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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

AS anger management

16 replies

DameEdnaBeverage · 09/02/2011 19:12

Has anyone got any tips to help with my ds's anger issues? He keeps getting threatened with exclusion for storming out of class and I'm really worried.

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 09/02/2011 19:15

Has he got a dx?
A time out card?
A safe place to go to when he leaves class?
Teachers that are proactive about spotting potential flashpoints and deflecting them?
What makes him flip?

coff33pot · 09/02/2011 19:15

One good person on here suggested I try the yellow card/red card. Put it too school but yet to see it in practice...........

Maybe your ds could show yellow if he is uneasy or red if he is too stressed out to stay in class then the teacher could let him walk to a quiet area to calm down? :)

Thecarrotcake · 09/02/2011 19:18

Dame.. School have got to sort out the exit card and support around it's usage.

But I know how much of a battle this is :(

Original poster

DameEdnaBeverage · 09/02/2011 19:21

No dx as yet but definite AS traits and 2 EP's believe he has it too. He is allowed to go to a quiet area if necessary but sometimes rushes out of class and is 'unsafe' to himself and/or others according to school. Have sm with 20+ hours of support but LSA not been hired yet. Staff say they can't always pre-empt as things move too fast for them! He gets angry at children picking on him,teacher shouting, just people generally upsetting him. Has sensory issues and staff have been told that he shouldn't be shouted at but if I mention this to school I am always told he wasn't shouted at

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Original poster

DameEdnaBeverage · 09/02/2011 19:30

Oh and have suggested cards to school but no sign of them yet. Carrot gave me some good tips and advice but feel like banging my head against wall. Was told off today for fidgeting and not concentrating. Main area of need on sm is attention & concentration!

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Thecarrotcake · 09/02/2011 19:38

Dame I don't know what to suggest to get the school to hire a TA or to actually put things in place for him.

Have you spoken to PP ( it's the only other thing I can think of)?

Original poster

DameEdnaBeverage · 09/02/2011 19:53

Hi Carrot. Looks like I might have to contact PP. Wondering if LA has any anger management assistance they could help us with. LSA is meant to be starting soon. Can they exclude if they aren't providing enough support?

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IndigoBell · 09/02/2011 19:55

How old is he?

My DS is allowed to storm out of class up to 2 times a day :)

There is no way your DS should be expelled for this.

Tell the school they need to contact the ASD team to get more ideas on how to support him.

Really this all sounds unacceptable. That he has such a statement and they get cross for him walking out - don't suppose moving school is an option?

Original poster

DameEdnaBeverage · 09/02/2011 20:12

Hi Indigo.
Ds is 11 and only there until July so moving may be difficult,although I have thought about it. Not sure how well ds will adapt to change.Also won't new school then have to hire an LSA which will cause further delay in getting him support? I have asked before about any Autism Outreach support etc but school say there is nothung available. Mind you they have also told me that they have had loads of AS dc's there and staff are are all trained in dealing with them!
He was excluded (before sm was in place) for intimidating a teacher. She was however preventing him leaving the room after he was told off for taking an instruction literally and getting confused about it. I thought this was too heavy-handed considering lack of support but sm was imminent so I didn't push it. Presumed that he can now not be excluded because of his needs but HT seems to think that now it has happened once it gives her carte blanche to threaten it again!

OP posts:

Thecarrotcake · 09/02/2011 20:13

Dame I'm going to be really totally honest with you here.. ( so brace yourself lol)..

I actually don't think your ds needs anger management.. He needs support.. So he doesn't get bullied, overwhelmed and to recognise when he needs to calm down because of another pupil having a go BEFORE he blows! ( or walks out).

None of this is his fault ... Have you had a natter to the lea inclusion person ?

Original poster

DameEdnaBeverage · 09/02/2011 20:35

Never heard of LA inclusion person - what do they do and how do I contact them? Senco is also the school inclusion manager but is as wet as a jellyfish and just as spineless!

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Thecarrotcake · 09/02/2011 21:00

Right your county should have a plan for inclusion.. And a team that does it.. If you google[ your county] SEN inclusion plan .. It should bring up a document that has the county charter thing on.. On there should be a contact name and number... But also a whole load of stuff that they should be doing.

This is my county one here

Original poster

DameEdnaBeverage · 09/02/2011 22:13

Had a quick look and can't seem to find much. Think I will e-mail PP and make enquiries. Also writing (again) to Senco insisting that what we discussed recently is implemented.

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IndigoBell · 10/02/2011 01:17

Oh, I def agree with Carrot. He does not need anger management stuff - and anger management stuff will never work.

Leaving the room when you are very upset is a very sensible coping strategy. If I was very upset at work I'd go and get a coffee or something in order to remove myself from the situation.

And in fact one of the 'anger management' techniques is to walk away, isn't it.....

If he's finishing school in July probably no point in moving schools. Arrange for a weekly meeting with his teacher and the SENCO to discuss his behaviour. This will really annoy them allow you to help school work out sensible things they can do for your DS.

They will never really expel him (far too much paperwork for them, and they're clearly too lazy for all of that.) They're just trying to intimidate you.

(Do they not want his SAT results sullying their school league tables?)

Original poster

DameEdnaBeverage · 10/02/2011 07:35

Thanks Indigo. They don't seem to realise that threatening exclusion is just making things worse. And with regard to Sats, when we had the sm implementation meeting Senco said they couldn't put in place any of the recommended programmes until after Sats in May as they didn't want to remove him from the classroom . They could then do loads of things for him after that
We pointed out that after already waiting 2 months for anything to happen on sm we were not going to leave it another 4 months to get ds support!
When ds walked out of class recently and didn't want to go back HT threatened him with exclusion unless he went back in - said she didn't want him missing his Sats lessons.
Writing this is making me realise how bad they are.

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 10/02/2011 09:46

I would be really tempted to write a formal letter of complaint to the board of governors, complaining about the HT threatening exclusion.

Exclusion is not appropriate for walking out of class, nor is it appropriate for a child with a statement for ASD, nor is it helping him to 'access learning in the classroom'

If it is a complaint about the HT, then this is the correct way to complain. Address an envelop to the Chairman of the Board of Governors and hand it in to the school reception.

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