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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Can you be honest with me - quick :)

20 replies

MarioandLuigi · 09/02/2011 09:39

Have transition meeting at 11am and need to know if IABU.

DS (ASD) starts reception in September - he is a big drinker which we are trying to reduce, but because of lots of oral sensitivity he can only drink from a basic Tommy Tippee cup (I have tried literally everything else on the market). He also wont drink water, and gags on milk, so he drinks dilute or fruit juice.

The school have said that that the cup and whats in it are an issue, they have water bottles and they are only allowed to contain water - I know that he should try and live within boundaries but he literally cannot drink from a water bottle.

With whats in it I am more inclined to agree with them, but if its not juice he just wont drink it - he drinks for the sensation we think and although we have tried cutting it down he still does drink alot.

Should I fight for this? I dont know if there is a compromise?

Please be honest - I really need to know if I am BU.

OP posts:

bigcar · 09/02/2011 09:52

yanbu! But this was one area I couldn't get dd3s school to budge on. Her problem is that she doesn't drink though so the opposite problem. No issue with the type of cup as they can take what they like but no juice at all because of the mess and stickyness if it spills. The only concession they would make would be to keep dd3s juice drink at the office and she would have to go there if she wanted it that would make her even less likely to have a drink so we didn't bother with that. I'd definitely try to get them to let him take his cup and see what they can suggest about the type of drink, it's always worth a go. Depends how much time you have and what else you need to get in place really.

sumum · 09/02/2011 10:01

I think you need to push the cup thing, if he can't drink from a water bottle then he can't and trying to make him would cause him trauma just when he doesn't need it.

on the content of the cup would he drink flavoured water, it is still water, looks clear etc but does have a bit of flavour. maybe worth a try.

our school has these rules too, but one child i know does have the flavoured water.

Davros · 09/02/2011 10:10

I have to say, I would be willing to let them give it a go. Children will often do things in other settings that they won't do otherwise. But have a back up plan like being able to have a cup or keep it somewhere like the office. If you think he drinks too much then it is a way to reduce it but you don't want to put him off altogether of course. My DS sometimes goes through a phase when he wants to drink all the time and I think there is an element of repetitive behaviour about it and sensory issues. I can't tell you how many times well-meaning people have suggested that he is diabetic and he is not.

bettyboop63 · 09/02/2011 10:26

id let them give it a go as Davros says , not so serious while the weathers still ok not too hot as in summer it would be a real issue with me, they need to drink a lot in summer but my son wouldnt and still doesnt like to drink out of a water bottle or like water, what i did was i found he liked slim neck bottles ie cola or whatever so i fill that with very dilluted orange juice (had to do that very gradually) so as the school if in say a green 7 up bottle cant really see its got a bit of orange in it because like you say he ended up going all day even in summer without a drink at all and they wouldnt allow any other sub for water HTH

coff33pot · 09/02/2011 11:00

My DS wont touch water at all either. He wouldnt drink from a water bottle so there was uproar for a while at home when I was trying to convince him that water was good. Even gave him nothing but and made sure I had nothing else in the house at the time when he frantically searched in the cupboards!

He would sip it and wash his mouth out and spit. Says its just for cleaning teeth :)

When he started school though he just did what he was told and followed suit like everyone else. However that meant yes he would use a water bottle but would still spit the water out. Come summer time he was so ratty and overheated and still coming home with a full bottle water apart from a sip. I bought flavoured water ie. total sugar free with a hint fruit flavour. The school eventually agreed to him having that or I said I would have to come up every break time/dinner time to give him a drink.

I think you have got to just go with it and see how it goes he could well watch everyone else and follow suit :)

bettyboop63 · 09/02/2011 11:04

you made me chuckle there coff33pot my son says same sorta thing about water ..."MUM its for washingggg innnn "as if im stupid lol

Davros · 09/02/2011 11:29

You could even make it a target for them It is an opportunity to try to sort this issue out, with an eye on what happens if it doesn't work. See it as an opportunity.

Original poster

MarioandLuigi · 09/02/2011 14:30

Thanks everyone for your advice.

I agreed that I would get him to drink water before he started - will start making the dilute weaker and weaker. They agreed he could have the cup for now with a view to trying him to get him to drink from a cup. His inclusion lady agreed with me that its not something he will do because he is actually quite afraid of water and the SALT agreed that he doesnt have the muscle strength in his mouth to drink from a straw or water bottle.

OP posts:

Original poster

MarioandLuigi · 09/02/2011 14:30

We are going to try some games with him through portage to get him blowing and sucking.

OP posts:

Original poster

MarioandLuigi · 09/02/2011 14:30

OP posts:

bettyboop63 · 09/02/2011 14:38

everyones making me chuckle today lol

donkeyderby · 09/02/2011 16:00

YANBU. Do MS schools really impose these sort of rules on SN kids?!!! Jeez

The most important thing for your DS is that he drinks. Why on earth does it matter what he drinks or from what container? I just don't get it.

Could you get the school nurse on your side? They could liaise with the teaching staff and stress the importance of fluid intake rather than container and liquid type.

Of course it's worth a shot at getting him to try water from a bottle but if your DS won't drink from anything else, and they insist on forcing him to drink water from a bottle, ask that they keep a fluid balance chart, aiming for a fluid intake of whatever the school nurse says is appropriate. If he can't manage it, they will have to be a bit flexible in the interests of disability equality!!!

Lack of fluids could make him feel yukky and headachy, cause constipation etc., and disadvantage him right from the off.

Sorry to rant, I used to be a nurse and fluid intake is fundamentally important

Davros · 09/02/2011 17:05

The thing is though, if you can change a behaviour that is "inappropriate" for whatever reason then you probably should, no matter how trivial it may seem. But you must be careful of course.

Ineedalife · 09/02/2011 17:13

I have to say even though Dd3 will drink water she is not drinking water at school at the moment, she drinks diluted squash namely Asda's own grape and peach high juice, when this is watered down it goes vrtually clear and no one knows its not water.

Yes Donkey derby MS schools seriously do impose these rules!!!

If you really can't get your Ds to drink water marioandluigi you may have to resort to being sneaky otherwise your Ds might not have a drink all day.

gilly3 · 09/02/2011 18:10

this makes me spit,i would stand your ground,were do they get off,we are not all the same,it is more important that he drinks,do they want his first experience of school to be negative,i am fed up with people trying to put our kids into boxes in which they just don,t fit,life would be so dull if we were all the same,he,s only little,maybe it will come in time,if he needs his beaker ,he needs his beaker,go and kick some butt mamma[smiile]good luck with whatever you choose to do.xx

Davros · 09/02/2011 18:32

But in time, he may prefer to have resolved this issue, he may want to be like the others as much as possible.

bettyboop63 · 09/02/2011 18:50

he may never like water , we all have things we do or dont like , I bet many of the other children also dont like water ill warrant a lot of mums are putting very diluted juice in their sports bottles, I think this nanny states so OTT i give my 2 older children a very ballanced diet but do put a choc muffin in with their lunch i cant tell you how many times when they were in middle school dinner ladies have taken it off them at one point they were taking crisps out of everyones lunchbox [shocked] i know about healthy living/eating i dont need an overweight dinner lady scolding me , lol sorry rant over

cansu · 09/02/2011 18:56

I mananged to get round this with dd2's school by using a drinks bottle where you can't tell what is in it. The teacher knows it's juice but because it is not obvious to anyone else then no one minds. I agree that if you can change the cup to a water bottle then that may well be a good thing for your ds, but you might also suggest to school that they concentrate on getting him settled in school before they start to worry about what he drinks. Having said that I know that my ds1 (specialist ASD school) has adapted very well to the very strict rules in his school which applied from day 1. Lots of things that he never accepted in his old school or at home have been accepted in his new school very quickly. Like many autistic children he has compartmentalised it so that he accepts 'things happen like this here' and that's that!

Original poster

MarioandLuigi · 09/02/2011 19:19

Davros - I agree with you, and I am hoping that we are encouraging him to be like others as much as possible, which is why I have agreed to trying to get him having water in his beaker - he is allowed juice in his lunch box, just not in the classroom.

We will work on his mouth muscles - the SALT has given us some excersizes and we can blow bubbles and feathers to try and strengthen his mouth, and will keep plugiing away with water bottles and see if he will let me put it near his mouth.

OP posts:

Davros · 09/02/2011 20:55

I hope it goes well and I wish you lots of luck. You are obviously involved and caring, as all MNSNers are!

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