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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Does my child have special needs

20 replies

torie1980 · 07/02/2011 21:06

I am a full time single parent with a 8 year old DS and a 2 year old DD. My child is having problems at school some teachers say his behaviour is learnt behaviour and others say he has some form of special needs. he is an intelligent boy he works well above his expected level but he can't concentrate and then his behaviour hits rock bottom. he is currently under CAMHS, RYEGATE, SENCO worker at school, CHILDRENS HOSPITAL, COMMUNITY PEDRETRIC doctor and the EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST. I dont know what to think no more and feel so alone in all of this has my DS got special needs????????

OP posts:

wasuup3000 · 07/02/2011 21:11

No I am sure those professionals have nothing better to do with their time?

I really don't have the answers but aside from me being a bit grumpy tonight, what are your instincts?

Whether he has or hasn't he is still your boy who you have always known and loved a label can't change that.

Original poster

torie1980 · 07/02/2011 21:17

Everybody seems to want to label him and at the end of the day you are right he still is my little boy, i dont think he has but all those professionals saying he has is starting to scare me a lot

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wasuup3000 · 07/02/2011 21:18

What are you scared of?

Original poster

torie1980 · 07/02/2011 21:21

that all these professionals are trying to label him i am scared for him because he is having so many assessments that i feel that it is becoming to much for him when the professionals dont get the answer they are looking for they automatically put him in for further testing

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wasuup3000 · 07/02/2011 21:25

You don't have to agree to him being assessed you know?

What are they assessing him for - ADHD/ASD?

HecateQueenOfWitches · 07/02/2011 21:29

Look. There really is nothing to worry about.

They will assess him

Assessing him will not give him any difficulties. If he does not have special needs, then assessment will not change that.

If he does have special needs then it is in his best interests for it to be identified in order for him to have appropriate support from the most appropriate team.

Burying your head in the sand and wimpering "not my boy, not my boy", while understandable (and pretty much where we've all been at one point or another ) will be of sod all help to him.

And this is what it is all about, at the end of the day. Helping him.

You have to put aside how you feel. I know, I know, I may as well ask for the moon. But you have to focus on what your son needs and go for that.

Original poster

torie1980 · 07/02/2011 21:30

add, adhd dyspraxia, growth problems, early puberty it goes on i just found out that they the school did an intelligence test on him without informing me first

OP posts:

wasuup3000 · 07/02/2011 21:31

However if you also need a couple of months without assessments to give you time to get used to the idea so you feel more confident coping and so you can read up on what may be the problem and reassure yourself then that is another viable option.

andperseand · 07/02/2011 21:34

torie, it is scary at first. Some of us come to this with our own suspicions, for others it is not something we have considered.

You are his mum and you can ask what they are doing and why. If you have some idea of what they are looking for then you can Google and read up a bit and see if you see it the same way as them.

No one has to accept a label for their child if they don't want it. Some do, some don't. Some have to fight and fight to get people to take their concerns seriously. I found it helpful when someone described it as a 'signpost' rather than a label.

All those appointments can be very overwhelming but try and look at it as an opportunity to get your son, and you, the best possible help and support.

wasuup3000 · 07/02/2011 21:34

ADD and ADHD are the same just means that your son maybe a little more active or inattentive than an average child. Dyspraxia affects co-ordination and organisation. Growth Problems and early puberty I would want to look at ASAP to rule out any health problems but the ADHD and dyspraxia can wait.

andperseand · 07/02/2011 21:34

Oops, cross-posted, I am too slow and trying to get kids to bed at same time!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 07/02/2011 21:35

Clearly they think something is the matter and they are trying to work out what it is. They are not just slapping on any old diagnosis. They are ruling things out and looking for other things.

They are being responsible.

They have no reason to try to give your child a 'label'. They are just trying to help your child.

And - fwiw - 'labels' are bloody useful when you are fighting tooth and nail for the support your child needs! I promise you.

Original poster

torie1980 · 07/02/2011 21:41

Thank you all i know it is for the best what they are doing but i think with all the different professionals involved its just a bit over whelming, we have been in this situation for 3 years and still no diognosis i think it will all work out for the best but at the moment we seem to have hit rock bottom

OP posts:

wasuup3000 · 07/02/2011 21:46

Give everyone a ring tomorrow morning and ask them what their thoughts are and how long will this process now take to complete?

If you have a finish line then that may help?

Original poster

torie1980 · 07/02/2011 21:47

thank you i have made a to do list and that is on it i think x

OP posts:

wasuup3000 · 07/02/2011 21:49

Good! You are not alone, keep talking and posting here for some support when you feel fed up. :)

Thecarrotcake · 07/02/2011 21:53

Wasup.. I was going to suggest the samething.. You can just ask the proffs :)

hey and remember.. When your at the bottom.. The only way is up :)

Original poster

torie1980 · 07/02/2011 21:55

the only way is up and i can pull my family through this

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Original poster

torie1980 · 08/02/2011 12:50

Thought i would let u all know parent partnership have been up and given me some most fantastic advice no one who has been involved with my DS had let me know that i could call a multi agency meeting and she also called primary admissions to fast track his transfer form

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Original poster

torie1980 · 10/02/2011 17:03

My DS is finally been allocated a place at a new school and starts next week i would like to thank every body on here for all their advice you gave me it was of great help and will be in the future

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