borderline autistic so what now?

[Olipops]

hi Im new and I am in need of some advice please. My son who is 6 in march has had some real difficulties with his social and communication. He has seen a paediatrician twice who at our last meeting said that he is just on the border of being autistic and has now referred him to DLC development of language and communication which has a six month waiting list. The problem is i am so stuck as to how to deal with him he has some really good days and some very bad like today he had a play date at a friends house and when I went to pick him up the mother told me that it wasnt a good one he had said things like everything his friend was showing him was poo and he tipped all of his friends toys out onto the floor and then threw them down the stairs then he called the other mum a bloody woman and got really close to her and pulled a really angry face. When We got home I sent him to bed and now just dont know if that was the right thing to do. If he is borderline autistic does it mean that there are certain behaviours he just cant help? i really hope this is all making sense im so tired and every day there are incidents at school all to do with socializing he doesnt seem to know what upsets people. ANY advice please?

My advice would be to treat him as if he does have a dx of Autism. (Borderline sounds like a cop-out to me).

So yes, it does mean there is some behaviour he can not help.

It also means he might do better with routines etc.

Research and research and see what you think relates to him and might help him......

Yes he may not understands the unspoken social "rules" which children learn by experience, may well not be able to read others' emotions and reactions and
respond appropriately (either verbally or behaviourally), get frustrated when others don't "get" what he means or if there are variances to his routine (ie playdate). Playdates and being out of his usual environment may well make him overstimulated, stressed and his behaviour more extreme, for example. Keep his life as orderly and predictable as possible, give a structure and routine to each day, using visual prompts if needs be, so he is reassured he knows what happens next. Forewarn him of any changes and mainatin clear boundaries of behaviour. Punishments such as sending him to bed may well not work as he probably has little grasp of consequences of behaviour and won't remmeber in the heat of the moment next time. SENCO at school should be able to put strategies in place there to limit "incidents" or at least spot triggers and hopefully anticipate them.

I'd second that.

Some children can have problems with social communication but not necessarily be autistic.

The way you should deal with them is the same, however.

Discovering which behaviour is the 'issue' and which is just plain naughtiness is difficult.

Like Indigo says, get some research going and see where your DS fits in.

It's tricky but you will gain more understanding of him eventually.

And stick around here; so much advice and experience to be had.

HI Oli I would agree with everything people have said already. Just treat him as if he does have ASD and try and get on an Early Bird Course through NAS so that you can learn about the behaviours and how to handle them. It took me until my dd was 7 to get a formal diagnosis and I wish I had been on the course when she was much younger as it would have helped me understand certain behaviour and handle it better.

Thankyou so so much for all your amazing advice, I will be taking it all on board. Last week he had a play date with the same boy but at our house and it was a really lovely afternoon, it really (now) makes sense that he may well be anxious at another persons house I usually have to stay at parties with him.
I've never heard of the early board course would my school be able to point me in the right direction for this,
SENCO at school have been really good he has less playtime (goes to a colouring club) in the playground as that's where he gets himself into most situations.

Thankyou again I'm sure I will be on here again!!

Hello autumnsmum here just to say that before my son was formally diagnosed i used stategies suggested for asd and they helped all the best

Hi olipops... I just wanted to add that we have been in the assessment process with Dd3 for around 2 years now and we have been told on numerous occassions that she is "borderline"!!

One of the best bits of advice I have been given is to treat her as if she is on the spectrum, this was from a mental health nurse at CAMHS.

We had been doing this to an extent but have now gone for it big time and it's working, she is sooo much easier to live with. and it is taking the preassure off us as parents.

Good luck and don't forget to come here when you need advice.

Agree with what had already been said.. :)

have a google of carol grey and social stories
also comic strip conversations and tony attwood justice system ( it's brilliant for explaining what went wrong socially and putting a visual on it as well has how to repair social situations ).

Hi Autum National Autistic Society has the details of the Early Bird course look at their online site. There will be a course that runs close to you starting every term. You can take one other person with yo such as a teacher, helper, grandparent. The earlier you start it the better.

Hi Autum National Autistic Society has the details of the Early Bird course look at their online site. There will be a course that runs close to you starting every term. You can take one other person with yo such as a teacher, helper, grandparent. The earlier you start it the better.

Thank you everyone! Daisysue I will definatly be looking into it thanks. Phew I am already starting to feel better!