Please Help - Child Physcologist (Unsure What to Do)

[stressedmcd]

Please help!!! We have been having problems with our daughter (Age 11) since she was about 5 or 6 with behaviour issues, anger, frustration, not listening, aggressive etc. This behaviour is only happening at home. However recently she has gone high school and they have raised some issues about her work, not retaining information etc, they are thinking along the lines of dyslexia. However having read up on this, we feel that she ticks more of the boxes in ADHD. We have since made an appointment with our GP and she is referring her to a Child Physcologist. Can anyone provide any info on what lies ahead for us all.

We actually felt that she was underachieving at Primary School, we felt that she was really struggling with her Maths work, we made several appointments and questioned whether we should enlist the help of a tutor and each time we were told there was no need, that this was normal and she would pick up. Aside from her spelling and maths work the only other thing the school have said is that she talks too much sometimes! They have all said that she is a lovely well mannered child, which she does appear to be until you get to know her further. After speaking with her school last week they informed us that the Primary School actually had her down as working towards a certain level that would have been normal for her age, although they later screened her at this level and she only scored 29%! Regarding friendships, this is a very sore point for me and my husband, she really struggles with this. She is constantly changing friends from month to month and never seems to keep any long term, she always seems to loose interest in them. She is also not good in a crowd of friends, on a one to one basis everything is fine, as soon as another or more come into the frame she can't seem to handle this. I am now kicking myself for not following my gut instinct away back and doing something about this sooner, but we just went with what the Primary were telling us. It has just got to a point now that because she is slightly older she is very wearing and literally draws the life out of us, constantly picking fights especially with me for no reason, then 5 mins later has forgotten all about it and thinks everything should be fine. Family members are also finding her hard going now and are not as keen to look after her....... She is unaware that this is going on and I dread when we have to broach the subject with her!

I don't have DC s at the age of your DD - but i would have thought that it is never too late to progress with a dx. I've read about some adults getting dx and how that has made a positive impact on their life.
Don't beat yourself up over should/could haves. I was brought up to think that professionals such as GPs, teachers etc always knew what they were talking about in a professional capacity. It has taken me a while to learn that they can be like that, or a complete waste of space - or in-between.
You know your DD best. You see mood changes, difficulties and ongoing problems that no professional is likely to catch to your extent in an hours appointment.
What is her High School wanting to do about the issues they have raised. Are they planning any kind of assessment for her - EP etc. Can the school provide any info/report for the child Psychologist?

The school have actually started to carry out some tests on her with regards to her spelling and maths etc, although they are more along the lines of dyslexia. They have certainly not raised any concerns on her behaviour, with the exceptions that sometimes she talks too much and she has trouble retaining information. It is their thinking that if anything conclusive comes back then they have support teachers within the school that can assist my DD on a one to one basis. Again this will be based primarily on her schoolwork. The behaviour issues only really seem to raise their head at home against her family. When reading some of the ADHD websites, she is not aggressive or does not harm other children. I kept thinking that was just children, then I though that it was hormonal and she would grow out of it! Hopefully when we eventually get referred and they assess her that it is something totally different, I just want her to have the best possible chance at an education and in life.

Stress Many ADHD children do not harm others or are agressive (I have 'one' and he's none of these things). Think you posted the other day ... best to wait for assessment and then you will have more of an idea of what the issue is. Did you also mention she was 'tested for autism'? can't remember if that was you ... I remember asking how that assessment was carried out (forgive me if not you)

This is where we are totally in the dark of what symptoms are what and what we should be looking for etc... Can anyone shed any light on what awaits us when we speak to Child Physcologist and what sort of tests they carry out? Did originaly post to try and find out this information, not tested for autism though.

Hi, well I suspect its still an element of a post code lottery as to getting the help you seek but a the end of the day I can only tell you how difficult its been for my family... so here goes..... My daughter remains undiagnosed to date .She is 15 this year despite my campaigning and ongoing protests, I have been blocked from getting help by the local child psychologist who says my child is to boarder line to diagnosed, under the current government criteria ?. she is running on a similar course to your child at school.

I believe my daughter has ADHD but the child psychologist called it "tenancies" on the autistic spectrum and would go no further than stating she has a short term memory problem which is hampering her thought/ organisational process. I have been at war with the psychology service since my daughter first went to school . After only a few weeks at infant classes she was given a statement which stated ? autism tendencies ? which was then taken away in late primary school when that rubbish action plus scheme kicked in because she had only won ten hours classroom support.. its been pushed up to 15 hours last time I heard.......... Where I live psychologists like to seem to play footsie with peoples lives, just to keep in with all the other government agencies that's also don?t want the cost of supporting a child with a diagnosis.

I only managed to get my son( who 'became' profoundly autistic 24 hours after the MMR jab) diagnosed by going to a university, where at the time they were training their graduate psychologist students, to diagnose autism. By allowing a post graduate to practise diagnosis on my son,who then gave a report of what was wrong backed up by the course tutor , I then was able to take their report to the local child psychologist . After seeing the report finally she gave in and admitted to my son having classic autism; something she had emphatically denied prior to producing that report.

So my own experience is far from good but it all depends on where you are and resources etc. My advice is to go to local group for parents with special needs kids in your area and find out what is been like locally for them. Ask about who is more likely to be more approachable as well some psychologist are awful to talk to and others more helpful its like finding a good dentist or hairdresser really... Another thing to remember that I discovered in dealing with them, is not all psychs are qualified to diagnose all disabilities and you should ask if the psychologist you are to see specialises in the disorder you suspect your child to have..I found they will keep chasing round the houses with you for ages and not really tell you they are not qualified to diagnose something specific so ask them upfront what is their speciality and are they qualified in and are experienced enough to , as in you suspect, diagnose a case of ADHD.. if not ask to have your child referred to another appropriate specialist and don?t buckle under when they throw the rattle out of the pram.

I have been battling for provision for 16 years now... one of the most helpful free organisations I have got the most valuable , free advice from re educational /schooling issues is IPSEA . If you havent done so already google them and give them a ring...hope this helps ... good luck.