Extra social help at school - where do I start?

[Tiggles]

Slightly worried about blowing my identity here, but the need for advice is outweighing that!

DS1 was dx-ed with severe AS/ASD a couple of weeks ago, but is also very high functioning. School had always said they weren't aware of him having many problems - although they have had to deal with him having panic attacks etc if things have changed. However at a recent parents evening it transpires that he is struggling. I don't know if the school are now being more honest with me, or as I actually suspect they are just noticing more now they know there really is an issue.
DS is doing really well academically, other than spelling his work is either where it should be, or better than expected. He has started working in the classroom - last year his teacher knew he could verbally do the maths etc but he would not write it down and would struggle to concentrate to do a page of sums for eg. They have noticed however that he is obviously 'always on the brink', the slightest change is enough to panic him, he isolates himself in the playground, wearing his big coat, usually with his hood up. He filled in a questionnaire for them about how he finds school. Last year he gave the answers he thought that they wanted - I am ever so good at/happy at etc everything. This year, having been with the same teacher for two years he has actually been a lot more honest. He is unhappy, struggling at breaktimes, worried to put his hand up in class, struggling with group work etc etc. His teacher agreed with a lot of what he said - he does struggle in a group situation if they don't do what he wants them to do (improved from last year when he throw a paddy about it), but hadn't realised he was as unhappy as he says he is.
However, he is not happy. It has taken me a while to find out the problem, but finally he told me last night. He has finally made a good friend at the school. He is loving having somebody to play with. But he wants to have some times when he can just sit quietly and not be with other people, including this friend. This was bothering him as he knows that he should be happy playing with people. So I told him about having AS, which has taken a load of his mind, but where do I go with the school.
He isn't a massive problem to them - he is fine work wise, but socially there is an issue. What can I reasonably request?

Are you me lol? He sounds just like my son!

You can request a referral to CAMHS, my son struggles socially and now (after quite a waiting list) has a worker come in weekly to help build his social skills and confidence. She works through little 'friendship scenarios' with him and gives him lots of guidance on how to talk/play with other children. It's really helping him and he seems a lot happier and is mixing a little at break times.

My son is having some social skills training at school via the ASD Inclusion Team. They are doing 1-1 sessions with him to start with, then will gradually start bringing in other children, eventually aiming building up a circle of friends around him.

The idea is that he will have a small group of friends who will get to know him, understand him a bit better and hopefully become a nice little group of friends who can support him in the playground etc. This would include them understanding that he sometimes feels the need to be alone and that that's no reflection on them, its just something that he needs to do sometimes.

The other children aren't aware that he has AS (neither is he at the current time). A s far as they are concerned, they are all just learning about working and playing together, how different people have different needs at different times and how they can all support one another.

Is the inclusion team involved with your ds at all? I think all LEAs have them and they are able to offer advice and training to the school/teacher and/or work with individual pupils.

there are lots of things the school can do for starters - many schools have social skills groups, to teach children how to work more effectively in group situations

they can implement things like a circle of friends

www.autism.org.uk/working-with/education/educational-professionals-in-schools/resources-for-teachers/circle-of-friends-promoting-inclusion-and-interaction.aspx

and it shouldn't be too hard to allow him somewhere to go at break time if he does need to be alone - libraries are good for that and again it's fairly common

Excellent. Thanks all.
Aliz07 do you self refer to CAMHS, or through GP or school?
moosemama haven't heard about an inclusion team - will ask when I have my next meeting with autism dx team where we go through the formal dx report, although they have already stressed that they just dx and nothing else maybe they would know. Otherwise I guess the school may no.
tabulaharas thanks for the link
:)

We were told the same LMGreen, dx only, they don't do support.

Try looking up your LEA on your local council's website, that's where I found out about ours inclusion team. I think all LEAs have them.

In our area they are called the Specialist Schools Inclusion Support Service and you don't need a dx for them to be called in, they will work with any child who is suspected of having problems or is going through the assessment process. They work closely with the Ed Psychs and in our area they all seem to know each other very well, so your dx team may well be able to advise you. Worth a google and possibly even a phonecall first though.

I brought the inclusion team in myself, as the school was dragging its feet. I called them to ask for advice and found out that you can be referred by any professional that's involved with your ds, so HV, GP, SALT, Ed Psych, SENCO etc. I went to my GP and got a referral (the GP actually had no idea they were able to do it, but were happy to help when I explained the situation). Then I told the school that - to save them extra work - I had obtained the referral from my GP and spoken to the inclusion team myself - low and behold, all of a sudden the school invited them in to observe ds and it all went from there really! We now have a lovely inclusion teacher, that comes in once a week to work with ds and is happy for me to call her at any time to discuss any worries or problems relating to ds and school. In fact they sorted out a big problem with ds's teacher for us just two days after I met them for the first time.

I think you can be referred to CAMHS by either the school or the GP, but the more information you can supply them with about the problem, the more likely you are to get seen, as they are really overstretched in most areas. We were referred to CAMHS by our GP, she sent the referral without any supporting reports or documentation and they sent us a leaflet about a local charity that has a youth club for children with ASD. Er ... thanks, but we asked for help because ds was suffering from extreme school related anxiety due to bullying and was school refusing.