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SN children

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Original poster

so tonight is going to be interesting :(

24 replies

Thecarrotcake · 07/02/2011 18:09

Ds1 is in a teen grump ( after yelling at me his life sucks and basically I'm a rubbish parent..because I told him to do the washing up and stop shouting at ds2... Although he expects me to run him about for various things this week.. He has had one mums taxi token removed!)

Ds2 is on a red card.. Because he blew when ds1 yelled at him ( I totally get why but lashing out and screaming at dd is a red card job).

Dd is fed up with the boys and is snuggled up next to me watching simpsons.

And dh has disapeared ( upstairs to retreat until it calms down)... I'm hiding here :)

OP posts:

Swiddle · 07/02/2011 18:28

happy hiding :)

1980Sport · 07/02/2011 18:33

Yes happy hiding! I hid in the kitchen pretending to sort the washing when dh came home after an afternoon of tears and tantrums.

5inthebed · 07/02/2011 18:34

Have another .

My DH working late tonight, so I'm on bed duty. DS2 having a fantastic meltdown. Oh joy!

Original poster

Thecarrotcake · 07/02/2011 20:00

Hope that went well 5 ... Well I didn't get to hide for long!

I think everyone is calmed down now.. Thank the stars!

Dh has changed his hours at work and it really hasn't helped matters... Grrrrrrr ( although he gets to be home every evening and weekends now!)

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1980Sport · 07/02/2011 21:06

Glad things have calmed down!

Two sleeping babies here - bliss!!

starfishmummy · 07/02/2011 22:18

Major meltdown here and that was just me! (Totally p'd off with ds and the constant I'm sorry give me another chance...) In the end I just left DH and DS to it.

All is calm now......although I still feel stressy so will while away an hour on here and then try to sleep.
DS is already on a mum chooses TV (ie CBBC); no channel hopping; no nintendo ds, no computer regime - I'm running out of things to ban!

coff33pot · 08/02/2011 00:13

Glad its all chilled out for you carrotcake! Both schools closed today so yep chaos rained in our house. DD frustrated because DS wanted to learn how to knit so I taught him finger knitting to keep the peace rather than see him with needles that could well turn into swords with his imagination :o

Then few rounds of dialek battles with his sister who was not in a helpful mood seeing as she made a hole in her knitting which DS said it looked cool that she had a window much to her disgust! :o

My puppy has decided he can now cock his leg without falling over and has been proudly practicing AGAINST MY BIN!

I finally decided after the endless bickering between the two to think sod it and pull all the cushions and seat bases off the settees to turn the livng room into a tampoline. We then had a cushion fight and at that point my DH walked in on us.........took one look thought I was in midst of a warzone crisis and left again only to return with a small bunch roses and two mags for the kids lol

Reckon I might stage up a crisis once a week if I am going to get flowers :o

All are snoring (even the dog) thank goodness!

Original poster

Thecarrotcake · 08/02/2011 18:43

Coff33... brilliant!

And I believe I may fall in love with your DH by proxy... How nice was he!

My dh is great with the dc's I can't really complain... However I am going to read out your post ( hint hint lol).

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coff33pot · 08/02/2011 18:55

You never know it might work carrotcake! :o

You are very welcome to love my DH by proxy lol I would love to share him but I am afraid it will be the two nights he goes to play pool and comes home stinking of garlic and lager rofl Might even stretch to a sat morning when he is listening to TALK SPORT!!AHHHHH! :o :o

Been a chill day here today DS had a good day (not so many hiccups! so I count that as good!) And has just scoffed tea and cuddling with DH. The puppy? well I have threatened to tie his legs together so he hops around the house :o He has definately adopted my bin as an indoor practice lampost! Then you see the big brown but dont you love me eyes

Hope today was a better day for you!

Original poster

Thecarrotcake · 08/02/2011 19:49

Yeah much better day.. Ds got an unconditional offer to sixth form :) ( he's avoid lad really :))

but he actually wants a different college!

Ahh well..

Ds2 is just bouncey! But had some good news about school... They have put a TA in for him ( outof their budget and as he is about to leave the school) and I love that TA already as she stepped in for him when he was using told off for using is fidget toy and bouncing about..and sorted it out with the teacher!

Yay!

I think I'll stick to proxy loving your dh and encouraging mine into flower buying lol... Mine plays golf .. But he takes both ds's out ( seperately) with him... No longer drinks and is well trained in not talking sportwith me pmsl.

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Original poster

Thecarrotcake · 08/02/2011 19:51

Avoid lad??... Autocorrect grrrr..... He is a good lad!

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moosemama · 08/02/2011 20:00

Carrot - excuse the hijack but ...

Coff33pot - wash (or even better soak) your bin with biological washing powder in hot-hot-hot water - otherwise he'll keep smelling his own scent and going back to do it again.

Also find something super tasty that he adores, follow him outside and shove it down his throat the secong he starts weeing.

Every time he does it on the bin, completely ignore him and then wash it down straight away. Hopefully this will result in the undesired behaviour going to extinction whilst, shoving the tasty morsels down his throat when he does it right, will reinforce the desirable one.

Please feel free to ignore me if you already knew this - I miss being a dog-trainer sometimes.

Thanks for your support on the other thread as well by the way. I think I've sorted it without backing down nnow - but I could be deluding myself there.

Ahem .. as you were ladies.

coff33pot · 08/02/2011 20:13

Thanks Moosemama! I wash the bin straight away but have been using a flash all purpose. I got slate tiles in the kitchen so got to do it asap or if it soaks I have had it with the smell. Just gave it a washdown with the biological idea and heres hoping. He goes straight out the door in the mornings and does his business out there but the cocking the leg indoors is a bit much at the moment seeing as there is no excuse as one of us is home with him everyday so he isnt left. And goes out the cat flap if I dont open door but comes in and wees!

And no problem regarding that other thread and I think you handled it very well indeed :)

Great news on your sons placing carrotcake!

And DS2s news of a TA that bites back and looks out for him :o at least you know he is in good hands!

moosemama · 08/02/2011 20:28

No problems, the biological stuff breaks down the er ... biological matter, anything else just masks it.

If biological washing powder doesn't work try buying some Simple Solution from Pets at Home or somewhere. I think most pet shops sell it. It has a reasonable vanillary sort of smell and I've used it for all my pups over the years.

We used to have one that came back inside to wee. We trained her to go in one specific spot in the garden, by taking her to the same spot every time and only ever rewarding her when she did it there. We also put the 'deed' on cue, by saying the same command/word (in her case two words actually -'be quick' - best to use something you won't be embarrassed to say in public. ) as soon as she started to go each time. Its a really useful thing to do, as it means you can get them to go wherever you need them to and quickly (eg stops at the motorway services on a long journey or before you go out and know you are going to be gone a couple of hours).

Sorry, I'm just being a dog training bore now aren't I.

moosemama · 08/02/2011 20:30

Carrot, congratulations to ds for his Sixth Form offer, but fingers crossed for the college he really wants.

Great news about the TA as well. Can we have her when you've finished with her?

Original poster

Thecarrotcake · 08/02/2011 20:51

No problem about the hijack lol... And coff33 .. We didn't wash our plant pot ( choice of wee spot for our pooch...)... We left it lovely and smell and placed it outside... The subsiquent wee went outside with it too!

So if washing doesn't work ( and it's not one of those really expensive bins)... Leave it smelly and move it outside :)

moose you may share the TA :) and thanks for the congrats :)

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moosemama · 08/02/2011 20:58

Love the lateral thinking there Carrot - maybe that's why I'm not a dog trainer anymore, lol!

Original poster

Thecarrotcake · 08/02/2011 21:33

Moose.. I am no trainer .. But I was at the end of my tether with a rescue dog.. And so used the same idea with our pup ( now middle aged mutt).. When we had the same issue...!

Now if you can get my spaniel to actually retrieve a toy... Rather than just looking at me when I throw things .. " yes mum that was clever now off you toddle so I can watch you throw it again" < slaps forehead>.. I'd be greatful!

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moosemama · 08/02/2011 21:48

Clicker training Carrot, that's what you need for that. Reward for looking at the toy for a second, then for looking at it slightly longer, then taking a step towards it, then touching it etc etc.

I know nothing whatsoever about ABA, but from the little I've read, isn't it similar, in that you reward each step and then shape the steps into the desired end behaviour?

So there you are, you are a trainer and you didn't even know it.

Alternatively, I could get my lurcher to have a word with him/her. Lurchers aren't really supposed to like retrieving, but mine loves it - he'll even swim out to sea to retrieve for me. I think he has dreams of becoming a spaniel or collie one day if he tries hard enough.

Original poster

Thecarrotcake · 08/02/2011 21:57

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coff33pot · 08/02/2011 22:16

It WAS an expensive bin till my DS liked the fact that you could tap it and open it and he decided he liked the bin laughing at him :o

Needless to say the lid is worn out and stuck down with tape! Soooooo good excuse for a new maybe less expensive model. Great If washing doesnt work bin/dummy lampost will go outside :o

Original poster

Thecarrotcake · 08/02/2011 22:20

:o oh coff33 .. You know.. That really shouldn't have made me laugh... But that is exactly the sort of thing ds would have done when he was younger!

We now live in a house that is wipable washable or replacable!

OP posts:

coff33pot · 08/02/2011 22:40

What house........I have a house?? :o :o :o

Ah! I still have the doors and windows! :o

moosemama · 09/02/2011 12:09

We used to have a small pedal bin at the kitchen in our old house and one of our dogs was seriously disturbed by it. She used to squeal, run away from it with her tail between her legs and hide behind the sofa - think it was the clanging noise.

I daftly thought that I could shape her behaviour into not being afraid of it, but it backfired. Without thinking about what I was doing, I clicker trained her to press the pedal - so she was in control of the clang and got a reward when she heard it. Unfortunately, as soon as I taught her that she found out there were tasty food scraps in there and from then on would constantly press the pedal and help herself to snacks! Doh! We still can't have a pedal bin ten years later!

We now have a tall push-top one in the porch adjacent to the kitchen. If we put it in the kitchen, the lurcher thinks its his personal nosebag. Every time we need to put something in the bin, we have to unlock the backdoor and take it into the porch.

Unfortunately, ds1 regularly forgets to lock the door behind him and even manages to lock the lurcher in with the bin on a frighteningly regular basis. He surpassed himself last weekend by locking both dogs in there for an hour! I don't know how he does it, the room is only about 6ft by 4ft and the dogs are by no means small - how could he not see them?

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