feel like I could get through to her, but now I just don't feel in control anymore............with anything.

I can't sleep recently because all I keep thinking about is her future again and again. It's because I don't have any answers, I know it is.

Recently I just want to punch anyone who looks at her in a funny way. Especially other parents, who you would think would know better. I'm not saying they're bad people, just ignorant.

Really don't know what i'm saying if i'm being honest. I know none of you have a magic wand to take this pain away. I don't really know what i'm asking. Just really wanted to get this out.

Thanks for reading.

Have a and a sorry you're having a bad day, know the feeling well!

It's like nothing else when you realise or find out that your precious child has something that makes them different - and all those people who stare and judge just make it worse. I really feel for you, as I have felt just like you on many occasions. You have people here who understand what this is like, it's just we can only send hugs and support though this site, when we know you need a huge hug in person right now.Be gentle with yourself whilst coming to terms with all you have to deal with right now. Big hugs xx

we do know how you feel and i know saying that makes nothing any better ive had trouble sleeping as my DS's statements going through and all i can think of is what will become of him what if something happens to either of us who will look after DS if im gone will he ever have a family of his own , ive probably made you feel worse now i do hope not , i think weve all felt like that wanting to shout at people staring tuting making comments because they have a little "star" who can do no wrong (or so they think) while my DS is having a meltdown or shouting at me or something because they only understand disability to be visual ive even when really upset and im disgusted at myself now said i wish DS was in a wheelchair and had a dissabilty you can see ( i certainly dont really) but when your really down it can all seem far to much to cope with and ive felt like running away but who better than you mummy to look after DS/DD no one because YOU are the best expert there is , chin up it will get better and you will wade through this in the end TC

Floopy sorry you're having a bad day today. I rather am thinking it's like my "trying so hard to hold back the screaming that my head aches" days around here sometimes. We feel like we're in limbo here (waiting for response on DLA claim as well as statement), and I just want to scream at people who annoy me in public - can't they just SEE that I'm stressed and tired and want to be left alone?

It IS hard to push yourself through it. But I tend to keep repeating to myself "nowhere to go but up from here" and try to look for positive things. Even one little thing can make the world of difference. I felt just dreadful the other day speaking to another mum who had a child with DS and she even agreed that with DS, it's identified at birth and help is generally available right away and people can SEE the characteristics and understand to some extent, whereas with ASD/ADHD/etc it takes forever, there's a stigma attached, and people just don't see or understand. It's so incredibly draining.

Hope your day improves...

Floopy- be kind to yourself-It is a hard place to be where you are right now-but you won't be there for ever

You will feel protective of your DD - I have days when I have to stop myself saying things to people who look at ds in 'a funny way'

I hope you find it gets easier in time-If you still feel low it may be worth a visit to the gp who can hopefully put you in touch with some therapy if you feel that would be useful

You will come to terms with things eventually- I'm 90% there on most days- and I can live with that-good luck

You are not alone Floopy :) BIGGGGG HUGGGG :o

There will be a light at the end of the tunnel at some point :) We all have good days and head banging days. All this protocol and paperwork takes so long its as bad as watching tree grow! SLOW!

You are bound to be up and down with your feelings and we are here for you :)

Thanks everyone.

I completely understand that i'm not the only one. I also understand that many of you will be having tougher times than me so I really hope i'm not coming across as self centred. I would hate anyone to think that. It's just how you deal with things I suppose. As i've said on here before, i'm not the strongest person in the world and i've had depression several times in my life before. I'm just worried that i'm headed for 'that place' again. Actually not worried, terrified.

It's so isolating and it doesn't help when family members suddenly start seeing what you've been saying for years. For so long I felt like I was going mad and that it was just me (and pre school)who could see something was wrong. I just feel completely let down and unsupported by certain family members. I think some of them just can't handle the idea that dd may having special needs. What shame it would bring on the family

I'm certainly not saying that everyone has this attitude. My mum for example has been very supportive. Although she also just thinks 'she's behind'.

I do think i'll be going to see my gp about this soon. I suppose i've just put it off because once I open those doors i'm not sure how i'm going to close them again. Does that make any sense to anyone?

Yes it makes sense to me. I have suffered on and off with depression for years. I dont think it goes away I think you learn to keep it dormant sometimes (at least that how I see me :)) On the bad times then I know the signs and go to gp for a little help on the medication front :o

As for family...........my own mother is wonderful but yet when DS was initially having trouble in school she insisted he was just a "proper boy" and they should leave him alone. That said she lives away but comes home every holiday and his behaviour has never stopped her looking after him or loving him. BUT.....I havent had msn on for last 3 weeks because I cant bring myself to tell her it is looking like he has AS/ASD

The other side? (outlaws lol) Have plainly seen him as a badly behaved child from birth and other than throwing sweets in his lap when they drop my dd home they dont stay more than two mins and never take him out :(

I have a feeling it will be them that will deny anything is wrong more than my own mum.

So yes I can understand your "battles" going on with your feelings :)

Go to GP and have a good chat and see where you go from there. If you need something to help you with your emotions it is not a bad thing and would probably help you deal with all this in a more calm way :) Good luck x

this "denial" is so upsetting when its family even more my DH mother hes AS thought and i think still does that he was just naughty and thinks my DS whos ASD is the same because she says that DS is a mini me of his dad and doesnt come to see us my mother would have been 100% behind me but died 3 years ago my sisters same she just treats him as naughty and reciently brought him back from the cinema early because he was shouting out now and again at the exciting bits in the movie and wont take him anywhere now because he "plays up for her" i left DS with his other aunty the other day (while at a meeting with PP)whos been very supportive and was brilliant with him but still didnt quite get it as got him well over excited thinking it funny untill he really started going over the top (he does this odd laughing/hyperventalating noise) when very excited and just doesnt stop till hes run out of steam ...she lookd scared /horrified at one point,which all doesnt help when we need a break or make us feel were doing an OK job of handling them actually

Poor Floopy, hope you have a better day tomorrow. Go see you gp and hopefully you'll get something to help you (even for short while), it's difficult being a mum and trying to do normal everyday things when you have so much going on in your head, not to mention deprived of sleep. Dont be so hard on yourself its ok to have an off day. Hope you feel chirpier soon, tomorrows another day :)