question about aspergers

[cheeryface]

an 11 year old child that can look at you and know you feel sad , understands sarcasm and idioms can teach a bunch of newbies karate..thats not a child with aspergers is it ?

I'm really pleased for ds2 , it actually went well , he said he'd made a new friend !

Sorry haven't read all of it.

Mine makes eye contact with people he knows well.
Has a good sense of humour
Gets sarcasam and has even started using it (yipee).
Understands that an idiom is an idiom though will sometimes ask to check.
Has HUGE amounts of empathy - can pick up signals particularly from me.

Is as autistic as they come!
Utterly utterly lovely.
Used to have huge tantrums now suffers from major anxiety issues - lots of hand wringing.

However, it is fine for the school to may say they suspect ASD issues but not use them as an excuse. What proactive things are being done to help this child settle into school and make him a successful learner. It doesn't matter if he has SEN or not - that is the key issue.

hi flyingmum,
at the moment having started the new school i think they are watching to see how he goes on to see whether there is an issue or if it was all down to bullying at the previous school.
what were your sons problems if you dont mind me asking ?

Cheeryface....glad it's gone ok and that a new friend has come about. Sounds like a good start.

Hijacking a bit here.....

Flyingmum, how old is your son?

Hi.

sorry - we have all been ill here so not got on the computer for a bit.

DS1 is now 16 (how did that happen!!!)

He's always been quirky but when very young had huge huge huge tantrums. He also would and still does a bit isolate himself from his peers. In primary he would just spin round and round in the playground. However, he is sociable and funny. Fortunately he's never been bullied.
He has very bad dyspraxia and dyslexia plus some visual perception probs too plus a bit of speech and language but frankley the latter is very good now - his vocab is amazing.

He is just very awkward and gets anxious about situations and then becomes more autistic - so will bob up and down when he walks or walk back and forward and, as I say, do lots of hand wringing. This makes him look odd.
We have been lucky. He was looked after brilliantly at primary and is at a SEN school. He gets a bit fixed in his views and needs a lot of prompting and pushing. However, he is a very nice chap to have around and is kind and friendly and very helpful. The one thing I do find that although he has chums at school he never takes the initiative to find out phone numbers or call them. I met another mum of an aspie recently who said exactly the same thing.

My son is 10.

He is like your DS1, flyingmum. Petty much exactly. Just additionally diagnosed with OCD which has floored us.....

He sounds lovely, your boy and you obviously love him to bits.

Cheeryface....how's it all going for him, week two?

Cheeryface

DS1 is 12, 13 in July. A week ago he was finally dx with Aspergers.

In primary nobody noticed there was a problem, he was the ideal pupil. Did his work, scored high in the SATS, in yr2 and yr6.

He was badly bullied so in my mind was isolating himself.
Other pupils would say he over reacted to comments, touching - even in a playful way.

Then he started secondary school in September 2009, during in his first and only month at this particular school the bullying picked up again. He was faced with a group of children who were smoking, swearing, watching films for 15+ along with many other things. He started on the 7th September and exactly 1 month later came home asking me to look at his nose as it was sore, as I touched it it bled everywhere - which in turn brought on a RAS episode. At that point I had a baby to deal with and an 11 yr old who has collapsed on me.

I sorted him out got him to the sofa and finally got out of him what had happened - a group of boys had spent the day pushing him over and he banged his face twice.

This was the final thing in a long line of bullying which made me see it was so wrong.

Anyway I never wanted to believe he had aspergers although for years I knew something was different about him.

I dealt with things by coming on MN and venting about him/his behaviour. It was not met with pleasent replies but harsh ones. I am glad as MN gave me the kick up the ass I needed to take action and find out what was causing my DS to have so many problems/outbiursts. So after months of waiting we got the dx, what happens now - well I am not sure other than I have informed the school and am also looking for ways I can help him.

I wouldn't rule anything out tbh just go with it, don't stress at the end of the day he will always be who he is.

Sorry for rambling!!!

This is a sad tale.

Two things. My son is only 10 with ASD (high functioning) and more recently OCD diagnosis which apparently sits hand in glove with Aspergers. I'm so glad you have a diagnosis for your boy. My son was diagnosed aged 4yrs so, a different story entirely but, whilst he's in a good primary mainstream setting now, I do worry for him when the time comes for secondary. I don't think he'll survive, frankly so am looking at secondary with ASD provision.

Secondly, how come our schools allow bullying? They MUST have been aware of what was happening. Successive campaigns have announced "Zero Tolerance to Bullying" but nothing changes. It's serious, for ALL kids, more so for those made vulnerable by a condition affecting behaviour.

I wish we mums could do something.

TheladyEvenstar.....have felt moved to post in Education (Bullying) after reading this thread.....

Wish we mums could do something ....

Cheeryface
I have a similar-ish tale. My son, 13, did ok in a supportive primary, tho only had one good friend (also a bit ASD, tho not dx). After transferring to secondary, things unravelled, as I had feared they might. He was mugged, and intimidated. Other kids taught him how to 'cuss' in order to survive the everyday culture at his new school. He developed OCD, became severely constipated as he wouldn't use the loos at school (still doesn't and problem persists). Only thru' the OCD treatment was he referred to ASD, and now we have a dx of ADHD and ASD (PPD). He hates school but we are struggling to find anywhere to place him. He has no friends, and spends his free time at home on the computer or other gadgets.
On the surface he is chatty, has great sense of humour, no problem with eye contact. But the underlying probs were there all along, and the stresses of secondary brought them out big time.
I really hope you get your dx and the new school works out. As Wendihouse said, you need to be very calm but firm and not give up to get what your son needs.

meagle....am the "house" of which you speak above but have namechanged for a while. Am also wearing a moustache and glasses so as to be unrecognisable!

However, have just posted on Education under bullying...... "My bully's all grown up now".

We mums should combine forces and STOP THIS SORRY STATE OF AFFAIRS to protect our kids and the adults they're going to grow into...

god it makes me so sad to hear of these kids and what they have had to endure :(
having not had to deal with bullying in Primary i had no idea how bad things could get.

but, i am pleased to say that ds2 has been a lot better since starting the new school. im not holding my breath as everything appeared fine the first week or two at the old one but i am hopeful.
I chose to send him to this school as he reallly wanted to be back with friends from the old primary and a lot had gone to this one whereas he hadnt known anyone at the other. I am a bit pertubed that after only a few days and the initial reunion with the old friends he now doesnt seem to be spending much time with them.
He seems to be having lunch etc with an older boy who he is friends with as he used to be our neighbour...so at least hes with someone.
and he does seem happier !
i am wondering whether to phone the school and see what their view is .